I am back...
 

I was banished from here. I understand that. Just looking for a 2nd chance I suppose. Please, Mr. Undertoad...let me be here.

It has been a hard 6 months. The pain of having no community; nothing but a life of debchury...please...

Pam.

Whoa.

Hi Pam. Good luck!

I am not sure if I am back or not; I guess that is up to Mr. Undertoad. Am I quaranteened?? It has been a long 6 months; and I have served my sentence...although I am upset for being put down so far... Is any1 out there???

Pam.

I voted for Obama. He has failed. And I have to; so I can not blame him. I wish for love and peace; yet I know I will never have it. I just wish to be accepted back here once again. I made a mistake; and although I feel my punishment was very harsh, ... I am here. I wish Mr. Undertoad would explain it all to me...as I feel that the punishment did not suit whatever I did. I know I got drunk and disrespected him. For that, I am sorry.... But, I did not jump... hence I am here.

Pam.

Pam, it is not only up to me. Others can also ban you.

One reason you were banned is because it was felt that the Cellar was not good for your mental health. You obsessed, you went from love to hate, and you were very dramatic.

I know how I was. But is that reason to banish me?? It is your site; and yet you threw me out...guess I am used to it. I do want to love...and yet you think I hate??? As far as the drama, I never wanted it. And yet it is always here. At least I am honest. No website will take me; and you will bann me again...for reasons I have not done. I loved it here...Truth be told,,,... i have no friends...

hmmmm....

Well, I am not sure what to make of this. I am deeply hurt. I truly am. In the past 6 months I was away...and I was/am hurt by what had to happen to me on this site...

I think I have seen you before. Not sure. But my God, what did I do??? I walk around the city; wondring what is wrong with me; and why I am not accpeted...and drink ... i was kind... to everyone.. yet i got sent away....??????? sadly pam.

I'm not sure what to make of your return Pam. I never interacted with you on your previous visits because I thought some were being cruel to you at times, and i really didn't have anything to say to you.

Your response to my 'hmmmm' is what UT is talking about with the dramatics. Why would you be deeply hurt by my comment. I'm no one to you.

I hope you can find some peace and have a better time here this time round.

Maybe others will go easier on you too. I hope they do.

Good luck.

I have no problem with you being here Pam, as long as you chill the fuck out :P

Seriously. We don't want dramatics. If you can do that. If you can just hang here and not be overly upset by every passing post, then you are very welcome here as far as I am concerned.

That's my tuppenorth. Others may or may not share my view.

Well Undertoad had to make a choice, although I think it was a poor one...but it is not my website...it is his...but he should not have let it go this far...

I try not to be dramtatic; yet it gets the best of me at times. I know it does. But it does not make me any less of a person than any1 here posting... Perhaps I have too many emotions. That I understand...

I am OK for now. Not that any1 would care. I just wish for a world of kindness...perhaps I will never see...

Just too upet to ty[e. I should not hav been banned...and most peopel know it. There was no reason to bann me. I never hurt anyone...ever. ......................88ppppppppppp Pam.

I remember you DanaC. I am doing my best...I truly am. But 6months hurt me.... Pam.

I guess that is fine; as it is your website. But I also wish to remind you that it is YOUR website, as far as I can gather... And with that comes some responsibility... at least a social one...

There was never ever a reason as to why I was tossed away; except for a broad-brush generic one. 'for yor health.' Perhaps, I have missed something. From what accredited university did you earn a degree in psyciatry from??

It's so easy to take a shot at someone; and bann them I suppose. But sometimes, it is unwarranted. Look inside yourself; and perhaps you will see yourself at times...

Do you think I ever meant to be like this?? And for the record, when 'one' is banned; there should be some way of getting in contact with you; so as to exlain a circumstance...

Sure I see what was written about me; and perhaps no one cares. I am used tothat Undertoad. You have the chance to make a difference. And you cast me aside... it was never about rating or whatever attention I received. I just wanted to be part of something. I hope while you are cutting people; you are not cutting yourself as well...

Sadly,
Pam.

I was kind of hoping that you would come back, Pam. But, do you have to start right in with the poor me routine?

You got banned. Move past it and concern yourself with making friends. No one owes you affection just because you claim to be pathetic. Tell us about what you've been doing these months. Give us a poem. Make a joke, have a smoke, and stop demanding explanations and apologies.

I like you. I'm glad you came back. Now you have a friend here.

stern but amiably,
Jim

Good luck, Pam. I'll keep an open mind about you.

Well, I am still bitter/upset about my banishment; but at the same time I can not deny that it was partly my fault... I am still pretty mad; as there was no way to appeal my plight...

I am happy that someone cares. The months?? Well, I was kidnapped, held a knife-point, homeless... If it were not for family I would be dead. In the interim; I gave up smoking...

I still strive for happiness, and would like to return to who I was. I want to go home; but not the home I once knew. I seriously do not know who I am anymore; or why anyone would want me...when I do not want myself...yet I digress I suppose...

I am just a bit mad still at what happened here... I do not think any1 shoudl ever turn their back on any1...I know I never would...

Pam.

Hi.

I am glad you responded. I am still very hurt by what happened; but I guess I was not missed. There was no way to contact Mr. Undertoad about an appeal; but I guess I deserved it as well...

I do not think I was that bad; emotionally perhaps...but I did not do anything to harm any1 or myself....hence, I am still here...

Surely, I will do something to upset others, and I will be gone again. For some reason, I miss that poster MTP (More than Pretty??) She hated me, but I liked her a lot. Is she still here??

Pam.

Undertoad wasn't the only one to ban you. I banned you a couple of times when you tried to sneak back in as 1Sunshine, Abby's Hope, and sickgirl.

You've "served your time" for those 6 months, but I hope you understand that some are going to be a little suspicious about you. I'm serious when I say I'm keeping an open mind about you, but I hope you are listening to everyone. It's the drama we don't want. You seem to be getting right back in to the drama. Please don't.

Why don't you go over to the word association thread and start in gently with some nice word associations?

pam, there is a link at the bottom of every page that says contact us. you could have contacted us. you have to be honest if we're going to be friends, ok?

Every1 is always suspicious. I always admired you for being objective; truth be told, I am a bit smarter than people think...even I shock myself at times... As for the drama, I never wanted it; but when someone is in my position, you will claw for whatever you can get. I do not wish for drama; simply acceptance...

Yes, I did try to sneak back on as 1Sunshine and Abby's Hope. How much more honesty do you want from me?? I saw a rat on the train the other day. It was fighting for food, for survival. Some people ran; some tried to kill it. I sat there, thinking that the fucking rat represents me. Granted, I failed in NY, but I do have things to offer...

All I am asking for is a chance. Yes, when I first came here, I saw the attention, the thread counts, etc., etc.. Sure it felt good; but it was not me at all. I know how Iam viewed on here. A fucking troll. But, I have seen 'trolls.' I am not one. I simply post about how I feel; and what happens to me in life... God,?? why can't people believe??
Pam.

Wow! Six months already! Time does fly. Welcome back Pam. Your dreams were your ticket out.

Well, my dreams got smashed; right on Water street; but I really do not wish to talk about. It just happened. Yet, I know I am to blame. I fucked up... and nobody want you when you lose...

From what I recall of you, you were not a supporter of me; so kindly fuck off. Get it?? The same old Pam. Just a little less nieve...

Take care,
Pam.

I did try to attempt to contact Mr. Undertoad. I was met with a message that stated: 'Please...are you serious.' Or something of the nature. Try it for yourself. Once you are banned, there is no appeal process...TRUST ME I tried...more than once...

Pam.

sigh

You could start by restricting yourself to one whiny thread and leaving it at that ... This is the second one I've seen this morning. Should you care to participate in this community, there are multiple opportunities to express yourself.

Pam/Peter/Paul/whatever... We didn't get along to well the first time.

Try posting about something ANYTHING other than yourself.
Express your opinion on current events/politics/animals ... whatever.

Image of the day threads also a good place to get involved, they have definite subject to comment on and theres a new one every day

click here to see the image of the day section

I don't even remember you, but, as we all know, my memory is worthless. I don't see why you shouldn't be given a second chance as long as you are reasonable. I learned the error of my ways and was allowed back, so the same is certainly possible for you. Also, there are many, many support groups out there, and its a big Internet. I suggest you join one of them and dump on them all the stuff that annoyed people here.

Pam: remember what i was saying about chilling the fuck out?

Seriously: I'm happy you came back. But I have no interest in a pity party. I am, however, genuinely interested in hearing your views on things, your likes and dislikes, your experiences and anecdotes.

Sam is quite right about second chances. But you can make that a much better and more successful second chance by not doing all the same stuff that got you banned last time. Already you have demanded affection and explanations, and insulted people.

Please. Please just talk about other stuff. Go into the word association thread, or the Image of the Day, or the Post your Pet thread or...

Anything, really. Do you want us to know only your problems? Do you want us to know only your crises? Don't you want us to know what books you like to read, or what films you found compelling? What do you think about the world around you? What is your opinion on the news of the day?

You are welcome here, Pam. But an as yet unbuilt friendship cannot be unconditional support.

OK, I will check out thoseother threads. Mr. Glatt suggested I do as such as well. I will participate in those threads as well. You ask me about books and movies?? I have many that I like. I like Great Expectations...a wonderful book. In the end, Pip does not get/win Estella. She spurns him; and crushed his heart like a grape. No unrealistsic Hollywood ending. That is why it is a great book. I remember reading it in my Honors English class. While every1 was sad at the ending; I cheered! People want to see atrocity; and realistic endings. Charles Dickens delievered that...

As far as movies; I like a lot of Independent films; such as 'Niagra Niagra,' and 'The Dreamlife of Angels.' ...although both girls die in the end of both films. One gets shot; the other 'offs' herself....so sad...

Anyway, I will check out those other threads you speak of...thanks.
take care,
Pam.

I didn't like being forced to read Great Expectations, but I have to admit it was a really good book.

Years later, my wife and I were visiting a friend of hers, and it was really weird. This friend was acting odd, and she left the lights off, and it was all messy, but in a precise way, in her apartment. As we walked to the car afterwards, I mentioned that this friend reminded me a lot of Mrs. Havisham. My wife agreed enthusiastically, even though we had never spoken about Great Expectations. I didn't even know she had read it.

We still refer to that friend as Mrs Havisham.

this just needs a little polish to be a really good quote

Thank you all for your support. I am glad that Glatt read Great Expectations...although he should not have been forced to. A tragic ending is a great ending...and should be celebrated!!

I do like the quote about 'friendship' that Dana C has written for me. I like her; as she is the only one willing to be my friend on here...although at times, I think she wonders if I am worth it...

I have too her advice; and I have posted about my favorite book and movie. I have also branched out to other parts of the site...

Still a bit stunned; and need time to re-adjust to the site again... and sadly, I am spending time in NJ because I got fired from my job. I miss NY terribly...

Sadly,
Pam.

be --> provide

What is this??? It makes no sense. And please, no political posts on my thread. This is not the place for it; and you are messing it up for me...

This thread is about my return; and I would like to keep it on track.

Thanks,
Pam.

Ale na razie nie zbudowany (stworzony) przyjaźń nie może być bezwarunkowym poparciem.

I am hoping that says what DanaC said; but just in a different language. I am not sure what language that is - which you are speaking...

Also, in my travels here, I see that there is a poster named 'Penis Spam.' I will not let that person destroy my soul; but I was wondering if you are aware of this person - as maybe they should be removed?? ... Pam.

Do Not Remove Penis Spam.

Please. Thank You.

You do not want it removed because it is probably you. You are a soul destroyer; yet I will not let that happen! I know all the jokes about my name. Pam and Spam. I have heard them all...

Do you know what it was like getting sprayed with cooking spray when I walked the halls in school?? Or when I was smaller, and I got sprayed with Pam cooking spray on the playground???

You do not; so do not support that poster - or yourself...

Pam.

lol

so inventive!

Be provide was big v polishing danas quote, pam. And griff translated it to pole ish.

And if dana is your only friend, then I am hurt and saddened.

penisly,

Jim

Also.... We have another pam. He who will be she.

You are not alone in this world or even new jersey.

As for now, Dana is my only friend on here. There is no reason for you to be hurt or saddened. There is only 1 Pam; and that is me. Yes, I am alone, and in NJ right now. The mods can verify this. I also do not appreciate your 'Penisly' comment. I had a problem with you last time around. Maybe you are Penis Spam??? I would like Penis Spam to come forth and prduce themselves!!!!!!!

Angry,
Pam.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I think she just told you to jerk off, Jim.

Jim is trying to get to me. This happened last time; as he forces people to explode. But this time is different. I will not fall for his trickery!! He will not destroy my soul...

Also, when I think of the name 'Jim' I think of this boy I went to school with. He was retarded; and they called him 'Dim' instead of Jim. (I guess like a 'dim' lightbulb??? I suppose??) So I am prepared for any attack on me...

Not retreating,
Pam.

He isnt; attacking you. He is gently poking fun. That's what we do here. We take the piss out of each other in a friendly manner.

That is merely what I did on my other thread when I branched out; yet you view it as 'trolling.' Dana, you can not have it both ways. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

I am not leaving Home Base anymore; but I do thank you for the comment about Tapir on the thread about the zoo...

Pam.

That wasn't what you were doing. You are being deeply insulting to people. You give it out but then cry when someone makes even a light joke.

Classicman in particular tried to play your dinner party game and give a thoughtful response and you just fucking blasted him for it.

I did not 'blast' him for it. I got upset because he did not follow the rules of the game I posted. I just wanted to know why he chose those guests. I gave reasons for mine. He did that on purpose; but it does not matter; as I will no longer be branching out...at least not for a while.

I do not feel 'safe' anywhere but Home Base because of things like that; things that happen in other areas of the forum... This is my 'safe haven'. And I like it here...

Pam.

He gave his reason. And you did blast him for it.

The slightest deviation from how you want people to reply and you go off like a fucking firework. Yet you get to tell other people to fuck off and call them jealous cunts and expect we are all just going to let it wash over us?

Nah. I don't think so, sweet cheeks.

He was not kind to me earlier this year; so why did he even respond?? He likes to start a problem; and generally hates women from what I have been told. So I am not sure of his motives...

Perhaps he is divorced?? I am not aware of his circumstance. Also, he said some negative things about you on another thread...VERY RECENTLY...

Pam.

lol

right. I see.

I'm sorry but this is hilarious.

Pam - you are one fuckin' funny chick.

I've been laughing since I logged on here this morning.

:)

I am not sure of your motive; as you said that you want MTP to spit on my soul...on the other thread; and also said I have a 'Cognitive Dissonance' which, I still have to google to find out...

There is nothing funny about losing your job and having to move back to NJ. Very, very upset about the whole thing... and looking to make amends...

Pam.

I didn't say I wanted MTP to spit on your soul.

I said she might want to.

MTP might want to spit on your soul b/c you called her a jealous cunt.

But what do I know? maybe MTP would be cool with it.

Well, I am awaiting her arrival here. I even went into the chat room last night because I know that she is there at times; but she was not. I should not have called her that vile word... I think that she has a lot of feelings ; and perhaps I hurt her last time by mistake...

pam.:sniff:

Pam - you're a peach.

You called her bitter scorn by mistake.


got it.

Whenever someone posts 'bitter scorn' I think of some kind of savoury popcorn...

I like popcorn. Recently, I was at the mall. The movie threatre is next door. I could smell the popcorn. I went into the threatre to get some popcorn (even if it is overpriced...you can't beat their butter sauce). I was told that I must purchase a ticket for a movie in order to be able to go to the concession stand...

I went crazy. Talk about 'bitter scorn.' I knocked down the velvet ropes and called the fat man (selling tickets in the booth) a 'gaylord sloth.' Not sure why I chose those words...

Also, I do remember the night I called her 'bitter scorn.' And she did go crazy...

Pam.

Could one of you arrange that for about 4 o'clock in the morning? 'Cause then I wouldn't have to get up. :D

Maybe we can do some productive work on your problem solving skills.

Hopefully you have either a stove or a hotplate.

And a 3 quart saucepan with a properly sized lid.

Put one quarter cup of oil into the pot. Add about three or four popcorn kernels. Cover with the lid. When those kernels pop, the oil is at proper cooking temperature.

Add one-third cup of popcorn kernels.

Pop over medium heat until the popping really slows down (couple of seconds between pops, just like the microwave). If you wait until it stops, it WILL be burnt. Keep moving and shaking the pot to keep kernels from sticking to the bottom of the pot and burning. If you can do it without having popcorn jump out into your kitchen, raise the pot lid a tiny bit to let the steam escape, which will make your popcorn crispier. This isn't mission critical, but it's a nice touch. Pour into bowl.

Put butter into the already hot popcorn pan (real butter, not margarine) use low heat if the pan isn't hot enough on it's own to do the melting.. Pour over popcorn, add salt to taste.

It will cost you under a buck a batch that way ... and movie theater popcorn is shit these days ... Golden Topping is terrible, awful, no-good stuff.