4/11/2003: Puppy survives eating knife
 

http://cellar.org/2003/jakeknife.jpg

Puppies eat things. It's what they do.

To the right there is Jake, and he's only 3 months old. The knife you see is the knife that he ate, WHOLE. It's only seven inches long...

The knife worked its way past the larynx, through the pup's stomach, into his intestines, when owner John Mallett noticed that Jake was strangely reluctant to curl up. No wonder:

http://cellar.org/2003/jakeknife2.jpg

They operated, and a day later Jake was his happy rolling-up self again.

     I like the way the puppy is looking at the knife. I don't think he wants seconds. On the other hand the owner looks kinda ... 'happy'.

Uh...ouch?

I'm guessing the guy had steak for dinner one night, and forgot to clean up the kitchen. ...Either that, or he had just finished skinning his cat.

Why else would a dog eat a knife?

See...dogs aren't very smart. That explains why they put up with all our crap and still give us unconditional love. Maybe God's best creation.

bm, that makes sense: it's a steak knife. And a dog will instinctively eat sharp, meat-flavored bits, because in their instincts, all sharp meat-flavored bits are bones! They won't know any different!

Dogs can digest most raw bones, but not cooked ones, so don't feed cooked bones to your dogs. (that's the tidbit for the day, which will appear in the next Triv Pursuit edition.)

Or eat a pile of cat crap and give us a big wet one on the lips!
Does this happen to anyone else?

Ahhhh puppy breath!!!!

That reminds me of a something I've heard (from several sources): Apparently the way the Eskimos would catch wolves for their fur, they would coat a knife with frozen blood and leave it sticking up from the snow. When a wolf would come across it, he would start licking the blood off of it. After a bit, it wouldn't be the blood on the knife, but his own blood that he would be licking off, until finally he bled to death, leaving the pelt completely undamaged.

I have a story as good as this
 

Many years ago my friends Ken and Lori invited me over for dinner. We were going to have grilled beef shish-kebabs. I am so there, guys.

I came over a little early and the grill wasn't even fired up. Lori was making about a dozen beautiful beef kebabs. When she was done she stacked them on a plate and put them in the bottom of the fridge.

Ken and I grabbed a couple of beers and went out to start the grill. After a while we came in, got more beer and hung out.

They had this small dog, about a 10-pound spitz. We noticed it walking around listlessly, refusing to lie or sit and generally looking sicker than shit. We had no idea what was wrong with him.

A bit later, Lori was in the kitchen and screamed "Oh my God!". We ran in and Lori said the dog had just puked up something strange. We looked closer and it was an intact 10-inch wooden skewer, covered in semi-digested grayish meat. Someone had left the refrigerator door open and he had snagged one whole.

The dog turned out OK. I consoled them with this observation: "Hey, at least we don't have to cook that one!" :D

That's a constant problem here... I blame the cat.

As one of my friends would kindly point out while I was engaging in some pack-bonding behavior (nose touching and licking) with dogs ... "Dogs have no toilet paper."

Blowmee said "Or eat a pile of cat crap and give us a big wet one on the lips! Does this happen to anyone else?"

We got a new dog last July. The first thing she discovered was the cat boxes. We had to go out and buy little corner tables to put them on so that the dog couldn't stick her nose in it and drag out a snack.

To her, the cat boxes were like a Dunkin' Donuts to us, right down to the cat litter encrusting the little treats like so many colorful sprinkles. Mmmmm....chewy AND crunchy!

Anybody ever see the "Litter Critters" skit on SNL? Goddamn...that's funny.

Aids digestion, no doubt.

A classic pseudo-commercial from a long line of them. My favorites are (1) Steve's Penis Cream, (2) Bass-o-Matic and (3) Bud Gay.

I think my favorite is still "Colon Blow."

I'm still a "Little Chocolate Donuts" guy. The Bruce Jenner take off made it.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Bud Gay seconded.

Calvin Kleen's "Obsession" - cleaning fluid for OCD, done perfectly in the style of Calvin ads of the day.

Oh shit, I completely forgot about Happy Fun Ball!

Spud Beer.

Puppy Uppers/Doggie Downers.

And wasn't there one for a breakfast cereal made totally of rocks? or was that part of the Colon Blow thing?

Oh Oh OH ... and the car commercial, the one with the ride so smooth you could perform a circumcision in it? (for those who have seen it but are too young to remember, there was a real commercial that ran around the same time featuring a diamond cutting on a cobblestone street).

Add me in as another vote for Happy Fun Ball, which may cause irritation when exposed to certain types of skin.

Wolf, the cereal commercial you are thinking of is for "Quarry."

Happy Fun Ball contains a green glowing substance, presumably from outer space.

Quarry was a good one. Colon Blow is one of my favorites - we miss you, Phil. I really like "Oops! I Crapped My Pants" adult diapers and "Bad Idea Jeans".

Mmmmm, that's good bass!

not to thread-jack...
 

...but I had to share. This morning I was woken up around 5 am by my Mastiff Maximus freaking out. Apparently he had gotten into the garbage and eaten a whole bucket full of chicken bones. So I call the vet. As I'm talking to the vet, he pukes all over me. I mean ALL over. He had a bucket of chicken crap in him in additon to the 7 lbs of dry food he just ate. The good news was that he didn't have to go to the vet. Bad news, I think I'm going to have to burn my clothes. I just read last Friday somewhere that the larger the dog, the less they actually chew, and by the size of the chunks on my chucks, i would agree that they fit a 280 lb dog.....nasty..

I'll stick with women.