He Killed A Rabid Mountain Lion With A Skillet
 

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived":

Rabid mountain lion in attack mode no match for Chino Valley man and his frying pan

Ok, he's "The Baddest Sumbitch Who Ever Lived", second only to "That Guy Who Killed A Grizzly Bear With His Bare Hands And A Stick".

Then we chopped it into pieces with a meat cleaver and danced about on its grave singing "Hallelujah"

It was only trying to be friendly.

now add a little Marsala glaze with wild mushrooms & chives ...

a 14 inch cast iron skillet is a big ass skillet. I have a 13 incher and I can barely lift it. mostly because the handle's too short, and I don't have any mountain lions to motivate me.

See, now, I was debating this about 20 years ago with some friends to pass the time during a boring day at work. I said that if you were trapped in a cage with a mountain lion, and all you had was a baseball bat, you could kill the lion. They thought the lion would win every time. I acknowledged that it wouldn't be easy, and that you would have to connect on the first swing, but that it was possible. I feel vindicated.

I wonder where those guys are now?

This is a great story.

I was thinking, glatt, hopefully it's a big cage. A circus cage would work, but a big pet crate cage...you wouldn't be able to swing!

Oh, absolutely. The cage size was a big part of the discussion until we agreed it was the same size as the room we were all sitting in. About 40 feet by 40 feet. We decided the mountain lion would be avoiding you and you would have to hunt the lion in the room.

See, that's great. I just imagine that conversation...fun!

huh. When I was 20 ish, we were camping, and we found some black bear spoor near camp. That night, when we started getting scared, I got my 24 oz claw hammer (same one I built that deck with) and put it near my sleeping bag. My friends thought I was nuts because I said if a bear attacked, me I would be caving it's head in instead of trying to outrun it.

Outrun a bear? Are you MAD?

Bear safety.


http://www.udap.com/safety.htm

(The More You Know)

I went rugged camping with friends (almost in the UP) and we tied the food in a tree and had a can of bear mace in the middle of camp.

I learned this later:

You don't have to outrun the bear. You only have to outrun your friends. The same is true of Zombies.

Well it's easy to outrun zombies! :D

No, no...those are the old and busted zombies (think Night of the Living Dead).

We got these new hotness zombies now-a-days (think 28 Days Later). These fuckers are fast.

Thats an important debate, though, Grav. The ones in 28 Days Later aren't dead - so are they zombies? Same with the zombie vampire things in I Am Legend. I can't think of many other examples of fast zombies outside video games.
I'm thinking of actually starting a thread with a poll. IS IT A ZOMBIE IF IT ISN'T UNDEAD?

Obviously frying pans need to be outlawed. How many more poor, defenseless rabid mountain lions have to die? ;)

The ones on Walking Dead seem to be fast only when they are in packs. Singly, they're slow M-Fers.

Yeah, I was on that whole Night of the Living and Dawn of the Dead thing.

I never thought zombies would be subject to advances due to technology. Even zombies are sacred no more. :(

Mother Nature Network
June 1, 2012

10 tips for surviving a zombie outbreak

Aren't they though?!
I'd be tempted to become Infected just so I could run like that.
Even with Robert Carlyle as bait I couldn't manage it otherwise.

Never underestimate the power of a good skillet. Kill a mountain lion and fry up some steaks after. Always keep your pan properly seasoned!

You can kill a bear with a skillet too.
At least if she's really a Native American boinking your father.

Or so says John Irving.

Tsk tsk - all this violence!

I'm going to start a support group for the Undead. They really seem
to need one. Last few weeks have been a real pr nightmare
for zombies (ie. Face-eating guy in Miami-zomibe in Maryland
and the Canuck pron star who recently ate another dude's torso....)

oooh! topical!

Yes, they are not zombies. Good point. That wacky bunch in "28 Days Later" was all virused up or something, and while some movies do get their zombies from/through a disease or some such, they do usually die before becoming too troublesome.

Fear not people, the Center or Disease Control has spoken.

No, really, they have ...

It started as a joke, and, as it turns out, includes a lot of really good pandemic preparedness information.

I got curious, and...yep.

*Rule 34 applies.


* - Link NSFW

A few weeks back I was BSing with a mate and we wondered how many hits google would get for Midget Zombie Porn.

936,000, if you're wondering.

"Midget Zombie Porn" narrows it to 19,500.

In both cases the first offering is a youtube clip of "gay interacial midget zombie porn".


There you go.

:thumb:

Learned everything he knows from Grandma:

Attachment 46456

Nancy Wake was a badass.