Ciara
 

Hi all.

First, let me say that I may be a "newbie" to you, but I have visited this board many times, mostly the Current Events section, and do enjoy many of the posts that you all write.

OK, to the point now, what the heck is with this Ciara? I saw a post in the Current Events earlier today referencing Ciara, so I searched the site to see what the comment was about, (someone wrote something like Ciara might like this info, and a reply was that she only checks for updates on her thread). So I found her thread, and I don't disagree that you all did not whip out those check books and send $$$ the next day via FedEx, but damn, some of you guys and gals were harsh. (my opinion only).

Anyway, I could not find a link to the so-called Ciara's website with the "blog", so I couldn't get the whole story. Does anoyone have the link? Also, her thread is locked, and... gosh darnit... I wanted to throw in my 2 cents worth.

So, here it is... I am also on Paxil and Ativan/Lorazepam for anxiety and depression, but not that high of dosage. I have had my fair share of problems, and I am determined to get through them, and I am succeeding, because I know that I must do this on my own and must prevail. I am not financially "at risk", and I don't have any of the "problems" that Ciara supposedly has/had. I know what I must do for me.

But, back to the subject, what the hell was that all about? I really would like the link to her website to read her rantings/Blog.

And finally, if Ciara is for real, and in that much trouble, I do wish her the best, but I also agree that the cell phone has to go. I hate those things and refuse to own one.

Also, the odd thing was that on the last page of thread, page 7, she was suddenly unemployed. Did anyone catch that?

Thank you for this forum, and Hello to all...

If you click Ciara's "profile" link, you'll see her weblog URL in there.

I agree, they were kinda harsh. Unlike myself. I am always kind and gentle. :)

I think the problem with Ciara's story was that it seemed so fake. The community is generally pretty caring for members that have it tough. For example, I just had a house fire. If you hop into the "Home Base" section and look at the "Let's Buy Dave A Bunch Of Comedy CDs Project" thread, you'll see what I mean. But I had photographic evidence of my problem :)

Also, her first post was begging for money. I've been posting here for over a year and a half now and people know me. I'm real, and everyone knows that, whether they like me or not. She hopped on here with a fake name ("Ciara Myst", haha) and immediately attempted to exploit the kindness of the members. A lot of people are offended by that sort of thing.

Anyway, thems just my two cents.

Hey Dave, thanks for the reply...
 

I checked her Profile and ther is no weblog link, she must have removed it.

Too bad about the house fire, sorry to hear that. I'll check the thread tomorrow from work.

I understand the newbie jumping in and begging for cash, I don't disagree with that at all, I just wanted the link to her website/blog to read the rest of the story.

Oh, BTW, I've been dropping in on this site for about 5-6 months, and it's funny, it's like I know some of the bunch, the styles of messages, attitudes, opinions, and such. I always found this as an interesting place to visit, though now that I thinks about it, I don't evern know where I found the link to this site. Anyway, it had been awhile, due to holidays and vacation, so I missed that whole ciara thingy.

And now, come to think of it, I don't know why I never registered before... Maybe it's that I belong to too many boards already, I don't know.

Take care...:)

She reports having had a "nervous breakdown" and was "hospitalized" (she waited at a CRC for 6 hours, by her own description, but never made it onto an inpatient unit) and as a consequence could no longer cut hair under the table.

I did have a couple of off-board communications with her ... she did hook up with an outpatient center near her for treatment. Beyond that, I don't know what further has happened with her.

wolf...
 

Was she really that bad off, or was it proportion?

Either way, I hope it works out for her...

Thanks for the update.

Ooops...
 

That is...

Was she really that bad off, or was it blown out of proportion?

My bad...

I figgered out what you meant. You can edit posts that you've already put up, incidentally. Just click the "edit" button.

What I think about the situation is less important than what she does. One man's ordinary day is another man's crisis.

I do this stuff for a living, and although I might laugh at someone in the privacy of my office, I don't do it to their faces. She had a number of issues that were very difficult for her ... as described on the board. I'm not discussing anything outside of what we already know here.

Here is the link to her blog. She seems to be doing better based on her recent postings.

Pshaw! Right!

Uh..that is.. I mean.. please don't beat me, sir!! ::slinks into darkness::

.
 

It's me. I have been doing better. And I don't work under the table like someone said in a previous link. I am currently unemployed and I will return to work on February 5. I did seek help, and have been doing alot better since then.

I did take a nervous breakdown, but like someone else said earlier to me(can't remember who), there is no such thing as a nervous breakdown. Well, what can I say, there really isn't. It's just a way of saying, snapping, freaking out, cracked, major major depression. Depression where you cannot get out of bed, not even to shower, or eat. I was woken up by my mother, who was here for the holidays, to let me know when it was time for dinner. I got up, ate, went right back into bed. I'm not talking about just laying in bed all day, I'm taking serious, serious sleep. Sleeping almost 20 hours or more a day. Getting up fucking on the computer a few minutes, crying hysterically, shitting, pissing, and crying some more, only to get back into bed to cry myself asleep. I did go to the mental facility, at a hospital in Jersey, supposedly one of the best centers, that is why who took me, decided to take me to Jersey. I did not wait in the waiting room for 6 hours. I was in the suicide watch room, they kept asking me if I wanted to be commited, but decided not to stay because, for one psych never even came down to speak to me, and two, I really did have suicidal thoughts, but did nopt think I would ever act on it, I just REALLY really needed to speak to someone. They did want me to comeback for evaluation the next day at their mental facilty, but it was 6 hours a day at $500 dollars a pop. They suggested that I try to just speak to a psychologist, which would be just as best, and cheaper. I have no insurance so this made it hard. I can't afford the psychologist's prices. So...... what I finally started doing, after trying not to have to commit myself just to get some help, was calling all the psychologists in my area and telling them about my situation, and how I felt I desperately needed to speak to someone, I had problems, but could not afford his prices, and he said I wanted to help me, and asked how much I could afford. His prices were $150 a session. I told him I could afford $75. He said he would take that price until I was back to work and able to afford the full price. My first appointment was this Tuesday past.

P.S. I work in a shop, like most cosmetologists. I do not work out of my home, except for a few of my family members and some close friends. I have about 7 people I do at home.

Opps, I made a mistake, I was typing so fast, my brain was going a mile a minute. His price was not $150, it was $125.

One of the problems you had, most likely, was being a PA resident going to NJ for treatment.

If you were to go to a hospital in your home county you can receive treatment, regardless of your ability to pay (actually any inpatient facility that refuses to treat on the basis of ability to pay risks hefty fines and losing the ability to accept ALL MEDICARE PAYMENTS), and the hospital would start a medical assistance application for you. Ditto for outpatient treatment. There is also county funding available for mental health care ... and whoo hoo ... it's the beginning of the year so there is lots of money left in the pot.

*feels wolf's forehead* Hmmm...perhaps you should sit down, and maybe have a pint or two. You must be terribly confused if you think Philadelphia has any money in its pot. :)

Philadelphia has PLENTY of money in it's pot.

There's a secret though ... they never pay it out.

(I get a LOT of authorizations for Phila. County Funding. We never actually get the money, apparently. Things may be different for Phila funding for Phila hospitals, though)

Ciara, I read your diary entries... despite all that has happened, you had the presence of mind to do what would really help you. You were resourceful and went about things smartly. WAY TO GO!

Now be patient as it will not get better overnight, but it will get better.

Thank you for your kind words. Finally some more kind words from the cellar. I am definately doing alot better, of course not all is perfect. Right now I am working on thinking more positive. Doctor's orders. So far I am doing quite well with it.

Well, the Cellar is a community first and has to protect itself as a community first. You know how it's like with online places... people are ALWAYS trying to mess with them. So new people are always treated harshly until the community knows they are not harmful.

The positive thinking WORKS! But it does take time, that's why I say patience. No doubt you want things to get better RIGHT AWAY. But you will find that it varies from day to day. The occasional "setback" is to be expected, and the important thing is not to beat yourself up if you have a bad day.

It also takes Paxil several months to really have a complete effect.

alt.support.anxiety-panic is a fine resource of helpful folks, if you have Usenet access.

Ciara
 

That's the ticket, keep your chin up and keep thinking positive. Life is great, and we all should enjoy it to the fullest.

Unfortunately, we humans tend to make mistakes and overlook the little things that are important to getting the most out of life. Take time to stop and smell the roses...

Also, I saw the link to your weblog, and read parts of it. You are definitely on a much better track than you were before. Keep it up and don't sweat the small stuff. Best of luck to you.

Your internal dialog definitely has a giant impact on your overall mood and outlook on life. Most times we don't even realize the horrible things we're saying to ourselves in our head. We just know it's been a "bad day". But if you can catch yourself and alter that dialog, you can make some amazing changes.

Actually I have been on paxil for more than a year. getting blood tests every other month to make sure there is no damage to my liver. I am on a pretty high dosage. I also take nerve pills for very bad days. I was wonderful all year on meds. I couldn't even believe the me who was me! I loved me. But I do have my moments. I was thinking insanely over the holidays. I snapped. I feel like I am getting no where, and no where fast. I feel like time is running out, but have no idea why. My brother lost his job, his boss had just packed up and left. he did not get fired or do anything in the wrong. I have problems with obssessing, so his problem of being out of a job, became more annoying to me than him. My mother was here, and she is negative ALL the time. I couldn't really afford Christmas. There is alot more also. Everything was just piling up, and I snapped. I know I will still have my days, and sometimes it might even be days at a time. But I feel better knowing that the doctor can help me. It gives me something to look forward too. Before I couldn't see any solution except to kill myself. But thank God, I know better than that, and never would act out on it. I just needed desperately to talk to someone. I was dying on the inside.