Life's Lessons
 

Always wear clothes when jump starting a car:right:

The wet bird never flies at night.

^ what the

In Philly they will ticket you for being parked and not having an up-to-date inspection sticker. Fuckers

^ A old primary saying derrived from biblical scripture referring to the cosmic unbalance experienced by both humans and birds in an aura of wetness. The shared self interprentence is lost by the swelling darkness of night, and an uncontrolable urge of wisdom not to fly till dawn arrives.

pssssst...the blue dog flies at midnight.

From a Jackie Vernon comedy routine.

based upon what i observed when a wet person lets the jumper cables hit their leg

The hungry rabbit jumps.

Don't poke the bear

Your gut told you the truth 2 months ago.

Don't sleep in the subway.

when exerting force on a wrench, imagine where your knuckles will be a tenth of a second after the bolt wrings off.

protip--do this before the bolt wrings off.

Never bang the wrench with a hammer.

Get a longer wrench. Get a big long tube and slide it over the end of the wrench to extend the leverage.

No sudden jolts. Steady, even force is what does the job.

cheater.

spoken like a true impact wrench virgin.

:p:

Impact is more effective and safer than more strain.

Um . . . don't fry bacon when you're naked?

Impact can mess up the ratcheting mechanism in the wrench. But it's OK. Just smack the wrench from a few different angles and it will loosen up and turn again.

If it has a ratcheting mechanism it's not a wrench, it's some kind of ratchet.:p:

Never use the ratchet drive as a hammer. Unless you like buying new ratchet drives.

Or are out of hammers

Better to buy a hammer. They're cheaper than ratchet drives.

and rocks are cheaper than hammers... Sometimes you have to go to war with the ratchet you have instead of the ratchet you wish you had.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything begins to resemble a nail.

Didn't someone here say something about not shoving things up your ass unless they have a part that is too wide to go in?

I did and I called it a rule of thumb


and nobody got it

how do you know no one got it?

nobody said LOL

I almost did a LOL part deux smilie.

I can't find the post. if you could link it, I'll rectify the situation

You made thumbody get a heart on.

lots of people got it, many commented with similarly droll humor.

JuancoRocks did actually "lol" but he was speaking smiley when he did it.
Here ya go:

and you were quoted by:
and
and
and
and this was the post that launched a thousand dozen or so replies

people just don't like me or my sense of humor

Don't fret. It's not your humor. It's a personal thing

I feel your pain. I got orphaned on this.

I think its more your beady eyes and evil aura.

Who? Me or UT? I'll admit to the evil aura but me eyes ain't beady.:rollanim:

They are crazy, though. Yes, I have Crazy Eyes®

They scare me!!!! But, most of the women of the cellar scare me too.

UT of course. that's why I quoted his post...

you though? we're just out to get you. thats all.

Oh i know. I was just messin'

:)