What's the only cloud in your otherwise blue skies today?
 

Yeah.

Lovely Bank Holiday weekend. Decided ahead of time that i was taking the full three days and not doing any work (as in academic work or teaching prep - I have been doing odds and sods around the house).

It's been delightful and we're only just into the afternoon of the third day. Sunshine, and good food, and Carrot in a good mood (he had a lovely play with his bro yesterday) and the village buzzing with activity outside.

It's great. But I have the lurghi. It's been gatherng all weekend and now it's hit me full on. Can't talk properly, head full of cotton wool and a dull ache, weak muscles, temperature all over the place etc.

I'm almost staving it off with Beechams powders and getting on with the day, and actually having quite a nice time. But it's a bit of a bugger and I'm probably going to end up having a nap. Which is a shame given the glorious sunshine.

So there.

What's the only cloud in your otherwise blue skies today?

Mine is a similar problem Dani. Today looks like it will be a good day but I'm still weak, bronchitis is still acting up and my voice is still very rough, in fact its worse these past 2 days than the previous ones. I may have to call the doctor.

The sun has not yet come up in PDX, so the day is expected to be good all day.
But then, here comes Google's camel poking it's no$e under the tent again...


Mashable.com
YouTube Launching Paid Subscriptions to Some Video Channels: Report

Your sword & shield is, it's not mandatory.

No blue skies.
Only clouds.
Family friends visiting tomorrow.
I'll be good and clean and wash and dress up. Not invited out with them, but at least I won't look fat.

Can't bear dying slowly but I couldn't bear to survive a botched attempt.
I can't get rehab, I can't get medication, I have no job and my Mum hates my addiction. Well, so do I.
Right now I think I'll just wait for the cirrhosis verdict.
Then I got nothing to lose.
I either get taken seriously by the NHS or just end up giving up on myself.

Family and friends don't get left with confusion and upset if they know there's nothing they could have done anyway.

Right now just going for a kip.
Nothing sinister.
I just had some lovely dreams last night. To sleep perchance to dream?
Dinner tonight is steak anyway, so it's not my bag.

I had some relatively free time yesterday, and found myself looking at my Google drive. I had never done that before. I don't even know where the stuff on there comes from. But anyway, I found that I had an old directory of people who were on a study abroad program with me in college. So of course I started Googling them to see what they were up to now. And that led me to a vanity search. Have to do the vanity search every once in a while. And then I wondered what sort of web footprint my kids have, so I Googled them, but there was rightfully nothing, so then I wondered what sort of web presence my college aged niece has. So I Googled her.

That was where my snooping took me too far. The first couple pictures of her were mugshots. :( Apparently she was arrested last spring for underage drinking, and was arrested a couple months ago for shoplifting. Her mom lost a long battle with cancer last fall, and I've been a little worried about her since then. Just a gut feeling, but apparently I was right to be a little worried. This young woman is going through a rough patch. I hope she gets herself straightened out.

But the big thing that's bugging me is that these mug shots are on the internet. You search her name, and it's one of the first things you find. And it will probably be there forever. The newspaper in her college town has a website that puts up the mugshots of everyone booked in the county. They have tens of thousands of mugshots up since they started this website in 2010. Kids today have it so much harder than we had it when we were growing up. Before 2010, and you get a pass in that county. After 2010 and you don't. Seems so arbitrary. There was at least one time that I should have been arrested for underage drinking and public drunkenness, but the cops just told us to stop making a racquet and go home.

I get lolz at celebrity mugshots because they are celebrities, but there are a lot of people who are being booked across this country and the information is being shared like it never was in past generations. I wonder if we're going to get to a point where nobody cares when you have a mugshot. I can't imagine it will help her future job prospects though. Especially that shoplifting one. Theft is hard to explain away.

black flies and wood ticks - I'm kinda bug phobic so both of them squick me pretty good.... and I love gardening, I love hanging out on my beautiful verandah and watching the setting sun - but the damn bugs are spoiling it for me

My meno is apparently not pausing at the moment.

Still feeling manky as fuck with this cold. And my back's gone. Gone where I hear you ask? Very fucking funny I reply.

Which is all a bit of a bugger, because I have a nice, easy weekend ahead and it would be great to spend some of it properly playing with Carrot.

That's harsh. Poor kid.

There's a real problem with criminalising youth in our society these days too. Stuff that would have warranted a telling off and maybe even a knock at the front door and parents being told (the horror, the horror!) nowadays ends up in an official caution and entry into the legal system.

Something like that should be allowed to disappear into time. I don't get where we're going with all this information collection and distribution. The younger generation seems cool with it, but I don't know if they're being clear-eyed or naive.

New mattress time?

They're cool with it because they're thinking that if/when they are in charge, no one will think it's a big deal. And by then, that will be true. But I believe the interim is going to be very rough on the clear-eyed pioneers, like it is with any social transition.

Without going into too much detail, a conversation I had today prompted me to wonder if something being 'illegal' (or not) still carries as much weight as if it has a potential financial impact/reward. As if the shift of what 'matters' is away from legal authority, towards effect on material resources.

Between the wars on drugs and file sharing a lot of people have been pushed out of the law-abiding column so many probably look at material effect.

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

Pretty wise words, in my estimation, and a permanent prohibition on stone throwing to boot.

"Those that matter don't care. Those that care don't matter."

Taken together, those young'uns will get by. As for the specific case of the niece and the stealing, honesty, should it come up, feels like the best policy. And I hope that doesn't lead to a conversation that starts with "I have untreated kleptomania." I think it could be overcome, but it will require some uncomfortable candor with an employer who has a more holistic and realistic worldview.

Do you know anyone who hasn't committed any crimes? We all know children who haven't matured to the point of such responsibility; I'm talking about more mature people. I don't. And yet there are people I know that I love, trust, and respect. Don't you think an employer that would disqualify your niece on that small amount of information might otherwise be too strict to thrive under? I don't know, it sounds kind of... unpleasantly narrow-minded.

Good post. But the part about the employer is tricky. There are different branches to an organization. Sometimes, HR is the gatekeeper, and a candidate won't even get past them to talk to the real boss if HR doesn't like seeing a check mark in a particular box.

I've had a new dilemma thrown at me tonight. My daughter, the sweetheart who dropped out of her junior year after $100K+ invested in her education, is looking for a new rental. I say hooray to that, because I signed an insane document a few years ago that makes me her co-signor as long as she cares to stay in her current apartment. She's defaulted on her rent twice in the past four months, so that the landlord was calling me at work and threatening to evict her and come after me in court for the rent. She did eventually come through, very late but did make the rent.

Now she's looking to rent a new place, a house with her bf and another person; but the landlord wants 2 co-signors. The other person has a co-signor. Her bf's parents, I learned tonight, are in bankruptcy. So, no co-signor there. She asked me to co-sign.

I swore I wouldn't do something like this. Unfortunately I have to give her an answer very soon and I can't put it off onto anyone else, even though her father volunteered to call her. But she called me and not him; she definitely thinks I'm the easier touch. I can't let him be the bad guy here.

This is bumming my stone big time. I guess it's time to put my money where my mouth is, but it's my little girl. So hard, so much guilt.

I once got a call from EldestSon asking for me to co-sign his lease with his roommates. The cost was super high and I told him no. He was standing IN THE LEASING OFFICE when he called me--no pressure, right? Anyhow, I felt terrible, but there was no way I could keep such a promise, so I didn't make that promise. He found another way to make it happen, obviously someone else co-signed for him.

I felt terrible denying him, cold, like that. But it worked out for everyone. Felt like shit, turned out ok.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

Just. Say. No. :headshake

It's the right thing to do, for you, and for her.

From what you described she has no ability to pay. You wouldn't be doing anyone a favor here. *sorry*

I think it'd be fair enough to point to her record in this. Not in a judgemental way, but just that right now, where she is in her life, she can't truly promise it won;t come back to bite you. At a time in your life where you need defences against sudden financial need. not a new way for your finances to potentially get fucked up. Unlike the last time you stood as guarantor, you really can't promise to be able to honour that now.


[eta] Is that a standard thing for them to need over there? Or is there wriggle room? I mean, if they continued looking could they find somewhere that doesn't require two guarantors? If they saved up some money and approached with an offer of a larger deposit instead maybe?

Generally they require guarantors only when there is no provable income to substantiate how the renter is going to pay for it, or if there is a previous history of bad credit (or zero credit at all.) Though it's true that some neighborhoods near colleges are assumed to be high-risk renters and the landlords just won't deal with you without a parent cosigning.

If you love someone, you do what is best for that person. It may not make them happy.

You will only be aiding and abetting your daughter's current lifestyle if you agree to this.