Job Opportunity
 

For those who went to Pope school and were told there's no future for a student of Pope Science, there is new hope. They were advised that job projections were terrible: with 1 position available in the world and growth projections hovering at zero, most people give up and go to Clown School or Beauty College.

But a few folks with a dream, the few who didn't give up, who believe that they can do anything, can be anything they want to be, are gearing up for what may be the biggest job search since 2005.

There are typically tens of applications for the position of Pope. Because of the stagnant economy and stalled high unemployment rates, that number is projected to rise to dozens of applications. Relocation to Vatican City is not expected to hinder the number of applicants: these days people go where the jobs are. It's a mobile economy, and being Pope has changed with the times.

Among the qualifications that are expected in the new age of Popeism are: photoshop skills, social media, HTML, customer service skills, ability to supervise a large staff, fluent in Latin, knowledge of safety requirements, and exceptional organizational skills. A background in management is helpful, but not required. A degree from an accredited Pope school is also required, but applicants with 5 or more years experience may be considered.

The candidate for Pope must be open to extensive travel; the Pope will be responsible for all regional directors and in-house managers.

Please send a current copy of your resume to:

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI
Vatican City State, 00120
Italy


Include at least three professional references. Applications without a cover letter will not be considered.

I was thinking of having a bet on the first black Pope.
I know the odds must be good.

But that's what they want me to do, so they can take my money and laugh.
I'm keeping my £24 (ref in another thread, my winnings from a £3 bet.)
I would say they can stuff the bet up their arse... but that sounds like it might be quite fun under the right circumstances.

PS if the next Pope is black, don't expect me back for a while. I'll be mourning my potential winnings.

IM: :D

Males only need apply.

I had a friend text me this morning asking me what I think it means.

If I had to guess, I'd guess it means the same thing as when a politician suddenly resigns.

Damn, Infi, I would make a great pope but I've only got 3 years of OTJ.
:(

It never hurts to apply. Sell yourself. Use ACTION words. Think of the interview experience.

And all those other things they say to job-seekers.

What's the use? There are probably going to be several other applicants with more experience.:sniff:

But you got style, kid, you got class. You got moxie. You're the Real McCoy. And how! Get all dolled up and apply!

OK.

Umm, can I borrow your mitre?

Sure!

To spend more time with his family;)

(less time with the wife/husband of another family(officially))

He is probably just dieing and God isn't helping I'm betting he is still pissed at the Nazis for killing bunch of his favorite kids.

Dear God,

I am applying for the position of pope. As a lifelong female and atheist, I feel I can lead the church in a whole new direction more inkeeping with the current market. As you will see from my resume, in addition to the leadership skills essential for this position, i have a proven consistency and unwaivering belief that I know will bring strength and hope to those who are questioning.

smooches,

monster


1970-2012 Atheist, good person
2012 Suffered Cryptogenic Ischemic stroke
2013 Still a fucking atheist

reference:

*Flying Spaghetti Monster
*Infinite Monkey
*monster

Guy from Ghana is the front runner, wonder if that controversy will overshadow the controversy of resigning :eyebrow:

Interesting fellow:

Dear Monster,

Thank you for your resume and interest in this position. There are a very tiny handful of candidates applying for this job who have qualifications at least as dubious as yours. You mentioned that you recently suffered a Cryptogenic Ischemic stroke, no doubt you are aware of our faith's fondness for crypts and the book of Genesis, we are very impressed at how you managed to work those two things together, however we are really looking for someone who can suffer the little children, if you get my drift, as such we regretfully have to decline your offer to take on the role of Pope.

We wish you luck in your further atheistic endeavors.

Sincerely,

God, p.p. St. Peter

Dear God,

I do suffer the little children. But I swear to FSM if there's one more snow day for no sodding reason whatsoever, my suffering will end.

p.s. will I get employee discount on communion whine?

They'll overcharge you, Monster. They use cheap wine.

that's ok, i'll charge it before i change to my papal name. I'm thinking Pope Onarope?

hmmmmm.... papal.....paypal......coincidence?

Pope Indapizza

Pope Fred

The Artist Formerly known as Pope.

The Vatican bank...

Pope

Pope Daddy

Popey

P. Diddy

Popeadiddypop

popealope

????

Pope Diddy Paddy Power!

Poples who need Poples

pope D'Mapantis

Pope leHair :D

So Cardinal Scola is in the hunt.. I'd like everyone to say Pope Scola three times fast cuz all the soda cans are red white and blue ones...

Recycling this from last time...

Thanks folks, I'll be here for eternity, unless I retire, try the flesh and blood of your saviour.

How I fell for that, I'll never know. It's one of those mysteries...

and now a word from our sponsor,

Popeil's Pocket Papacy!