Bambi's Aunt Rides Again
 

Damn.
Those fucking deer.
I was in the tree stand again yesterday afternoon waiting for them to return. They did. I stood still for a long ass time while the big doe looked, left, returned, left, returned, left, returned looked at me, kept eating, and finally got into THE PERFECT QUARTERING AWAY position, head turned away and eating when I let my arrow loose.

Perfect height for a heart shot.

Three inches in front of her. Thwap! into the earth.

She and her two friends leaped away, ran ten or fifteen feet, stopped, looked around. Ran another 20 feet, stopped and looked around, then walked off to the far end of the field.

I totally choked and missed a perfect shot.

OTOH, it was the first arrow I'd ever shot at anything besides a foam target. As an over-achieving perfectionsit, that doesn't really take the sting out of it.


(That was an intentionally ironic misspelling)

Don't worry Brianna. It happens to us guys sometimes. footfootfoot's ability to shoot will return. He said so himself "performance anxiety". If you're less hard on him, he'll be more hard on you--wink wink nudge nudge.

yeah. Seriously Bri, go easy on me, I did say it was my first time.

No, no!

I can't love a man who would kill Bambi! (Or Bambi's Aunt)

:(

I wouldn't turn down a venison dinner.
At least the doe had a better life than the vast majority of dairy cows or egg laying chickens (every male chick hatched is killed).

yeesh.

footfootfoot? did you kill bambi? no. did you kill bambi's aunt? no. but you're outta luck anyhow. harsh bro, harsh.

Maybe he'll be like when Opie shot the bird with his slingshot and felt really badly about it.

:(

Bitches talk about not finding a good man with an acceptable number of teeth, but minutes later they're all hating on a good-looking, sensitive, highly intelligent, cultured dwellar, whose marriage is iffy, just because he's a bow hunter.

Bitches need to figure out some priorities.

He's not hunting bows, he's hunting DEER!

'Sides, I've not seen his teeth. ;)

Ex-squeeze me?
This bitch was thinkin' with her stummick!
Don't tie me in with those bitches.
Imma gonna eat them when the apocalypse comes.




(Sorry bitches, love you really, especially with chutney)

..

*scuffles feet*


Sorry, Toad. I was thinking with my warm and womanly heart that looooooooves all furry creatures of the woodland and grassland and mountain ranges. Monsters that dwell in the water - not so much. If Footy was bow hunting, oh, let's say an alligator, now that I could get behind.

And I like my filet mignon med. rare.

:D

ps - if Sundae eats me due to the apocolypse my wish is to be stewed in Smirnoff first.

:D Hee! :D

I respect you so much for not making a cunnilingus post.

Male chick?

And what's a cunnilingus post? Is it like a pierced tongue?

Sometimes the stars align in a single post:

I was trying to be sly in my sense of humour.
Edit now and I have a chance to edit too ;)

Have I been insulted?





;)

Not at all, but it was too perfect to pass up!

It could've been anyone! ;)

No, the tongue gets (and gives) a different treatment.

Attachment 35353

I believe Smirnoff is for pickling, not stewing.

Ghosts, deer are.

Can't wait to kill a few for some really great dinners. Most of my buds have taken one this year, I have only had a chance to get out 4 times.

Is that in the UK?

I never heard of that before. i understood the males were the "young whole chickens" sold for roasting and other quality chicken meat, and the females were kept for egg-laying and then ended up in chicken "products" (pies, soup etc).

guess its time for some research.....

/\WSS and all the dairy cows I know get their breakfast brought to them, then they get their tits washed and massaged. Then they lounge around all day regurgitating, then its time for dinner and another tit wash/massage.

OH the Deermanity!

Started earlier today. My hunting buddy decided to head over to where the deer had come from yesterday instead of his spot where he was yesterday. I was in the tree again, he was on the ground. As he walked toward the tree stand (his spot was beyond it) He stopped because there was B's Aunt munching on apple drops.

He slowly backed off and she ran. He waited a while and headed back to his spot. I went up the tree thinking "Well this spot's done.) But I hung out anyway for about an hour. I noticed she'd made a big circle and was now just slightly downwind of me (I was mostly deodorized -- oh and another thing I thought I had packed my camo, but hadn't, So I was up there with blue jeans.)

She slowly made her way back to the apple tree keeping an eye on me the whole time. I just stood there trying not to sway and trying to look very tree-trunk like. She finally arrived and all the apple drops were gone. She took a few little sniffs and then walked away.
I was kicking myself because after I had gotten up into the stand, and was all roped-in I noticed the drops were gone and I though maybe I should go shake the tree a bit.

Tomorrow.

There was one moment where she was lined up, but she still had her eye on me. I didn't want to risk moving because then she would have made me. She left thinking I was just a funky tree limb.

There's three more night of Bow/Doe then it's Bucks only.

As it was, if my friend had stayed in his original spot he would have had a great shot at her.

Thanks UT and Big V and Infi and Nirvana and Monster and Merc and Sundae.
And Brianna, you know you want me.

footy - look for these :apaw: :apaw: on the ground.

That should help.

:)

Them's kitteh feetz! THINK OF THE KITTEHS!

:weneedakittehandadoggehsmilie:

That tongue picture pisses me off, btw. Thank gawdz for a new page.

I got hurt once (i was hunting with Dick Cheney and he shot me in the face with an arrow) and had to call the bambi's aunt. It took them like 7 minutes to get to me. I died.

Who'll pop a cap in bambi's ass with me?
Not I, said Brianna...

Who'll have a nice venison tenderloin teriyaki with me?

Ooh, me, me, said Brianna.

I read that book when I was a kid.

The BoxEars Children?

RSPCA website. There was a chicken hatchery in the village I used to live in. Many of my friends had worked there at some point.

My comment about cows is not about small local dairy herds, more about factory farming. These cows are artificially inseminated, have their calves removed immediately after birth (which causes visible distress) and are not free to graze, but instead are fed grains to increase milk yield, which are difficult to digest. And of course injected with hormones.

They are milk machines.
Instead of living nearly 20 years they are unlikely to live past 5.

I'm just saying that had that doe been shot, at least she lived a natural life.

Well - did Brianna get some venison tenderloin teriaki?

No. She just had some mashed potatoes and corn. And she was HAPPY to have it.

Bambi's aunt - she has a name - it's Bimba.

Our Reception class told the story of the Little Red Hen at our Harvest Festival.

It seemed frankly unlikely to me.
If hens could plant and harvest wheat, they would not bother baking it into bread.
And if they did bake it into bread, they would be too useful to put into sandwiches anyway.

Silly 4-5 year olds. Didn't think it through.

The Self-Baking Chicken Sandwich.

We'll make millions, I tell ya!!