I'm pregnant, apparently
 

And so are a good number of you. Congratulations. Apparently pregnancy now begins on the first day of your period. At least in Arizona. I guess after ovulation, if you pee on a stick and it's negative, then you're not pregnant until the first day of your next period. So premenopausal women are pregnant at least 50% of the time.

Schroedinger's Fetus?

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com...12/04/13/37993

Congratulations maybe

So does MANstration count ??

Shush, Zippy, in a few more years we'll be legally able to use this:

Call me maybe?

That's teh funneh.

That's teh fucked up.

I'm a mass murderer. I've suggested masturbating into a cup and sending it to Gov. Brewer. That way I can only be charged with abandonment. lol

Uh... wat? So like... can I have monthly baby showers for free shit then?

You bet! Also, it seems to me that all women below age 60 or so would permanently qualify for TANF, WIC, and, of course, Medicaid. I'm sure Rush Limbaugh will be on it right away. :rolleyes:

Sweet, if I could get WIC, husband and I could afford milk!


I mean, technically the gov't pays for everything we do anyway... but that's cause he works for 'em. ;)

But if you got knocked up just so you could get on WIC, then you'd already have all the milk you wanted. Damn you, Catch 22!

No see, I'm ALREADY knocked up... until after I ovulate and my test is negative.. so that's a solid few weeks where I could pick up my WIC checks and buy milk. :)

IT'S FOOLPROOF I TELL YOU.

What we need now is for an intrepid Cellar lady to journey down to Arizona and put in her claim for government benefits based on her pregnancy as declared by the Aridzonker State Legislature. Our volunteer test case shouldn't even need a positive pee stick never mind a document from a medical professional, since by Arizona law, to be female is to be pregnant. QED, right?

If no one else wants to do it, I can be over the Arizona state line in 20 minutes and in another 20 be sitting in the nearest office of Arizona Health and Human Services. Tempting... :sadsperm::female:

I'd love for someone to do that.

With media in tow, of course.

Better, I'd love for every adult woman in Arizona to do it.

That sort of civil disobedience which isn't even disobedient. Kind of like a satirical hyper-obedience, or something.

I have just sent an e-mail to the Arizona Department of Social Services. The part about being homeless in Kayenta is a small white lie, but I COULD be homeless there easily enough. One time I was down on the rez and thought I'd camped on BLM land. Wrong! I had inadvertantly camped on the edge of one of the tribal grazing areas. A Navajo lady with a flock of sheep showed up the next morning to look me over and I apologized for my mistake. She just waved me off and told me no one exactly owns the land down there, although clans will usually graze their animals in the same areas every year. Since I wasn't trying to graze sheep and must have appeared harmless enough, she told me to come back any time I wanted. It's nice out here, isn't it, she said. I had to agree. I like the Navajo alot. A white rancher would have probably turned me in for tresspassing or something.

OK, so here's my e-mail:

I am a homeless woman currently camped in the Kayenta vicinity. Today I was informed that the Arizona State Legislature has passed a law stating that a woman is considered pregnant two weeks before her first missed period. Thus, I find myself in the position of being a single pregnant woman with a disability and with no current means of caring for myself and my unborn child as legislated by our law makers. Can you please refer me to an agency which would assist me in applying for programs such as TANF, WIC, and Medicaid? I am deeply concerned for the well being of my unborn child. I also do not wish to break any child endangerment laws due to my lack of resources to assist me through this unplanned pregnancy. Although my camp is located within the Navajo Nation, I am not a Native American and do not qualify for assistance through any Indian Health Agency. I have no access to a phone, so I am sending this e-mail via a terminal at the public library. Please tell me what I should do from now. If you need me to take a drug test just let me know when and where and I will gladly comply with this and all other pertinent Arizona laws. Thanking you in advance - Ms. SamIam

I'll post any reply I may get from the good people at Arizona Social Services and Child Protection. ;)

:D


Oh this should so go viral.

Well, that was quick! I got my reply this morning:

Hey, Marcos! You be my man! What's an undocumented individual such as yourself doing in Arizona? Same thing as me, probably - causing trouble.

So, I have an aquaintance who is a reporter for the Durango Herald. I'm thinking of calling him and asking him if he would like to accompany me to my appointment in Kayenta. Could be interesting. What do you all think? :evil2:

I think you could wind up on 60 Minutes, as one of the good guys!

They put forth a lot of talk and now we get to see if they walk the walk too. I'm definitely going to be watching out for this one.

It looks to me as though the Arizona Department of Social Services
has already shown that it walks the walk.

No questions or judgments...
Specific organizations for specific needs, addresses, phones, day/time of intake,
etc. all provided in one email within 24 hours, and ending
with person's name, phone, and an offer of additional help if needed.

That response seems like a pretty efficient government service.
Now, each of the referred agencies get to show their metal.

In the meantime, good on the Arizona Department of Social Services :thumb:

I assumed it was an automated response, triggered by set words.
I get similarly helpful answers from eBay.

Not about my pregnancy though.

It may have been a copy-and-paste reply depending on what she asked for. I did emails for my last job and had a zillion templates for the most regularly asked questions and then just stitched them together as needed...

:lol:

It does occur to me that messing too much with the system - especially embarrassing a bureaucrat - might endanger your existing social support and/or your PASS plan.

Or maybe not. Your call.

I'm pretty sure it was automated, since Winslow is actually one hell of a trek for a homeless, pregnant, disabled woman to make from Kayenta. There's surely a closer WIC office than Winslow. I do give Marcos brownie points though for being right on top of his e-mails. He must have read it and replied first thing he got into the office this morning.

That IS a bit of a problem. The system currently has me tucked into a slot as a Colorado resident who already receives the few crumbs of assistance Colorado throws at its disabled population - no doubt hoping that we will all crawl away and die soon.

I'd have to divest myself of Colorado's clutches and give myself over to the tender mercies of the state of Arizona if I wanted to make a legal stand against the Arizona legislature.

On the other hand, I could make a quick hit and run on the Kayenta office just to see how the folks there would respond. I'm sure a good time would be had by all, especially if I had a little voice activated tape recorder in my pocket. They'd have a real hard time finding me afterward with an address like "10 miles down the road from the Chinle Chapter house, then 2 miles west up the wash toward Jim Chee's hogan. Follow the path from there up to the ridge where Old Lady Begay of the Born to Water Clan grazes her sheep." They wouldn't need to know my real name or SSN either, since it would only be a single guerilla strike.

I'll need to plot a strategy for sure. The person I really need is that brat Cicero. I have e-mailed her with an invitation to conduct some civil obediance - it's right up her ally, but she's a hard gal to pin down these days. I don't suppose anyone here has been in touch with her recently?