Help Me Find a New Career
 

Although of course joke submissions are welcome, I'm slightly serious here.

If I were to be in a position to completely change careers, and do anything I want, what might you suggest I do? Given everything you know, or think you know, about me, what can you see me happily employed doing?

My mind wanders down the path of Park Ranger from time to time (see what I did there?) but is it feasible?

I really might make a move in the future. Help me figure out what to be when I grow up!

Poo flinger in the local monkey house

NEW career, spexx, not the same old career. ;)

Well, contemplating a completely new career, a change in direction, is exhilarating. You can reflect on what values drive you, what goals those values might engender, and then what interests/directions you could go to fulfill some of those goals and be true to those values. You mention Park Ranger as something that floats across your mind ... do you value the environment? Preservation of wilderness? An outdoor life? Ecology? Animal welfare?

If I'm way off the mark, you do know what's 'on the mark'. I'm sorry I don't know you well and can't be very accurate in what I suggest, but it's an energizing thing to contemplate (bit of an oxymoron: energizing contemplation :p:).

So ... what core values would you want to live out in a new career?

Librarian - You could still help the college yout's, but you'd be exposed to more of the ones who are trying to learn, rather than the ones scrounging for money. On the other hand, I can see you perhaps being a little too raucous and off-color for your presumably stodgy coworkers.

Speaking for many of us dwellars, I'm sure there are quite a few of us who'd be more than delighted to offer you a new position. The question is, how would you be able to choose? I'm guessing the lesser of many evils.

Seriously, despite your lotsa posting, we really don't know too much about you.

Would you like to be a Forest Ranger? a Long Shorewoman? I bet you might like to own a diner. Or be a movie theater usherette. Continuity checker for feature films.

Or...

Check this shiznit out, homegrrrrl: Buckeye Brewski in da house!

https://brewmagic.com/brew-magic-v350ms-system

Catering. You could be a party planner and caterer

caterwauling. You could be in charge of wauling all the caterers.

I think you're emminently suited to hand out parenting advice.

Writer of satire. You'd be great!

The world always needs folks who specialize in scrotums.

I mean, you can go many different directions with that kind of knowledge.

H.mmmmm....I do like the librarian idea but in Ohio they have really gutted the funding and librarians are now exposed to all sorts of incredibly rude and demanding and obnoxious behavior PLUS sometimes the students have sex in the stacks...so there's that.

I think I know a little about infini...she likes smart, dedicated people, people who want to manage the work and not the people. How about research assist? Or assist with a book? Would you like to work alone or with others but with major caveats such as the Others must be Decent and Well Educated and Not Fuck Around with Others' Lives?

I once thought working at the museum would be cool until I met a woman who worked there and she said all the same old bullshit goes on there, too.

How about erotic phone solicitor?

Infi, you should write for SNL.

Panel beater endorser.

IM, you work at a college. Walk down the hall and take some interest and personality tests.

A single byte of data is not a full meal, but many years ago that's what I did. It's how I got into programming.

Whichever path you choose to do, be sure to use the talent you have
with words/ideas and spur-of-the-moment associations... a la this

Aw shucks, thanks Lamp, but I'm thinking it's not really a marketable skill. :)

We're always looking for talent!

Pam

Park Ranger. I like that idea. I would love to do that too, if I were younger and tougher.

I know you can hold your own against woodland creatures and your nose against nasty bathrooms. Nasty bathrooms can't be worse than nasty coworkers.

Ain't that the truth?

Sigh...I look around with different ideas, different programs available at schools...I'm completely and hopelessly lost.

If I thought it would really happen I'd ask Gawd for a sign... :o

Heh.

Tha's true, lamplighter. Not impossible, but heroically difficult.

This one time, at band camp (not really band camp, scout camp actually, but band camp sounds funnier) a nighttime trip to the kybo resulted in one of the scout's maglites being dropped into the pit.

Shit.

No, really. Shit.

Ironically, the light had tumbled as it dropped and landed vertically, shining straight up. You know how you're not supposed to shine a light directly in your eyes? That's true for all your eyes. Anyhow, this pit was pretty full, and the mound onto which it stuck was high, high enough to tempt us to fashion a rigid wire noose for an emergency extraction. One of the other dads got that shitty assignment, and the light was rescued.

Now I know it's not worth it.

I've asked the Uni for a sign before with the caveat that it be really freakin' obvious as I am a dark crayon and you know what? I've always gotten one (answer, that is) and you will, too. Just ask for it to be OBVIOUS as sometimes the Universe is too subtle for me. :)

Every time I ask for a sign someone runs into my car. :(

There's my sign: shut up and like it.

No....I respectfully disagree. I think there is another message there...
keep asking and if you get run into again, we'll have a serious pow wow about you becoming some sort of mechanic... :driving:

Tell me how weird either of these things sound:

Heavy equipment operator

Medical coding

I like both of them for you because you can kind of be in your own world with both those jobs. I'd imagine you'd have little interaction with people as a medical coder and those people are in need in this area. SCC has (or used to have) an AS in Medical Records.

I think you'd have fun operating a wrecking ball

That would be fun as hell!

I can actually see you being really good as a site manager for a general contractor. Telling the tile guys that being late is unacceptable, and they'll be finishing after dark without overtime pay, and having them tip their hats and meekly reply, "ma'am."

Wow, I'm a big wimp in real life. If backed into a corner I'm fierce as hell, but for most stuff I'm a big giant doormat. ;)

Don't tell foot and ut I might lose my position with the jamaicans, mon.

Hey, can I get a job as a doormat?

wrong!

get a job at a Body Shop!

here's a sign for you

Attachment 39588

I no know whut it mean......

You could probably sign junkies in to rehab pretty good.

I have no doubt that you'd manage business casual much better than I am, at least.

Check your state's employment assistance office's listings for jobs. My experience of Pennsylvania's are that they are unusual, sometimes in niche markets or businesses seeking to develop new markets. It's not all sales and heavy lifting kinds of jobs, either.

While he's doing some sort of driving job now, sycamore used to work as a long-term temp in a number of different office contexts. All kinds of experience, lots of flexibility, and usually full-time hours. Worth a shot. I had put out feelers to a company specializing in nut-wrangling temps just before I got my tender for hire from the rehab.

Hmm, you might make a fair domestic servant. Though, you are getting rather old

I think she'll need to be domesticated some, first.

Being a maid has a really limited lifespan. Butlers, however, seem to retain their positions well into their dotage, if Masterpiece Theater is art imitating life.

There should be more female butlers.

This could be the opportunity you are looking for.

Maids mature into housekeepers, from where they boss about the new maids.

Which may make your experience in student finance useful.

I know that in PA at least they pay female crane operators especially well because they need females to make equality quotas, plus they train you.

I'm still considering heavy equipment operation, and forestry.

Also up for consideration: dog groomer, lobster boat inspector, chicken sexer.

Actually really only dog groomer or lobster boat inspector. I'd settle for chicken boat inspector.

I ran into an old cow orker on Saturday: she retired before I left my last job. She was telling me about a woman who was nearing fifty and went to HC (a college that centers around agriculture and forestry, and stuffs) and now lives on an island off of Maine, and works in a restaurant and the govt employs her to inspect lobster boats too.

Yeah, I could do that. Would just need a warm body to go with me for those cold Maine winter nights. ;)

Medical coding is still on my list too.

For the inevitable, I mean, um...er IN CASE OF dislocation of my job. ;)

You could totally be a lobster boat inspector.

"Yup, that's a lobster boat."

"How do you know that's a chicken boat?"

"It's got wings, doesn't it?"

What? Chicken butt!

Hahahahahah! I was telling my family this story on Easter sunday...my sis in law was like...what are you looking for? "Rubber band around claw? Check!"

Then we got into people trying to let un-rubber banded lobster to be accepted. I was like "NO! You let one claw get through..."

There was more to it, but we laughed a lot. Then my mom decided I'd be better suited for inspecting chicken boats since I don't eat crustaceans. I could drive around farms on a golf cart: Chicken? Check! Another chicken...check.

You probably had to be there. ;)

I'm about ready to get my CDL. I could be all about hauling the gravel.

I almost got my CDL so I could work at the wastewater treatment plant.

I took at look at the test booklet and decided to bag it. There is so much big truck technical crap that I didn't want to learn, plus finding a truck to learn on.

Instead I will be a truck driver of men's souls...

CDL?

I drove a tractor one summer. Does that count? Cute little Farmall Cub. At the time, I thought it was a real tractor.

Just rent a Class-A RV for a few days, same diff. ;)

In HS and college, at the produce farm, I was able to run the forklift up a just wide enough ramp, make a 90 degree turn (with no wiggle room) into a freezer, retrieve a giant crate of corn. Lower enough to get it back through the door, then back down the ramp, move over to the giant crate in the market, get under that door, raise the crate, tell customers to back up for five fucking seconds this corn didn't come out of the field at any different time the other corn did it was just sitting in the freezer...slowly tilt the crate so that the new corn was dumped (read:placed ever so gently) onto the giant customer crate so they could keep pawing over the corn.

I knew of at least two guys who wrecked the forklift and broke the ramp.

I also drove the box van (like picture only it was really old, stick shift, holes in the floor) to a grocery in town to deliver loads of 5 dozen ear bags of corn. Tight squeeze. The grocery guy thought I was the most awesome chick on earth, as another couple guys tore corners off the roof of the market trying to get back there.

I'm goooooooooooooooooooooood.

Clearly you are in the wrong job. You were appreciated as a driver.

I was 17-21 years old!

You are not the only one with a plethora of diverse experience, Mr Artisan. ;)

I'm lousy with experience over here! :lol:

I'm reading this
I'm thinking this.

http://www.heyuguys.co.uk/images/201...wer-Loader.jpg

Sounds like a class 2 rating to me.


This ad for Alpaca ranching was in the sidebar on the weather page.

http://www.alpacainfo.com/#


Have to say, yeah, sounds like driving and stuff is your bag.

Driving was fun 25 years ago. Now, not so much. I'm as jaded with driving as I am with people. ;)

I really like Edward Forklifthands, there, though.

Actually though, my dad ran heavy equipment for years, and I've been on big old dozers and stuff with him. I really do have a knack for it, and good mechanical skills, and good eye-hand coordination. And no one can talk to you easily.

It's true that the roads are more crowded than they were 25 years ago. Too many people!

What?

Its loud dude! I hadn't thought of that advantage.

What?