New Olympic proposals
 

The other day I was thinking, they have different kinds of swim races even though the freestyle is the fastest, but in running they only have like the one kind of running. They should have 100 meter running backwards, 100 meter with no arms, etc.

Although they do have jumping over things. So they should have swimming over things too. Like here's where the pool gets shallow in the middle.

Also I would like a Decathlon where they do all the events at once.

Also they should take things from the Strongman competition, where they have to haul a big heavy chain or put big rocks on top of pillars, there should be more of that. They already have the hammer throw so tell me it would not be great if there was a thing where they had to tow a big heavy truck behind them while racing.

I have not been drinking tonight so these are legitimate ideas.

:)

Well, the walking event is kind of a stylised form of running.

How about real-life stuff like running while carrying a briefcase and a laptop?

Or bring back some of the events from the first 50 years of the modern Olympics, like sculpture, poetry composition, town planning or poodle trimming?

...or sleeping without snoring... last one to wake up wins

Swimming in a business suit

Kayaking drunk

Driving. All kinds of driving competitions, except for speed.

How about having the ghetto olympics? High jump over a chain link fence. 100 M dash away from pit bulls or cops. Shooting contests with gangsta guns. Marathon through a busy city without the streets being closed to traffic or pedestrians. You know, things like that.

I may have said this before, but I'd like to change the Olympics so that you have to qualify in one sport, but then have to compete in a randomly chosen different sport.

Imagine the weightlifters trying gymnastics, the sprinters playing water polo, the swimmers doing shooting.

It'd be FUN.

Running in neck-high water.

Running while smoking a cigarette, must be consumed down to the butt by the finish line.

Crabwalk race.

OK they do have steeplechase, where you have to jump over something and into a puddle. Somebody probably came up with that on one of these kinds of threads.

I like this, and it should naturally be extended to relay. There could be two kinds of relay. One where each runner smokes down their butt and then uses it to light the next runner's butt. And another where they just exchange it, in usual relay fashion.

Walking, another good event, probably came from one of these threads.

The whole idea of corporate sponsorship, getting so controversial, I say we take it to the next level. Winston cigarette relay. Fiji Water swimming. Craftsman hammer throw. Frisbee discus. Biggus Discus!

Also, there are Summer and Winter Olympics but no Spring and Autumn Olympics. There's running with a light jacket on. Or hey - Arab Spring Olympics, where you run 800M with a Syrian sharpshooter trying to peg you from atop the torch tower.

I love it! This is just like the Biathlon, where they ski like mad and then have to drop down to one knee and get their breathing and shaking under control so they can squeeze off a shot with some accuracy. Lighting one butt off another is going to take some focus. You can't be sprinting while doing it.

Monster was positing the other day that they should go old school, i.e. naked.

What with all the stuff about fancy suits being an advantage, for swimmer and runners, maybe that woudl cut out some of the controversey.

Certainly would end all the "who has the hottest bod" discussion.;)

There should be a Beer Olympics segment too.

Shopping cart switch. Who can switch shopping carts the most times, while coming as close as possible to filling their own grocery list without deviating from the projected route? I left the building with the third cart today!

Track and Beer:

Beer Hurdles:
10 Lap Race. knock a hurdle over, you drink.


Beer High Jump.
bar starts at 5'. you can jump or drink a beer and advance to the next 4" increment. You must jump and clear the bar to win. If you knock the bar over, you can drink and try again. twice.

^^same rules for Beer Pole Vault


100 Meter Beer Dash:

Competitors start the race with a full Red Solo Cup™ full of Miller Lite™ beer. Sprint 100 yards, pour your beer into an empty cup at the finish line. repeat as many trips as it takes to fill the cup. Drink the full cup down to finish the race.

400 Meter Relay:

1st man starts with a beer, hands it to 2nd man who has his own beer. 2nd man carries both to the halfway point, pours his into an empty pitcher. 3rd man takes the pitcher and a beer, carries it to the anchor who pours the 3rd beer into the pitcher and carries it and his own full beer to the finish. He then pours his beer into the pitcher, which must be over the fill line.... then all 4 team members must help to drink the pitcher to end the race.


Kegstacking


moar

In fact it'd attract a whole new audience demographic! Ratings would soar!

Seriously, I'd like to see sports done by nationality ... Scots in tiny kilts worn traditionally ;), heaving cabers around; Russians and Finns in the altogether running in and out of saunas beating each other with birch sprigs and leaving the slowest competitor to the wolves ... Greeks running marathons and collapsing, to be revived by muses ... hmm, what else? I know - Frenchmen/women and Spaniards in wine-drinking and flamenco competitions - all naked, of course ...

Speaking as a musician I'm not sure why there aren't "Battles of the Bands".

Some European women could compete in armpit hair braiding.:bolt:

Naked? In Britain? In July? Are you mad?

Joggling.

Hmm, perhaps you're right, Dana. Wouldn't be much to see after all ... :p:

Why not add high-heels runs to the racing events?

Or Toddler Slalom, where you chase a sugar-fed toddler through a house and have to dodge Legos, action figures/dolls, pets, roller skates and such, with points awarded for agility, stamina and creative use of furniture. Points deducted for knocking things over, stepping on anything but floor or sofa cushion or falling down the stairs.

THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

Full Contact Jazzercise

Synchronized Ball Gargling

Speed Circumcision

The Long Hump

The problem with Olympic proposals is if she says, "No." you are completely dissed in front of the whole world. Much worse than that guy at the basketball game.

BEACH VOLLEYBALL

Who are they trying to kid ?
Beach volleyball is the current equivalent of TV wrestling in the 50's.


Huffington Post
7/29/12

Olympic Beach Volleyball: Bikinis Still Uniform Choice Despite London Weather (PHOTOS)

What? Are you saying they aren't serious athletes doing their very best to win, regardless of the dog and pony show going on around them?

Exactly... two players can not defend the entire court without a
gentleman's agreement about how the returns are to be played.

When one player is up for a block, the other player supposedly
is defending the entire rest of the court.... Yeah sure.
Even a high school kid could dink and spike to un-defended areas all day long,
and these "athletes in bikinis" could not defend against it.

If this "sport" had not started in the US, it would have never made it to the Olympics.
I think the dog and pony show going on around them is
what it's really all about... women in bikinis playing in the sand !

:p:

It's official...

Attachment 39881

But they are not allowed to play in wet T-shirts. :(

Men play beach volleyball too.
Am hoping to see you win Gold in Brazil for your country. It's piss-easy after all.
Tcha.
I feel the same way about the worldwide spread of football, and rugby, and cricket, and tennis, and badminton, and golf....

Catch the fashion disaster that was Australia yesterday? Sports bra/bikini over their shirts. The Americans actually looked classy with their long sleeve tees.

I suppose some boys could be fun to watch... but in "training pants" ? :eek:

Now, if the Olympics were to have events in Yo-Yo, top wars, marbles,
kite wars, etc. there would be some real contests. ;)

The Chinese would dominate all that.

How about this

Horseshit
I've played 2 on 2 volleyball, although grass not sand. With 2 big aggressive players at the net, the other guy and I did a pretty good job of covering our backfields... and I'm a far from an athlete as possible.
Then why don't these "high school kids" do that? you know, free trip to the Olympics and all.
You've made some pretty serious accusations here, which you have absolutely no proof of.
Apparently you can't take your eyes of the jiggly bits long enough to watch the play, but feel free to denigrate real athletes competing at Olympic level.
Sad.

No proof, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn the other night. :rolleyes:
.

So you were watching porn and didn't see the Olympics at all. Dat splain it.

Well, today I watched some real athletes... women's water polo.

First Spain over China, then the US lead the entire match
to a very close finish, and won over Hungary by a single goal.
Amazing skills and endurance on all four teams.

Then NBC went back to it's uber-coverage of beach volleyball,
and I turned it off... as a non-event.
.

OMG :eek: A few minutes ago, NBC had two talking heads
telling stories about the early days of beach volleyball.

Now, NBC is showing "nighttime beach volleyball"
Oh the humanity... Think of the children.

And all this comes after the latest iteration of synchronized swimming... synchronized diving.
Next, countries will start cloning diver-twins to get an extra tenth of a point from the judges,
and teaching them how to :D as they enter the water without a splash.
.

Synchronized swimming is every bit as difficult as water polo, maybe more so.
Both teams are incredible athletes.

But it's an exhibition, not a competition.

I find that I get very frustrated with judged competitions of any kind.

I think they save good scores for the end in gymnastics, and figure skating.

I only really enjoy the sports where time or distance or score .. actual metrics... are the only judges.

I agree Spex.

I'll start naming athletes from water polo...like Maggie Steffens
Which athletes will xoB name from synchronized swimming... Ester Williams ?

;)

I'd be all for that game, Zip. But I'd have to Anglicise it (track and qwop?! shotput derp?!)
I'll work on it and let you know.

Jim - does that include boxing?

ETA have looked up track & qwop & shotput derp now :)
Still have to amend the drinking game to cut out things like adverts though!

Who the fuck is Maggie Steffens?
Never mind, just keep sitting there criticizing people you couldn't hold a fucking candle to.

I agree with Jim in that I prefer clear cut results (except for the doping), to the subjective judging, But I have immense respect for all of these kids who have put the hard work and dedication into their efforts.

Google is your friend. :cool:

If she was famous I wouldn't need Google.

:D

Aw, go ahead and try it just this one time ;)