Punchlines!
 

Why are there no jokes about Jonestown? The Punchline is too long.


This is a thread to post ONLY the punchline of a joke (or multiple jokes) After a suitable length of time, we'll create a list and see how many of us know the joke leading up to the punchlines.

I'll start with a few old standbys:

1) A pig that special, you don't want to eat all at once.

2) Rectum? Damn near killed him.

3) Probably not the same Elephant.

5) Hey buddy, what's with the long face.

6) The snail says "what the fuck you do that for?"

7) The bartender says "What's this, some kind of a joke?"

8. The mouse says "take it all, bitch".

9) Actually, it's just vanilla ice cream.

10) Do you think I should have said "DiMaggio?"

11) Ahhh, Goddamned lousy rain.

12. ...and asked for a beer and a mop.

13. And that's not my finger.

14. Wanders around the house all night wondering if there is a dog.

15. Long time no see.

16. Paint my house.

17. The bear looks at his paws and says, "Ive always had these"

18. "Well, ain't that nice!"

19. Bofus?

20. The Aristocrats!

21. Moo!

22-- "Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

23. He was arrested for rustling.

24. Where's that woman with the toothache?

25. Peace in the Middle East it is.

26. ...and that's when the fight started.

27. So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

28) The bear taps the man on the shoulder and says "you're not here for the hunting are you?"

29) ..I"m positive.

30) Then I slamed into R for race!

31) The Chinese man jumps out and yells, "Supplies!"

32) "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

33) Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

34) I'll give it a try but I don't want you to hit me on the head with a bottle.

35) OK, I'm gonna show you this one more time.

36. He said you're going to die.

37. Death by bunga-bunga!!!

38. "Relax. You're two tents."

39. Silly rabbi, kicks are for trids

40. 'cause 7-8-9

41. 'cause she's married to Mr. Softy

42. Not in my car you won't

43. They both have boy's pants, half off

44. But instead I said "you bitch, you ruined my life"

(epic thread is epic. i can't wait. great idea footer)

45) Nope just shave and cut hair
46) Yah but this one's eating my popcorn!
47) Just show him your badge!

48. Because he was stapled to the chicken.

49. The Hell you're not!
49a. The Hell you ain't!

50. See that patch of hair with the squiggle? Thats a vagina. The rest of it its a cunt.

51. I'm going as fast as I can, mom!

52. a. Russle
b. Bob
c. Matt
d. Art
53. Not Susie.

52. e Curt and Rod

52f. Stu

52.g Warren
52.h Cliff
52.i Philippe Faloppe


Ah, this thread is like meeting old friends.

Fuckin' A.

53--Big fingers.

54. If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder

55-- and then I fell off my perch.

56. ... she sold her car for gas money.

57. "No, I think I'll just wait for the police."

58. She moved.

59. Really? How often do I have to do this?

60. hmmm.... must be your feet!

Bad Move, Clod. Now you have to specify which joke lead to that. ;)

She did, number 61. Come to class.

62. Here's your fucking canoe, assholes!

63--a stick.

64--dung.

65. Swiss Shit!

66. Elephino.

67. Rats! Big motherfuckers, with cocks this long!!

68. Shut up and eat your cornflakes.

69. Good. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.

70. It's not unusual.

71. Bellybutton.

WANTED GOOD WOMAN
Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms, and clean fish. Must have boat and motor.

72) PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT AND MOTOR.

73. A rooster clucks defiance.

73. Alright, he's dead, now what?

74. She wasn't THAT Bad.

75. See how good Vern looks since he quit drinking!

Waiter, "I think it is the breast stroke, Sir."

77. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her.

78. Hypothermia.

79. I'm a tough little bastard, but i had to take my coat off for that one.

80. I'm over here, Dad.

81. That's the stick shift, dear.

82 (?) ... And the bartender says, "Get out."

83
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"