Hotel Sex
 

The couple next door were at it when we got back from dinner. Very loudly. I give her 8/10 for volume, 9/10 for alleged orgasm quantity, 11/10 for stamina and 2/10 for realism.

Now they are arguaing about shoe shopping.

Well that didn't take long. they yelled at each other a bit, called each other mean and now their at it again. But with less vigor.


....and it's over....unless they're moving it into the shower......

That's why I try to avoid hotels that charge by the hour.

three. more. times.

and twice with the arguments.

Neither very convincing

Thank the blessed FSM for earplugs.
I never sleep in a hotel without them.

Mum tried them when we had to share a room in Cardiff.
She thought she could just put them in and sleep well as a one-off, despite me suggesting she got used to them over a week or so.
Nope - straight in, no prep work.
They came out immediately. She said it felt like her head was going to explode.

That's not about sex in hotel rooms.
That's about me winning the game. Once again.

But I did start wearing them because of a housemate's noisy sex.
I shared with her on and off for five years and heard a variety of different performances.
I think she only started having real - or really good - orgasms with her last partner. She got a lot quieter and said less with him.

Yeah. I'm against hotel sex.

I'm against hotels in general.

Make sure you guys burn all your clothing before you get in the house. That sounds like a clearing house for bed bugs.

Sorry , sorry , we'll be more quiet next time

Sundae, there are a lot of different kinds of earplugs. The soft foam ones are really effective and completely comfortable. Not that you'll ever need to spend another night with your mum in a hotel in Cardiff ...

I usually use the same soft plastic variety that I use for shooting. They have a string attached to them, so no paranoia about the one that falls out and gets lost in the bedding.

I probably started with the foam ones.
I'm hardcore now - wax all the way, baby.

Perhaps I was to blame in trying to get my mother onto something I'd slowly built up a tolerance to. TBF I was doing it for her benefit - she far prefers sleeping in a bed with my Dad, but often decamps into the spare room because of his snoring. I thought we could kill two birds with one stone if she learned to enjoy earplugs. Too much too soon though.

Hotel sex is the best. It's nice not to have to wash the sheets. And there's always weird furniture configurations that demand experiments.

They are gone tonight. It was funny, but it got old fast.

That's always funny...unless of course you're really trying to sleep, and then not so much.

I completely agree. But when you're the one hearing the sex instead of having the sex it can be quite disturbing. As sexually open as I consider myself I found that being the eavesdropper can be blush inducing.

Many years back I took my now ex-husband to to bed and breakfast for Valentine's Day weekend. The facility was an older Victorian style home with antiques and thin walls. The couple next to our room was so loud and, um, forceful, the walls were thudding and the sounds were just amplified beyond belief. It was as if the couple were wearing microphone headsets attached to really good car stereo speakers. My ex and I just sat there mortified. I think I may have placed the blanket over my head and begged for the bad noises to stop.

The next morning in the narrow hallway of the home we of course ran right into the couple on our way down to breakfast. I averted my eyes so I wouldn't giggle.

There's a great scene in The Cooler with William H Macy, sleeping alone in his room night after night, hearing the people in the next room having loud sex. When he finally gets Maria Bello in his bed, they put on a very deliberately loud show for the neighbors. Deliberately banging the bed against the wall, etc. It's amusing.

Three words. Thin Wall Challenge.

So you put the tampon in before hotel sex...

In all the other cases, is it sex with no string attached?






:D Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

EWWWWWWWWWWW!

Although it does remind me of something.
I stayed overnight with one of my flings (years ago, when I had the energy) and while waiting for him to bring me a cup of tea in bed I started fiddling with something on his bedside table.

He appeared, tea in hand and said, "What are you doing with my earplugs?"
Revolted I dropped them and said "Ewww, I didn't think about it. That's been in your ear!"

To his credit he simply gave me an arch look.
Both of us remembered the night before.

This guy is a damn fool!!! OMG, I laughed so HARD at this silly fucker.

We commented loudly, but damn, we sould have just streamed sex music from Youtube and turned it UUUUUUPP. next time (hopefully never).

I can't do eardrops, earplugsa are never gonna happen. That was THE worst part of the MRI I had a couple of years ago.

But it's kind of hard with a 14yo who is old enough to know exactly what is happening and almost past the embarrassed stage and into the able to joke about it stage, but thankfully and yet omg what will she take away from this not able to tell that the woman is faking it badly.

Yeah, poor Hebe, that must have been weird.

You guys didn't use that as a teaching moment?

5th

Does that mean that you showed her how to fake it properly?

I think that was infi's job

That means she's been in the US too long.