Yeah, I've got your damned tip right here!
 

I was listening to the Diane Rehm Show on NPR Wednesday morning, and her guest in the second hour was author Alison Owings. Owings is the author of Hey, Waitress, a look at the lives of various waitresses from all walks of life. (For you old-school folks, think of the book Coffee, Tea, or Me?, only with waitresses replacing stewardesses.)

Naturally, the issue of tipping came up. You know, the whole 15% deal and all. If you go to Diane Rehm's site (link above), you can listen to the conversation. And of course, the following question came up: should tipping be done away with?

I speak on the matter with some experience. I worked in a restaurant for just over a year as a busboy. At the time (1991), the federal minimum wage had just been raised to $4.25 per hour. However, because I received tips, the minimum wage was $2.13 per hour. I actually got $3.50 per hour plus tips, and in the end, it came out to about $6 an hour. Which was pretty good at age 16.

The current federal minimum wage is $5.15 per hour; however, the rate for tipped employees is still $2.13 per hour. In the grand scheme of things, it looks like tipped employees lost some money on that. However, if you figure that restaurants have raised their prices over the past 12 years, making it likely that a customer will tip more, their wages probably went up with everyone else's.

In the end, I do not think that tips should be ceased. However, I think it may be time to make some changes to the system. I think that restauranteurs use the tip system too heavily to subsidize wages.

My rationale is that a tip is a reward for a job well done. If I give you outstanding service, and you give me a tip, that's great! But I shouldn't expect that. And my livelihood shouldn't be based on that.

Oh, come on, Syc! These people choose to do this type of job. They should know what they're getting into.

True. Most of us choose what type of job we want. However, everyone in this country deserves to make a living wage. A server could be shit out of luck if the cook fucks something up, or a bartender makes a bad drink. Try as they might, the server may still not be able to recover from something beyond their control. And there are some people out there that absolutely refuse to tip, for whatever reasons. And of course, if there were no servers, there would be no restaurants, and a lot of people would be out of work, and the service sector would lose a huge chunk of money.

Now then, what I propose would be frowned upon by many, but hear me out. I believe that the 15% gratuity slapped on large parties (usually 6-8 or more) should be applied to every bill. Or rather, to every item on the menu.

What?! Have you been hitting that Penn Dutch Egg Nog again, Syc? You raise prices at restaurants, and people will stop going. Then you'll have a bunch of people out of jobs.

Malarkey. If every sit-down type restaurant did this, in the end, I don't think it would be that noticeable. Furthermore, with the gratuity already added in, you won't feel obliged to tip, because the server is already going to get their cut. Of course, if they do a bang-up job, why not tip them? But you don't HAVE to. No one will quit going to restaurants just because the Veal Piccata went up to $28.75 from $25. After all, the biggest reason for going to a restaurant is probably because you like the food, with ambience and service following closely behind.

What about the asshole waitress that treated us like shit? Why should she get my extra 15%?

More often than not, you'll probably get service that merits the 15%. In many cases, you'll get outstanding service. Remember, these people are working for a living. If they give you shitty service, tell the boss, who will reprimand her...and if she's that bad, she'll get canned. And as I mentioned before, I don't think that 15% would be that noticeable in the long run.

What do you folks think? If you have 45 minutes to kill, definitely check out that segment from the show.

I have a friend who thinks tipping is bad. He always finds an excuse not to tip even when the service and all was great. He really annoys me. His newest ecxuses are these two:
1. He will not tip this time because our waiter/waitress will have to share his/her tip with everyone else leaving him/her with little to go on. So he kills the middleman by doing nothing.
2. His newest one as of 2 days ago is if he uses his credit card and there is that spot for a tip he put none and then leave as quick as he can. I asked why? It is the fact that he does not trust the people not to go back after he has wrote a tip and put whatever amount they want so he puts none and dicks them out of anything. I on the other hand will tip even if the service is bad but it would be $1.00. I tip by the service of how good they are at refilling my drink. I think the highest I have tipped is $20.00 and the meal only cost 9 bucks. I think tipping is an option of the individual. Hey I have been wrong before.

I worked at a few restaurants years ago in S Tx. Unfortunately, these people had no clue about tipping. We were lucky to end the night with a 7% average. They thought that it should be an option (and it is, to a point), and usually left whatever pocket change they had. One (shitty) night, I had a table of 5. Our cutoff for gratuity included was 6, I believe. Their final bill came to almost 85$ or so, and the guy hands me 85 bucks. I come back with the change as he and the group were leaving, and handed it to him. "No, you keep it. The service was great!" My reply? "Sir, it looks like you need it more than I do." I couldn't believe I said it after they were gone. Several other people heard me, and seemed a little amazed as well.

One of the worst tippers I've ever come across was Abe Quintinilla. I know most of you probably don't follow Latina musica (neither do I), but this was Selena's dad. (You know -- the chick that got shot by her manager...the same chick that J-Lo did that movie about...whatever.) So this guy has millions after his daughter has died, and even more after he's sued everyone possible for using her name once he licensed it. He used to come in with various business clients and order quite a bit o' stuff, but leave almost nothing on the table. We (the waitstaff) used to get into arguments about who would serve him. I had him several times, and finally realized that no matter what you did to please him, it wouldn't help. So I just started jacking up his order, "forgetting" refills, etc. What's the point of trying when it only matters to you? I didn't take any pride in the job, so it didn't matter.

That was around the time I came up with my million-dollar idea (the fourth or fifth one, actually). Each table in a restaurant is outfitted with a small digital billboard-type sign (about the size of your keyboard). The sign is setup as a counter, in the form of 99.99, and is used to count down the server's tip. Possible scenario:
The hostess seats a party, and starts the clock. The clock starts at 20%. It counts down until the server arrives. Once he arrives to take their drink order, he stops the clock. After he leaves the table to retrieve the drinks, he has a grace period before they are allowed to restart the clock. Throughout the meal, this continues as they need him for refills, more X, an extra Y -- you get the picture. As he is preparing the bill, the final amount on the clock is added in as gratuity.
Several rules have to be in place for this to work: The tip-counter and grace-period have to move at a pace that is respected by both the server and patron. I assume that .5%/minute would work for the counter, and a 3-minute grace should work for both parties. Also, the patron may only start the clock for valid requests. Asking him to come back to repeat the specials of the day is not a valid request. Needing extra mayonaisse or dropping your fork on the floor is, though. And larger parties' counter would have to either start at a higher rate, or count slower.
Decent idea? What do you think? Gimme some feedback, Jack.

The cooks make the food, and the waitresses carry it from the counter to the customer's table. Who does more work? Seriously, what are they going to strain their back or something? Oh, wait -- the waitresses fill drinks, too.

Really, anyone can carry food to a table and fill drinks. Does this sort of job really merit extra money? The majority of the work put in to your meal is done by the cooks. If it sucks, it's probably their fault, and if it's stellar, that's probably because of them, too. Cooks don't ask for handouts, though. They just do their job.

I'm an outrageous tipper, especially at places that don't charge like the high-falutin' restaurants.

I don't care why the practice came about, all I know is it's an opportunity to pay somebody to like me.

Cooks at better restaurants make a lot more than 2.13/hr, though. I know a guy that supported his family cooking. He worked about 50-60 hours a week, but they didn't starve and he drove a decent car.

I don't care that you don't care. I'm learnin' ya anyhow:
Read this site for more. His formatting is a bit screwy, but it is a quick, worthwhile read. There's also a good amount of info that you'd like, juju.

I've cooked and I've served. Waiting tables is the only job that gave and still gives me nightmares. Its the front lines. Cooks dont have to (ususally) face the mean, drunk, and insane- thoughh cooks have other pressures. I feel the world would be in much better shape if a healthy stint in food service was mandatory for all humans between 16-26.
I tip well- 20+. I'm patient and I see what the server is or isnt doing. I have withheld or walked out and I let the server and the manager know why.

Juju, when you and Kathy go to the Sizzler, who's the one person at the restaurant that is most memorable later on? The server, right?

The server is an actor, the front line, the representative of the restaurant. The initial contact between server and diner can sometimes make or break future visits to said restaurant. And I don't know about you, but it ain't easy to carry a large tray of hot dishes, while trying to avoid bumping into others, having others bump into you, or dealing with a slick kitchen floor. And if you're a woman, it's that much worse, b/c you have to deal with sexual harrassment. (And yeah, I know it happens to guys too, but in my experience, it happens more to the ladies.)

In some restaurants, cooks actually get a cut of the server's tips. In general though, cooks get paid pretty well, especially if they have formal training.

Blowmee, the idea is interesting...now that I reread it 32 times and understand it. (I'm a little slow.) But then the restaurant owners would bitch about having to install something like that, and jack prices up worse than a gratuity.

In general, I tip in the neighborhood of 20-25%...sometimes higher, sometimes lower. Sadly, I haven't received very good service at places I've been to recently. Rho and I went to Chi-Chi's about a month ago. It was Super Bowl Sunday, about 8:30 or so in the evening. There was almost no one else in the restaurant, and trying to get this waitress's attention to get a tea refill was like pulling teeth. I think I left 10 or so percent.

Back in my PR days (that's pre-Rho), I would try to be all smooth and shit. If I was getting good service by a cute waitress, when I signed the bill, I would leave my phone number under my signature (even though it was unrequired). Never got a call though...*snaps his fingers*

Snopes to the Rescue ...
 

As is the case with most cute stories about the origin of something, the "to insure prompt service" story is an urban legend.

(I just got the hundreth copy of the pluck yew middle finger salute story in my email inbox, and while I was checking that one, I looked this one up too ...)

You clearly didn't leave a big enough tip ... ;)

I do agree that the server can make or break one's impression of a restaurant. There are quite a few places that I've gotten an entirely different impression of, just by having a different member of the wait staff.

I don't have a problem with tipping, and typically do so at the 20-25% level ... there was this one time, though ... I was with friends at the wyndham franklin plaza in Phila for a sci fi convention. we ate in the hotel atrium restaurant because it was more convenient, and got badly snubbed by a gay waiter. I understand that this is part of his job (the snubbing, I mean)... and we WERE dressed for the con. But his assumption that he would get a shitty tip affected his ability to provide service ... we watched how he handled the table of businessfolk next to us ... it WAS just how he was dealing with us as con participants. Told the little bastard off at the end of the meal too ... showed him how much he WOULD have gotten if he had provided us the same level of service that he did to the business suit crowd and then exact changed him. I doubt that this made any difference in his behavior. I haven't been back there since.

I also take issue with the mandatory 15-18% tip for large parties ... left to our own devices, the folks I hang out with would tip WAY over that amount. But when they lump it in like that, as though it's an expectation rather than a bonus ... fuck 'em. they get what they write down on the check.

A question for all (and I know that there is someone on here that's working for a coffee cafe of some kind) ...

What do you think of tipping folks at what are essentially fast food establishments (I'm talking starbucks type places ... counter service, they dole out the product, you take it) and wander off, don't stay in the store for any real length of time, no table service). Do these folks deserve tips? I'm thinking not, since they are working in a fast food environment. I don't tip the guy that turned over my Big Mac on the grill and assembled it ... why should the barrista get tipped?

Re: Snopes to the Rescue ...
 

Damn! Once again, my searching abilities have failed me. I should have done more research.

I agree with you that just because they have a tip jar there, you don't necessarily have to tip. If service is fantastic (like the service they give at Amy's Ice Cream), then I might stuff whatever change I have in there.

You know, I've never given much thought to the tip cups at Starbucks or Cosi (formerly XandO)...if I have leftover change, I throw it in the cup. Doesn't really bother me...I figure the folks could always use it. Plus, I generally get pretty good service from those joints...and even if I'm just getting coffee, I don't mind tipping. Because it's not like I ever give 15% or anything like that anyway (unless I'm actually in Cosi, sit down, and order something beyond coffee).

Wolf, look where you were...enough said. Although, did you REALLY have to mention that the waiter was gay? Did you even know? No, you probably didn't, you ignorant homophobe. :)

It hasn't happened a lot out here on the coast with Rho, but when I was back in the midwest, I noticed that Mimi and I would get shitty service on a regular...except if we were in a Latino restaurant. Then it was very cool. Though it could very well have been worker apathy, I suspect it was more of a race issue.

Now, now Syc ... you know that I hate everybody equally ... (okay, the REAL truth is that I despise people on an indivual basis, irrespective of any class to which they may belong. An asshole is an asshole regardless of race, sexual orientation, social status, religion, disability or ethnicity.)

(The being snubbed by a gay waiter is such a cliche' anyway ... and this dude wasn't just gay, he was FLAMING. A caricature of a gay waiter. I am a well-established hag, btw ... If you need evidence of my bona fides, I will refer you to my pretend son)

You may think tipping's just a bonus, but it <i>is</i> expected. The waitresses I've worked with get pissed when they don't get a tip. They feel like they've been cheated out of their own money. It may cause them to be nicer to you, but in the kitchen it turns them into money-grubbing bitches.

Where I work, you'll get a stern talking to if you ever attempt to help another waitresses' customer. They want to be the only one who helps their customers, so that they get all of the tip. Even if the customers' pizza sits there next to the oven for 10 minutes, and it would only take the cook 10 seconds to carry it out, it would cause the waitress to hate the cook for the rest of the night. Therefore, your food just sits there, getting cold, until your designated wait person isn't busy anymore.

How is this customer service? In my opinion, it isn't. It's just the illusion of customer service. When I worked in retail, the entire staff were allowed to work with a customer to ensure they got what they wanted immediately. We relied on teamwork. Wait staff don't rely on teamwork at all. Instead they jealously guard their tables like animals guard a hunk of meat. Sure, they're nice to you. What good is that if they're too busy to help you?

Of course, I've only worked in one restaurant. Perhaps it's different elsewhere.

Also, at places like Blockbuster Video and Best Buy, customers are just as rude as they are in restaurants, if not more. I've heard many, many people say that if they don't get their way, they're perfectly justified in throwing all of their anger at the staff and basically throwing a fit until they get their way. This sort of behavior happens every day in retail, and they take a lot of shit. Do they expect handouts? No, they just do their job.

Re: Yeah, I've got your damned tip right here!
 

I couldn't let this stand without some comment.

Why? What does society owe everyone in regards to their wage? The minimum wage laws are in place and almost irrelevant. Does anyone make the minimum wage? I now make 6 bucks an hour and it's a <b>LOW</b> wage, but it's above minimum. As uncomfortable as I am in this temporary shitty arrangement I don't think the government or any other feel good group should lift the wages of the shitjob workers. The market determines what I will make right now. I can't afford <B>most</b> of the cool things I used to do on $235 a week, does that mean that some compassionate group should lobby for me to make more money? No. What this means to me is that I should do something every god damned fucking day to take a step toward digging out of this nightmare. For me, it's focusing on getting out of this aweful place. I took this job instead of attempting to find another design job far away so I can complete a BSCS. Then all this asskissing for no cash bullshit will be replaced with something much better.

My personal observation of the people that I work with is that they have either given up hope on ever doing anything real or they drink (or whatever) to escape from the reality that they have a shit job, make no money, and have no control. I am often bitchy at this shit job from hell, but when I hear one of the others complain about the job, I ask them "what will you be doing when you leave shift today, that will take you one step closer to getting away from this type of job forever?" Most of them don't have a clue. These are the folks that Uncle Teddy feels he has to step in and help, but they are unhelpable! So, I feel that no one, not even me, is "entitled" to a living wage. What the fuck is a living wage anyway? In this area $235 a week is. Not a real comfortable LW, but it's doable.

I also had a few comments about the wait staff and tipping.

On most of my work travels I would look for a cheap place to stay shortly after starting an assignment (so I could wheelbarrow the money into my brokerage acct, to make really bad investments, to lose tens of thousands of dollars and end up working a shitjob from hell) I'd also look for a reasonable place to eat because I wouldn't have a place to cook. At every location I'd find some friendly waitress that I'd "train" to to prepare my food the way I like it. I would always tip her big. She wasn't my friend, lover, slave or anything else really, just someone not from the office I could chat with briefly as I ate. I would ask her for local information, directions around town, current local events, anything that might affect me while I was in that given town. It always worked out great for both of us. The nightly dinners at the chosen greasy spoon were often my only real social interaction, and I always appreciated them. Before I would leave a town I'd make it a point to say goodbye and thankyou along with a final $20 tip.

There was one place in Ct I stopped in, while in an incredible crunch for time. I walked in to the resteraunt with a briefcase, planner, and a $10 bill. The waitress came over and I said in a hurried tone of voice "I need a place to set down to do some paperwork and I might need to use a cell phone, is there a place out of the way here that I has good cell reception?" She hesitated for a second then I put the $10 in her hand and told her that was for her and I might not order anything but I had a lot to do and that I would rather be left alone. She looked at the ten like it was a one hundred and opened a booth in the back section of the diner. Perfect. For the next 6 months or so, I ate there in the same space in the back and left her about $5 a meal. Was it worth helping me get through my emergency? The other diner I went to was almost totally unresponsive with exactly the same scenario.

(This concludes the slightly off topic slang commentary/storytime)

:)

Thats funny UT, and I agree. When I develop a friendship I can stop eating out. :)

I generally tip 20% or so... when I have lunch at one of the local restaurants near my office (chinese or diner mostly), my lunch total generally comes to $7 to $10. At that price point I usually just give 20% rounded up to the next quarter if they haven't done anything to piss me off. If I am pissed off, I'll probably leave 10%, but it takes a lot to provoke me to that extent, and once it's happened, I'm probably not going back to that place. Once I left 5%. See below.

However I don't tip when I get takeout or fast food.

I've had a similar idea. In my case, my one pet peeve about restaurant dining that I really can't stand is when you've had a good meal, good service... and it takes forever to receive and pay your check. So I devised the idea of a clock, much as you suggest, that would say "your tip is $x" and then, after a preset period of time, say 5 minutes, start counting down the amount of the tip. The clock would start when I request my check and stop counting when I'm paid up and ready to leave.

The one time I left a 5% tip was at Olive Garden. We were there for my wife's birthday and the amount of time it took to get takeout boxes and pay the bill was shocking---almost 45 minutes. In retrospect I should have complained to the manager. But I didn't feel like it, we just never went back. (I probably wouldn't have complained there anyway... I usually write a letter, which I find more satisfying for some reason.)

Like Tony, I'm an outrageous tipper most of the time. Here are my criteria:

<ul><li>Did the server make the experience enjoyable, even if the food wasn't great?
<li>Were drinks refilled regularly and promptly?
<li>Was the waitress/waiter by my table frequently enough such that I didn't have to wait to ask for the check? (Bonus: they bring it out before I ask for it, asking "Are you ready for the check?" - hardly ever do I want dessert.)
<li>Once I receive the check, how long does it take for them to pick up my credit card?
<li>Do I have it back in a reasonable amount of time?</ul>

Like KB, once I'm done eating, I want to get the hell out of there. Far more important than food quality is whether or not it's been a pleasant experience for me - and sitting there bored and waiting for the check is not a pleasant experience.

I think I've only ever tipped under 15% once, and that was when I was <b>livid</b> with our waitress. She was by the table to take our order, bring our drinks, bring the food and then pick up the check. I asked for stuff that I didn't get and I really didn't have an opportunity to ask for it again. This was at the Silver Diner in Tyson's Corner, where I had previously had a similar experience. I give everyone one strike - we all have an off day. But this was, I'm almost certain, the same waitress that I had previously had (and complained about).

The total was $21.27, if I recall correctly, and I left $22 on the table - only because I didn't have $21.26 exactly and was too lazy to make change. I won't be dining there ever again.

(For those in the area with similar experiences - there is an <b>excellent</b> Silver Diner down Gallows Rd. in Merrifield. Go south from Tyson's and you can't miss it.)

Heh.. well.. if it's just my wife and me we can pass some time talking to each other. (Though I'd still generally rather get out and continue talking elsewhere.) But if we have the kdis along, as we did in this case.... my kids are, I think typical, in that they have a certain limit to the amount of time they'll sit still doing nothing, and then they have to start doing something. Once they've passed their limit and started trying to climb the light fixture, disassemble the venetian blinds, have a conversation with the folks at the next table, dance in the aisles, etc., it's not only a bad experience for the parents, it's also a bad experience for all the other diners in the area, which means it's REALLY REALLY bad for business not to shuffle them out as quickly as possible.

It's interesting to me how the very things we tip to avoid are the very problems that the practice of tipping itself causes. If that's not irony, I don't know what is.

I completely agree with you. Waiting especially as you learn how to be sociable and to initiate the conversation; and how to be friendly even though you want to kick the customer in the balls.

When it comes to tipping I'm generally at least 20 percent. Friendly service is the biggest factor in my decision on the amount to tip, but also the servers ability to do stuff without being asked, such as noticing when the drinks are down to 1/4 full and bringing you a new one so you never run out. Anytime a server is obviously keeping his/her eyes open as she rushes by on the way back to the kitchen warrents a good sized tip.