The most obscene vowel (NSFW Text)
 

A while back, I was browsing a list of insults, and noticed the short "u" vowel sound seems to be over-represented in our most obscene phrases. To wit:

Cunt-punting Fuck-nugget
Cum-guzzling Thunder-cunt
Cock-juggling Cluster-fuck
Scum-sucking Cock-socket
Numb-nutted Cum-bucket

The short "i" sound earns an honourable mention for it's work with piss and shit, but the "u" rules when it comes to sex-related obscenity.

Are my observations accurate? Am I ignoring other obscenities?

If this hypothesis is the case, why would it be so?

Without "u"s, those words would be useless.

FCK, the only thing missing is yoU

Frickin' A, "i" ain't missing "u" at all.

I think in the examples you listed, that sound is actually a schwa, which is the most common vowel sound in English.

It's pretty onomatopoetic for the grunting and moaning of intercourse, I'd say. Most people don't go "Eee! Eee!" as they're being pounded from behind by a burly pizza delivery man who just happened to show up.

From my somewhat limited experience, Japanese porn vocalizations seem predominantly to be of the "Eee! Eee!" variety.

But is that with tentacles, or without?

Let's ask Zen: do actual Japanese women say "Eee, eee" or "Uhh, uhh?"

And busterb too! What do Sumatran women say? Anyone else with exotic overseas experience?

They do say eee eee. In fact they scream EEE EEE.

I've always loved the fact that when Lola laughs (in writing at least) it's "hi,hi,hi," rather than "ha,ha,ha."

But then I have the sort of mind that is amused by answering the phone by saying, "Hai!" knowing that most people will hear it as "Hi!"

-Piss knuckles
-Eye Rape
-Cunt Scab
-Balls Boyle
-Carny Dick

I think hard vowels are more important than just the u

Yeah, the Kuh sound is a big part of it.

In the opinion of one author (no, I can't remember, sorry), bastard with a short a (as in bAt) sounds best and dirtiest of all semi-rude words.
And is therefore best delivered in many UK accents. Not all though.
I changed my pronunciation because the idea appealed to me so much.

Silly cunt.

Hard vowels, or hard consonants?

"Trollop" has a good offensive sound to it.

bastard sounds best with a northern twang :P

as in 'Ned Stark's bastard'

Yes, and I should clarify that I never intended "cock-socket" to be pronounced that way - I just put it in because I liked the sound of it.

Interesting idea. How's this for a hypothesis: the most obscene words in any language will be onomatopoeia for the sound that culture makes while having sex.

... no, that assumes the link between sex and obscenity.

H2: in most languages, sex-related vocabulary will be onomatopoeia for the sounds that culture makes while having sex.

This is your go-to example of typical sexual behaviour? ;)

Still, in my head it connected with learning in grade six to spell cemetery with the mnemonic "he screamed EEE as he ran through the cEmEtEry".

I'm glad there aren't three Es in "delivery".

Slightly off topic; I learned to spell many words by pronouncing them the way they were spelled rather than the way they sounded. Sometimes the two coalesced.
Bee-ee-ay-you-tiful for example.

However carr-ack-ter, sep-arr-ate and cal-ann-derr were ones I used to highlight the part of the spelling I was likely to get wrong. I don't really say them like that. But learning them that way helped me.

Like learning my Grandparents' telephone number by the sound and rhythm of the way it was said:
Oh One Two-Six-One, Nine-Double-Two-Three.
And that's not classified information any more, as any London Dwellar can tell you. ("01 if you're outside London"?)