a video for you
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa_cw...layer_embedded

Sorry, posted a link cuz i forgot how to post w/out linking and i'm too lazy to search instructions cuz i'm so tired and need to get to bed. I just saw this and wanted to post it up. It made me feel bad because I'm too impatient with my mom and get upset w/ her easily. I have to start treating her better.

Here ya go LB.

Now that I watched that ... :'(

Sigh.

I need to have more patience with my mom. She's lost her short term memory and it is frustrating.

Yeah... It probably sucks for you too, Brianna. Have strength.

Thanks Lola. What a great thread, and a great message. I applaud you. Now, I think I'm done for the day. Gonna go see my Mom.

Didn't like it.
I was bothered by the soundtrack and the fact it wasn't proof-read.
And also by the fact that my Mum has been making comments to my Dad for years about his aging (calling him deaf, slow, boring etc) so I can't see this as a letter from her OR him.

Still, I have nothing against it.
And if it touches people here that's a good thing.

How does it resonate if you imagine your Granddad as the speaker?

It doesn't, really.

I'm not trying to be obtuse, but we looked after him and loved him as well as we could, as flawed human beings ourselves.

Mum has been far gentler with Grandad and his infirmities than she ever has been with Dad. I saw that she worked hard for him and how much she cared. And how she made time for all the little things - listening, cheering him up, making him lunch he liked, doing all his washing and ironing even when he had "accidents". And then the bigger things - seeing him every day in hospital, spoon-feeding him, holding his hand, massaging his feet, talking talking talking about the old times and hoping some is getting through and comforting him.

Grandad did not need to write that letter to Mum. She's not perfect, but on the occasions she called him a stupid old git or a moaning bastard it was only behind our closed front door :) The next day she was back looking after him in his house or the hospital or the nursing home. Still, if I forwarded it on to her she would feel guilty.

As I say, just because it doesn't fit my experience, doesn't mean I'm denigrating it.

It is well known that I am a softy and have been known to cry at Hallmark commercials.

But this video was sooo obviously trying to pull my heartstrings it had the opposite effect.

its aimed at people who would yell at their elderly parents. enuff said. who acts like that if the parents are as drippy sweet as this video implys. assholes, thats who. Garbage.

SG, I didn't get the sense you denigrate it, not at all. And Pete, I'm a well known softy but it pierced my heart. I didn't hear it as a plea from some YouTuber to try to make me feel a certain way, I heard my parent's voice saying those words. That touched me. I also heard my voice saying the same things, should I be so lucky to live so long (I'm already a lot older than my Dad ever was), and that voice scared me.

There's an endless drumbeat about Social Security and save for your own retirement, etc etc. But who will physically tend to me when I'm infirm. My robot monkey maybe... I don't know. You two are among the finest people I know. I don't judge you by your reaction to the video, I don't. I have to say it floored me though. I cried, then at about 1:15 ish I bawled.

It's hard to take care of frail parents. It's hard to take care of kids. It's super hard to take care of both at the same time. But it's also hard to be old, to have things taken away, your vitality, your independence, your control. And for many it is hard *and* lonely. I feel badly mostly from my own guilty conscience. My fault, my problem. I feel for them, too, though.

I guess I'm with Pete. The video touched me at first, but then it went into overkill. I took care of my Dad in his old age and did all I could for him at the time. I so wish it could have been more.

My Mom, on the other hand was much more complicated. She turned very mean in her old age and her character defects were amplified. I did the best I could with her at the time, too, but she was very cruel toward me and just about everyone else except for her dog. I now realize that many of her actions and words were motivated by fear - fear of financial insecurity, fear of aging, fear of death. I wish I could have seen that more clearly at the time, but even if I had, she would have been a very difficult old woman.

I'm with Sundae and Pete. And then some. What a load of cobblerific "I wanna go viral on youtube" shite. Sorry LB.

When I'm old and stink, and need help to get about and get stuff done...... employ someone to deal with it so when you visit I'm at my best and we can have fun. And just tell me when I'm boring you -it'll feel just like the good old teenage days.

Beautiful.

An amazing and wonderful video.

Hi Lola Bunny,

That video was very disturbing to me; as I fear my parents dying. And they are getting old. Now, that I have seen the video; I can not sleep... I saw a few of your posts; and find you interesting...

I figured I would respond, since I will never be venturing outside of the Home Base forum; and would like to get to know those who are here...

~Pam.

Pam: the same people are in here that are in other parts of the forum. There isn't a separate 'homebase' community.

I am not sure if this is true. Before I was banned, I never ventured out of here. I did try last night; yet was met with great adversity and lies about me...which is not fair to me after all I have been through here...

I just feel as though this is my 'safe haven' here. I feel safe in here; like being in a womb. Also, I get very confused on the other parts of the site. And when I get confused I get upset and lash out at people...

That is a part of me I wish to avoid; and am working hard on doing so. It is best that I stay on here for a while; kind of like my own little island...only it is not mine. I have posted a photo of me...if you would like to see me...I am the girl in the blue dress. And yes, I know I am not much to look at...

Pam.

I didn't mean it wasn't a safe place. It probably is a lot safer than, say, the politics forum, for instance. But the same people are as likely to come in here as anywhere else is what I meant :)

They can come here is they choose; as any1 can. I just feel safe in here; as it is all I have ever known. It felt very uncomfortable for me to post elsewhere...

You did not comment on my photo.??

Pam.

.

Hi Sundae,

No, that is not me. I am not sure where people get all these photos. Someone posted a photo of a giant can of Pam cooking spray; which was kind of funny - although I am more than used to the joke...

I did give a comment of my condolences on your thread about your Grandpa passing away. I rarely venure from Home Base, but I wantedto acknowlege your pain and grief. I guess in some way, we are all meant to suffer and be unhappy. When we die; we do not have to worry about it anymore... Anyway, I hope you are feeling bettr...

Pam.
p.s., i like your username. How did you come up with it??may i ask?

I think she just is really waiting for biscuits. I know I am.

But what does that have to do with a username 'Sundae??' Also, I see that she has very big boobs. It is intimidating; since I am a 32A...but I guess she is OK. I hope she is not flashing her boobs for attention. Oh, I do have a question for you, ....

I saw your post the word 'bollocks' in a post. I have seen enough foreign films to have heard that word. I believe it means 'bulls*it??' I saw it in the movie 'Love Actually' and a few others...

Am I correct on what it means?? Also, what is your favorite movie(s)??

Pam.

It means 'balls'. Bollocks is an old word for testicles.

It is a multi-functional word. It can mean that something is untrue: as in that's bollocks. It can mean that you are very drunk: as in I was proper bollocked this weekend (sometimes changed to bollocksed). It can mean you're in trouble: the manager gave him a proper bollocking. He got bollocked by the boss.

And on top of all that there's a phrase that means something is the best there is: it's the dog's bollocks.


And it can be used in much the same way as 'Fuck' can as a general purpose exclamation and qualifier: well, that's bolloxed then. Bollocking Hell! Bollocks! That's bollocking brilliant! Well, I'll be bollocksed (or bolloxed)

It's a great word!

I was annoyed at how slowly the words on the video went. I can read faster than that, so it was like listening to someone who has trouble finishing sentences. Patience trying. Sound was instantly turned off.

As for the slightly glurgy framing of the message, I took it more as a veiled admonition to be more patient and understanding of my kids learning curve. After all, if I am patient and understanding with them when I could easily choose to allow myself to slip into anger, annoyance, and frustration then I'll just be modelling those skills to them, for them to use when I become an old, frustrating and annoying old codger.

Or should that be now that I am an old, frustrating and annoying old codger.

Who repeats himself.

And another thing, by the time your kids read that message, it's probably way too late.

And get the hell off my lawn.

Say that again, I didn't quite catch it...

THIS!!! Call me when the 'shuttle lands.' Jesus Christ...

Pam.

Yes,,, please tell us your story again Mr. Foot. Also, include your age; and at what age you started going blind/deaf...

We are here to help you...this is our 'safe haven.' so, please, please,...tell the story again...we want to hear it again...

Thnx
Pam

I found a text version of the message.

There are parts of it that I didn't care for, but many more parts that touched me, because so many of them echoed the last few years of momwolf's life, since she was chronically ill.

i didn't outright bawl, but I did get misty.

Dear Wolf: What happened to 'MumWolf?' I often fear losing my parents; at the same time I often fear dying before them. It is quite possible that could happen. I am careless, and really do not care abot myself at this point; but I am trying...

I see that you live in Philly? I like Philly. I have been to Tony Luke's steakhouse; it was pretty good. I went to Philly last year to see a phillies game; (my brother is a fan.) I like the Galleria mall. My girlfriend from college (my first lesbian experience) is from 'Broomall PA' which is just a bit outside Philly. I miss her too...

Please tell me we can fix this...

pam.

I'm not fully understanding what you perceive as broken.

momwolf was elderly, sick, and passed away.

I guess I feel as though you have turned on me. I liked you in the past; and I remember you had a cute post named 'Wolf saves dinner'...or something like that...

I did serve my 6 month sentence; and I return under better, but not optimum, health, and I get stung by comments of unstability by other posters...

There was no welcome back; and I see I am just where I left off...as most people wish I had never come back. So I just am lost I suppose... If people want to start a poll as to whether I should leave, I will not protest it; and i will leave if I am voted to...PLEASE, let someone do it.... Pam.

PP check your visitor messages

I do not have any messages of any sort...

What is going on here??

Pam.

Not every word said to or around you is an attack.

There is often distance between what you feel and what is.

Thank you for liking some of the things I have posted. I have posted funny things, sad things, and everything in between over the years here.

I have had people agree and disagree with what I say, and believe.

No matter how wrong I think they might be, there is usually something I can take away from that and use in a positive manner.

I do take things too personally; but I do have a lot of feelings and compassion for every1...even strangers. You do have a clever wit about you which most do not possess...and at times I can feel you reach out to others...

I guess I was always that brooding child. The girl that would look at you in class, and then turn away and never look back again... I remember my teacher yelling at me, saying: 'What is wrong with you Pam??? Why can't you function like a normal person??'...

So one day, I wake up, and I know I do not fit it anywhere; and I am barely surviving here. If it were not for you, Glatt, and Mr. Toad, ...I would be out on my ass...again.

And living the idea that it couldhappen at any moement only adds to my anxiety. When i logg on, it says: 'Thank youfor logging in Pensive Pam.' ~ ~ ~ And then i have to wait for that half second to see if I have been 'redirected' to banishment... It is no way to live...

Having wine...................no one cares...any1way

I am a 12 volt cordless drill.

Outstanding. I have some screws that need countersinking.

It seems you aren't the only one around here with loose screws.

cheap, I couldn't resist.

A loose scrwew?/ Ok, lets do it. evey1 wants to see it...rght?? I want to see 'Emma'.' I do not want to get into a battle with her; but people wantto see that?? are u al l sick??

She has feelings to; and she is nottt me. ask glatt. he can tell you. and now drunk, rdurnk, drugs, u wnat to see hurtful people hurt eac other? I will beback someday; and i do not wish to fightt troll.

I justwaned to say sorry to MTPP.

MTPP = More than Pensive Pam....


Scary!


Sorry. Just couldn't resist that letter combo...


@Wolf and 3foot you just made me snort coffee.