Tree Jumpers in Da Hood
 

Thought about just putting this in "What's bumming my stone" or one of them there threads, but maybe it's worth a parenting discussion.

We just got a letter that a Registered Sex Offender moved into the neighborhood, about 10 blocks away. Around here those ten blocks are maybe 3/4 of a mile, and not on a route my kids would walk.

And it's a small town where nearly everyone knows them. The walk to school is in the opposite direction and the route they take goes through a fairly populated neighborhood. Up until recently the kids walked with their mom to school, but the inch is now wanting to walk alone, so he leaves 5 or 10 minutes before mom and the mm.

It's probably not a big deal, but it's the kind of shit I'd rather not have to worry about. You can go online and read up on their rap sheets, find out their favorite type of victim, whether it was someone they knew or just a random. In some ways it is comforting to know if their victims were adults and not children, unfortunately in this case, the guy likes kids.

The good news is this town is where cops train and the police presence is insane and highly active. It just sucks to have to think of parts of town or people as being dangerous.

We and the school have done all the usual talk about safety, etc. So it's more of a "Oh crap. Not another thing." kind of feeling.


I've restrained myself from opening the "What they should do..." can of worms, but my mind does go there...

induct him into the ranks of the Castrati?

I was thinking fertilizer

Have you had a talk with the kids about how to respond to someone trying to abduct them? Yell, scream, fight back, run away, etc.

...feet first through a wood chipper. One of those with the hydraulics-controlled feed...so he don't get pulled through too quickly.

Also, I'm having trouble grasping the title of this thread.

"Tree Jumpers"

An explanation would be greatly appreciated.

You know where this one is. It's the ones you aren't aware of that are a worry.

There will be people in your community who like kids.

Not having childer myself, I can only respond in a practical way.
Note: this is not a criticism of more emotional responses, given that I'm not tw...

But yes, the best possible (legal) protection is to follow Glatt's advice.
We were scared of bushes by my Mum, when we used to run wild in the fields and farmlands that are now all houses hereabouts. Bad men would grab you and drag you into the bushes.
But on a practical level we were never to go out alone (except with the dog) and never, ever, ever take a lift from any man, not even a neighbour or a man we knew. Somehow I took this to mean Mr M, who lived two doors down. Years later I questioned Mum who was horrified, she only meant to warn us about men we might have met fleetingly, like random work colleagues of Dad, who he barely knew.

But yes, scream, shut, holler, bite, scratch and never believe anyone who says they won't hurt you if you're quiet. And if you're the one who's free, run screaming your head off to the nearest house but don't go inside or stop making a noise until there are plenty of people there.

Oddly, none of this advice ever scared or scarred me, but then I was brought up on a diet of quite horrific Public Safety films which featured children dying in appalling ways. And I had no concept of sex or molestation, so the Bad Men would probably have been drowning me in slurry or trying to make me cross a railway track.

Sadly I think grooming is they new Man in the Bushes. It was what snagged my niece into a pseudo-relationship with a man twice her age. NOT the father of her twins btw.
They lived next door to each other and it turns out he'd been paying her attention for years before anything physical happened. Which is so creepy, given that she was 15 when it all came out.

Must be a real worry for you though Foot.

"Registered Sex Offender", clear as mud but it covers the ground. Unfortunately it leaves much to the imagination.

Did this guy snatch children off the street? Lure kids into his house? Molest neighborhood kids? Molest minors he was living with or minor relatives he was babysitting? Maybe it had nothing to do with children.

Maybe he didn't have contact with minors but was trading in kiddie porn. Or just got caught with kiddie porn on his computer. Or got caught screwing his underage girlfriend. Maybe masturbating in a public park.

Of course when you throw plea bargains into the mix, it gets really murky.

It would be nice to know more about the guy, how he got the millstone of "Registered sex Offender".

I knew a guy (a real jackass, incidentally) who was a registered sex offender. And he claimed he was drunk and peeing in the alleyway and got the label that way. Indecent exposure got him the label.

I don't know if it's true, but I can see that happening. When I looked him up, there was no detail given.

If you're a 17yo and have sex with your 16yo girl/boyfriend, you can get a sex offender label in some places....

But foot said - 'the guy likes kids'. He's not a teen with a 16 year old girlfriend or a public urinator (pee-er? peer?).

Educating the kids and making sure they travel in groups is key. I'd like to think that the local schools would be proactive, too.

That still leaves a broad spectrum of possibilities.

Minor point: careful not to over-emphasise the caution needed around men. There are cases of children being lured in by women.

True, however, my comment related more to the one directly above it. There is no way of knowing exactly how much of a risk this person is unless you were directly involved in the case they were convicted for imo.

At least now people are forewarned

If you think having a registered sex offender in your neighborhood is bad, you should see what happens when they enter the healthcare system. They aren't refused admittance to hospitals or nursing homes where it's considerably more difficult to avoid them.

***

Feet, I noticed you said your kids' walk to school is in the opposite direction of the kiddyfiddler.

Just how close does Mr McFeely live to the school? There are restrictions regarding how close sex offenders (of any type, I think) can live to places where there will be children.

See what your local laws are regarding this.

tree jumpers?

Monster FTW.

Agreed.

Hey footfootfoot

It seems obvious that you're concerned for the safety of your kids. I reckon you have concern for all children ("what should we do", "fertilizer", etc.). Like you, I'll forgo discussing the second, wider question and instead focus on the first question, the safety of your children.

If I were in your situation, just thinking out loud here.....

I have been informed about this man's presence and this label associated with him, and some of his background. I'd talk to him directly. I wouldn't be hostile, but I'd be definite about what I'd been told about him. I'd ask him what his plans are, how he plans to stay safe, etc. I'd tell him I have a couple young kids and that I worry about their safety. I'd make clear to him that I don't want to worry about their safety with regard to him.

As I type this, I realize it sounds very menacing, though that's not my intent. I intend to protect myself and my family by making this man aware of my awareness of him. I would want him to know that I'm alert to his presence and that my kids are alert to his presence; ffs, he's been outed/publicly stigmatized. I would hope to lead him to the conclusion that messing with my children is not worth the trouble. That I know about him and that I'm fine with live and let live, but stay away from my family. Period.

Yep. That still sounds menacing and maybe that's a problem. But I think about all the other kinds of warnings that we're exposed to and what ones are most effective. I think those with a personal touch have the greatest effect. Just what I'm hoping for here, great effect. I'm not suggesting any kind of threat, only to make clear that I and my family are not an easy, unsuspecting target.

...

From the other end of the problem, namely my kids, I'd tell them what's happening too. How to express this serious issue in an age appropriate way (you might have to have your thesaurus handy when you talk to the mm), and in a non-scarring, non-scaring way... those are critical considerations that I can't give specific advice about since I'm not there to read the kids, or the situation. I'd be specific about this fellow, including his picture. Generally speaking, I'd talk about the kinds of things they should look out for. There are the cliches like luring with candy or lost puppies, etc and they're valid, if cliched. Also talk about secrets and how not to have them. Where and what kind of touching is improper (covered by your bathing suit--never proper, for example). Who to avoid being alone with and who it's ok to be alone with (duh, you, mom, etc. a blanket rule isn't gonna work here). Also grooming, which you and I know about, but can be difficult to impossible to convey to a kid.

Those are just the ones that come to mind in this post. There are lots of resources out there to look at and learn from. If this is an area that you'd like more conversation about, say so, and I'll offer more. My point is to tell your kids about what's going on so they're not unsuspecting, oblivious, easy, ignorant victims. How you do that without going too far... that's up to your artfulness as a parent. Frequent, regular check-ins with them helps keep you aware, or at least the chance to be aware about what's going on with them. Help them defend themselves with knowledge and preparation for action.

Visit him long enough to take his picture and leave.

To do this, foot would have to show the abuser a photo of his particular kids, so he'd know which ones to stay away from. Not a good idea to bring them to the forefront of the abuser's mind, in my opinion. I do support showing the kids a picture of him, if you can get one, but around here photos are not included in the public record. Maybe driving past his house so they know for sure where to stay away from. But frankly, the whole "personal threat" thing usually backfires, in my experience. Abusers often abuse women and children for the sense of power that comes with it. If a big scary man threatens the abuser, it just exacerbates his inferiority and makes him more likely to commit another act of abuse sooner rather than later.

Can't really address this now, but will try to later.

I'm reading a book called 'the passage' right now. It's about vampires, but the story explains how they came to be. It's set in the near future, and what happens is that the government stumbles upon a virus that cures all known diseases, but also turns it's victims into glow in the dark vampires.

The project that follows the discovery is a super secret, off the books scientific trial, in which they infect death row inmates with varying strains of the virus and try to fine tune it to get the right mix of... Didn't die from the virus and useful to the army super soldiers....

For whatever reason, the caretakers they hire / abduct to watch over and feed the test subjects are all castrated pedophiles.

Inevitably, the vampires escape containment and the virus is unleashed. And so the story goes on like that.... I'm at a point just after this happens. But the people take to calling the monsters 'Jumpers' because they travel in the tree tops and jump on their victims when they attack.

So, 'Tree Jumpers' kind of ties in. Have you read this book, foot? Cuz I can't figure out why else you refer to those types this way.

That's prison slang for any sexual offenders. i.e. they jump out from behind a tree...

In my early days at the cellar there was a user called 404error or something who used to be a prison guard, he used that term and there was a discussion about it.


Here it is:http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=7...ht=tree+jumper

We say nonce over here.
Can't tell you if there's a different term inside, but that's what the Police use in unguarded moments.

I thought nonce meant a short span of time.

Well, it means for the time being (for the nonce). But it's only used like that within that phrase.

Mostly, if you hear someone use the word nonce it means sex offender.



[eta] according to wikipedia:

That made me giggle. I doubt they have much of a British following, or at least not one that would wear the name on t-shirts :P

As I said, I was just thinking out loud, I didn't intend to give the impression I had a completely worked out plan.

However, I don't agree with your first statement anyhow. He can stay away from footfootfoot's children by staying away from all children without knowing which ones are his. That's the most desirable result of all, and it's certainly possible.

I did try to make clear that there's no "personal threat" involved--I repeatedly said that I want this fellow to know that he's a known person and a known quantity to me, that I and my family are alert to him and his past offenses, that every other target is less undesirable than mine. Don't know which is mine? Not my problem, not a problem at all. I'm not giving him any kind of permission to prey on anyone, only to say that me and mine are not easy, unsuspecting prey.

Your last point about the motivations of abusers, etc. Well. I can imagine your logic might fit for some kinds of abuse, namely spousal abuse for example, where power is at play. But it doesn't seem as good a fit for the motivation of sexual abuse of children. Physical abuse? Yeah, I could see that. Babies get shaken all the time by frustrated men who can't "control" the crying of the baby, etc. Like I said, I have scant details about the situation in his neighborhood. But to take the opposite tack, lie low, don't draw attention, don't make him mad or feel inferior... That doesn't sound like a good safety plan. There is no security through obscurity. Inciting him to commit further sexual abuse of children because I "made him feel more inferior" doesn't sound logical, BUT THEN, the whole fucked up situation inside the head of child abusers isn't logical to me either, so wtf.

One is tempted to say there is no defense against such assaults, but that's not true. There ARE ways to reduce the risk, and all of them involve awareness, mostly on the part of the parents, and of the children. I've had training that talked about how to help reduce the risks to the children. It is not hopeless, children are not helpless.

• doing nothing distinguishes me and mine not at all from the rest of the population
• you've suggested that my ideas about speaking up may well put my children at greater risk because I've made him feel even more inferior by my breast-beating; that he'd abuse sooner (though upon rereading, you didn't say abuse **my** kids sooner, just "sooner")
• this doesn't follow for me, I've never gotten the sense that abusers abuse (sexual abuse, not physical abuse) out of revenge.

Tree Jumpers in Da Hood
 

At my phone so again, brief and not addressing everyone's many points. The realistic issue was alluded to by sexobon. We have two drugstores, a grocery store, two convenience shops that are side by each,* a hardware store, a few realtors, a bookshop, two pizza places, a Chinese restaurant, A library, a post office, a bank, and one or two other shops. The town is only about ten blocks long and four blocks wide.

I don't think he poses a real threat, a number of photos of him are on the nonce alert website. It's more an annoyance like having dog shit on your shoe and not discovering it until you are in rush hour traffic in the winter and the heat has come on.

The fact remains one is likely to encounter the guy at one of the local stores. Though thinking about it, if I was in his place I'd make the drive to Albany or Saratoga.

Sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate anything personally negative about your approach. I'm extremely non-confrontational by nature, so it's not surprising that my brain can come up with a million and one reasons to avoid the guy rather than talking to him.

Anyone who offends me is gonna have to get registered, it's the law.

But I keep the rolls, sexobon ... offenders and offended.

Pony up.

what about a ponce? what's that?

Teh gay.
Although it can also mean a pimp.

Thank God. I'd about warped my fragile little mind. I kept hearing 'tree jumper' in my head, and could only work out a cross between a drop bear and a molester.

I just keep thinking flying squirrels in hoodies

Hmmm...

I need that outfit.

Squirell nutkin wants to do some base jumping does he?

Wingsuit flying is definitely on my bucket list. Might be best to save it for last, just in case...

Anybody can do it once.