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-   -   Questionable Headlines (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=27077)

Gravdigr 03-22-2012 03:45 PM
Questionable Headlines
 
4 Attachment(s)
There may be a thread like this, I was too lazy to look.

Anywho, I got a bunch of these in email, and thought I'd share. These make you wonder.

part 1

Gravdigr 03-22-2012 03:47 PM
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part 2

GunMaster357 03-22-2012 05:25 PM
Is missing a brain a required criteria to work for a paper?

infinite monkey 03-22-2012 05:29 PM
I don't know how many are real or not...don't care 'cause they're funny, but the best one I ever saw IRL was in the early 90s when I was working at the bar. The owner cut out a headline from our tiny local paper: Bush After a Quick Peace.

It hung there for years. I bet someone still has it.

Lamplighter 03-22-2012 05:29 PM
TASTELESS JOKE ALERT...

Once saw an ad for:

"Paraplegics' Dance Friday Night..."

infinite monkey 03-22-2012 05:32 PM
*snickers*

I have a book that's a compilation of Jay Leno Headline News (back when he was really funny) and there's a whole section on 'plunging buses.' Buses plunge, a LOT, apparently.

HungLikeJesus 03-23-2012 04:40 PM
You have to wonder how many of those were intentional.

Gravdigr 03-28-2012 04:01 PM
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Attachment 38099

No shit.

regular.joe 03-29-2012 10:15 AM
I LOLED.

regular.joe 03-29-2012 10:16 AM
I wonder if they had to hack a phone to get that information?

jimhelm 03-29-2012 10:57 AM
good shit

Gravdigr 03-30-2012 05:40 PM
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WITHF? (What In The Holy Fuck?)

"Glee-ful accident" my ass...:headshake

Attachment 38128

wolf 03-30-2012 05:45 PM
Yah. That Glee-ful accident looks pretty grim.

Gravdigr 04-05-2012 04:41 PM
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That're? Really?

Attachment 38198

wolf 04-05-2012 05:59 PM
That that're saved a whole half-space!

Gravdigr 04-08-2012 03:21 PM
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Unfortunate picture for the headline...

Attachment 38235

:cool:

BigV 04-09-2012 11:04 AM
Depends on what she wants to use it *for*.

Gravdigr 04-27-2012 11:24 AM
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In related news....ok that's a stretch but:

Attachment 38482

:lol2: Here's the story, if'n you be so inclined.

Gravdigr 05-05-2012 04:50 PM
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Yeah, it's been going around for a while, but, here it is again:

Attachment 38613

Gravdigr 06-16-2012 03:33 PM
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An oldie but a goodie...

Attachment 39117

Gravdigr 06-18-2012 03:02 PM
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Man-eating tacos???

Attachment 39141

DanaC 06-20-2012 08:49 AM
That last headline...wtf?

BigV 06-20-2012 01:07 PM
Insane. How about this one? Family members ejected by police from graduation ceremony for clapping and cheering for their graduate.



from the youtube comments:

Quote:
May 29, 2009 Atlanta, GA Last evening during the graduation ceremony of Maynard Jackson class of 2009, several family members of graduating seniors were ejected from the civic center for clapping and cheering their loved ones by officers of the Atlanta Police Department. Family members were told at the beginning of the ceremony not to clap until the entire graduating class names had been called. However, family members excited that their loved ones were graduating and overcome with emotion, chose to civilly disobey by clapping and self-removing themselves in some cases. In other cases, officers personally escorted them out of the event. One father expressed outrage by saying its a sad day when you come to a graduation that is filled with police and are asked to leave your own daughters graduation because you display excitement about moment. Police officers had no comment.

BigV 06-20-2012 01:13 PM
There are some seriously uptight administrators out there. Control freak much?

Quote:
Colston said she was told by an assistant principal, before graduation, that she could not wear the honor cord. She said she took her grandfather's advice and wore it under her gown. That way, "I would know it was there" and "I wouldn't be breaking any rules," she said.

Even though the cord was not visible, Bolden made her take it off and give it to her mother after he learned she was wearing it under her gown. Colston said when she got back to her seat-approximately 10 minutes before the ceremony began-security guards escorted her out of the building.
A student was ejected from her graduation ceremony for wearing a cord UNDER her gown. FFS. Under the gown? What if she was wearing a secret decoder ring she'd merely gotten from a box of cracker jacks or a crucifix on a necklace but hadn't been baptized? Ejected?

DanaC 06-20-2012 04:06 PM
wtf is an honor cord?

Undertoad 06-20-2012 04:31 PM
Fall 2000?

classicman 06-20-2012 10:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 816005)
wtf is an honor cord?
Quote:
KANSAS -- Completing course work may not be enough to attend graduation ceremonies at Schlagle High School in Kansas City.

Mary Colston was ejected from her graduation ceremony in May after a dispute with administrators over an honor cord she was wearing that signified her membership in Quill and Scroll, the national honor society for student journalists.

Colston said school officials told her she could not wear the cord because only students who were members of the National Honor Society are allowed to wear their cords. Colston said Schlagle principal Doug Bolden told her it was tradition. Colston said she does not believe him.

"I got letters sent to me from parents of previous graduates that said, 'Hey, I have a picture of my son or daughter wearing that award at graduation shaking [Bolden's] hand,'" Colston said. "So you know that's not true."

Bolden did not return calls made to his office by the Report.

Colston said she was told by an assistant principal, before graduation, that she could not wear the honor cord. She said she took her grandfather's advice and wore it under her gown. That way, "I would know it was there" and "I wouldn't be breaking any rules," she said.

Even though the cord was not visible, Bolden made her take it off and give it to her mother after he learned she was wearing it under her gown. Colston said when she got back to her seat-approximately 10 minutes before the ceremony began-security guards escorted her out of the building.

"I worked really hard throughout high school for that," Colston said. "My family was just really really proud of what I had done. I worked so hard for it, and I just couldn't believe that it had been taken away so easily."

School district superintendent Ray Daniels said in a statement that the honor cord policy will be reviewed before next year's ceremony to make sure "all students are honored for their academic accomplishments."

Colston, who said she wanted to be a writer since she was four years old, plans to attend a community college in the fall.

Colston's membership in Quill and Scroll is based on both academic and journalistic achievement.

Although Bolden threatened to withhold Colston's diploma for a year, a district representative delivered it to her the following day.

Cock!

xoxoxoBruce 06-20-2012 11:35 PM
Were I her father, I'd hope for a Texas Grand Jury.

DanaC 06-21-2012 04:51 AM
Ta muchly!

I went and wiki'd some more. A lot of them seem to be international, but started in America. It's not something I've ever come across m'self.

Undertoad 06-21-2012 06:09 AM
Fall 2000?

I blame Clinton.

BigV 06-21-2012 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 816098)
Fall 2000?

I blame Clinton.
Because it was under the gown, right? :eyebrow:

ZenGum 06-22-2012 06:51 AM
Topless feminist disrupts psychic pig's feeding time

DanaC 06-22-2012 06:55 AM
It's not psychic.

BigV 06-22-2012 04:50 PM
what about psy-chic?

DanaC 06-22-2012 05:37 PM
I think it may be someone's sidekick, if that helps any?

Gravdigr 06-27-2012 05:42 PM
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Attachment 39278

Gravdigr 07-08-2012 01:57 PM
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:lol2:

Attachment 39474

classicman 07-08-2012 11:40 PM
"Pumping ferociously???"
Bwahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa

Gravdigr 07-13-2012 02:38 PM
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Attachment 39607

story here.

BigV 07-13-2012 07:47 PM
Excellent story.

Gravdigr 07-15-2012 03:01 PM
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Attachment 39653

DanaC 07-16-2012 05:49 AM
Hahaha. I like that.

Ibby 07-16-2012 02:58 PM
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Attachment 39668

Flint 07-16-2012 11:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 816281)
You have GOT to be shitting me. That is probably the best actual headline, ever. Life is good.

classicman 07-17-2012 10:38 AM
Man with world's largest penis frisked by TSA at Calif. airport
Quote:
"I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time. One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.'"
When a pat-down led to suspicion that Falcon might be carrying a foreign object in his pants, he was led through X-ray body scanners and a metal detector.
A puzzled TSA agent asked him if he had "some sort of growth." Falcon, amused, said no. But he told The Huffiington Post that well, he does have a growth.
Falcon said that after TSA officials had confirmed that the "package" was a only a natural appendage, they appeared to interpret it as a new kind of biological threat. He tells how the young security guard who gave him a pat down appeared intimidated, taking extra care to pat gingerly around his prominence. Falcon told the TSA official, "It's my d**k." He said: "He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [it] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing."
Read more:

Gravdigr 07-17-2012 12:35 PM
:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:
:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:

Gravdigr 07-17-2012 12:38 PM
Reminded me of this:

glatt 07-17-2012 12:44 PM
strapped?

I'm honestly glad I don't have to strap anything. That would be a nuisance.

Ibby 07-17-2012 02:47 PM
http://jcrue.files.wordpress.com/201...rek_smalls.jpg

Gravdigr 07-17-2012 03:27 PM
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I was gonna take a pic of my forearm and a ruler to visualize 13.5 inches. And I did. But, look in the background, at the commercial on the tv...


'Go long' indeed.

:lol2:

Attachment 39694

DanaC 07-17-2012 03:58 PM
Umm Grav...why were you measuring your arm?

Ibby 07-17-2012 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 820677)
Umm Grav...why were you measuring your arm?
Quote:
Originally Posted by classicman (Post 820600)
Man with world's largest penis frisked by TSA at Calif. airport

Read more:

ZenGum 07-18-2012 06:15 AM
Dude should go through the airport again.

On viagra.

DanaC 07-18-2012 06:24 AM
Ahhh...ok :p

Cyber Wolf 07-18-2012 11:44 AM
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Just. Stop. Raining.

Yo dawg, I heard you like news, so I put a news headline in a news story so you can read the news while you read the news.

Attachment 39696

jimhelm 07-18-2012 11:48 AM
Yeah, that would not be fun. having a 13.5" schlonse, I mean. It would be fun SOMETIMES... like at a party, you could chase people around with it... or win bets or something... but unless you had a girl with an equally large vahjayjay, you'd NEVER get to sink it to the bezel. And you'd get light headed when you got hard.... the airport would be the least of the inconveniences.
nsfw!

Sundae 07-18-2012 02:18 PM
I hope that was just a "comedy" anecdote.
Exposing yourself in a public place makes you a skeez in my book.

That said, I'd hate to fall head over heels in love with a man with a 13.5" cock.
OWWWWW.
I'd prefer 4" (better for anal too)

Gravdigr 07-18-2012 02:43 PM
Ahem...Hi, my name's Gravdigr, and I like long walks on the beach, sunsets...

Gravdigr 07-19-2012 05:00 PM
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What, like, in their arms???

Attachment 39745

Bath salts-related story here.

ZenGum 07-20-2012 06:15 AM
No, it clearly says they caught him in his underwear.

I hope it was elasticised.


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