Wisdom the Hard Way
 

What wisdom do you have to impart that you learned the hard way? something specific to you or your life - something maybe you could NOT avoid?

I discovered that I'd rather have a mastectomy than chemotherapy.

Love is a choice and has very little to do with who the other person 'is' -

and being alone is happiness. Hell is other people.

What are some of your hard won truths?

Contentment is something that has to be an inner thing, it cannot come from external sources.

Setting aside the obvious exception of clinical depression, happiness and contentment are a conscious choice. You have to reach for it.

Guilt over things said and done in the past is pointless and just keeps you awake unnecessarily for something that can't be repaired. Let go, move on.

It doesn't matter who likes or dislikes you, if you don't like yourself you cannot be comfortable in your own skin. Be kind to yourself, and that includes being kind to your younger self in memory.

Live in the now. Fantasy is lovely, daydreaming, I do a lot, but avoid daydreaming about the past, it brings yearning and can never be truly revisited, and avoid daydreaming about the future, it raises too many existential questions :p

The only way to avoid stasis and stagnation is to do/see/experience new things. If doing this is scary, try not to think about it too deeply just agree to things outside your comfort zone and deal with the panic later :p

Sometimes it's good to take on too many things at once. If I have nothing urgent to do, I will end up doing nothing.

Similar to the above, but: the Now is all that you really own. You can plan for old age, you can plan for when you move house, you can dream of your ship coming in. But the sky can fall in without warning at any time. So, grab what happiness you can and shape your life as close to what you want as you can get. Be honest to yourself about what that is. It may not be the thing you dreamed of when you were young.

Try to be flexible. Ride with the punches. Everything changes. This is the one thing we can be sure of. In times of trouble, know that it will pass. In good times, know that too will pass and try not to be phased when it does :p My life used to feel like a roller coaster of crisis and joy. Now, I pretty much stroll through life. I take things as they come, mostly. I find my happiness where I can, and have no shame in seeking joy in ephemera.

Never lend money you cannot afford to give away. In fact, consider it a gift rather than a loan, even if the recipient intends to (and does) repay it.

Good advice.




[eta] rofl. Don't I owe you some money btw? For tickets?

one tequila two
two tequila three
three tequila floor

Never ask for or take advice from anyone on an internet message board!

Ummm, yup.
I owe Limey too!
(and prolly you too Dana...)

If he puts you on too high a pedestal, you are 99.999999999% likely to be pushed off that pedestal, rapidly and violently, in the future.

Wear a helmet.

Oh girls, Glasgae Gurrls!
I most certainly did NOT mean it that way. (but yes, you do!)

lol

Oh Limey honey, it was just a funny connection that went twang in my brain.

@ Sundae: if'n you do, I don't remember what or what for. *grins* Buy me a meal in Covent garden when you go full time at work :)

No, Limey I did not take it that way either.
I had the same TWANG Dani did.
Mine was a twang of conscience though.

And when I've been in funds (not since I've been here, but actually I was, from 16-30) I've lived by that advice too.

Did you see my London update?
Mum asked more than once "Do you think your brother would like your underground restaurant?" (Belgo)
Answer - maybe. But we can't eat & drink there @ £5 per head.

The only person you have the power to change is yourself.

Don't look for someone to "complete" you. Get whole, THEN find another whole person to partner with. Otherwise, you end up with dysfunction.

Time passes too quickly. Relish every moment because once it is gone, it is totally gone.

Forgiveness is for your own well-being. Forgiveness does not mean to condone or to accept or to tolerate. It means you've let go of the anger and bitterness and freed up that spot in your soul for something more beneficial.

The only person you can depend on to fully protect you, is you.

Don't be afraid to be different. Celebrate your uniqueness instead of trying to be a pale imitation of anyone else.

Ooooh. Belgo was awesome.

Most things are not worth fighting over.

In my 20's I was full of wisdom. I had the answers to life's most profound questions. In my 30's I was partially wise. I could eek out a good thought now and again. Presently, I am content to celebrate the wisdom of others, having none myself. Looking back through the years, wisdom is highly over rated.

Never lend anyone money, even if that person says they'll pay you back.

Trust is a privilege, not a right.

No one on the internet is your friend, unless you know them personally.

42

A person will not change, no matter how much you ask, unless they truly want to. Even if the change would benefit them greatly.

Being smart doesn't prevent you from being wrong... at all.

A good dog will love you no matter what you have done. :)

And, being clever with wordplay and debate tactics proves absolutely nothing about the veracity of your argument. I learned that on the internet.

^WHS^

It's hard to take advice.

Much harder than giving it.

Do not attempt to use your truck to ford a stream where the water is over the axles. Your carburetor will take exception to this and the result is not pretty. :cool:

I've also learned that if you compare yourself to everyone else, you'll always fall short. EVERYBODY is fucked up. Those who appear to be perfect are just really good liars.

Wisdom the hard way.

What? All wisdom comes the hard way. Anything "wise" about me came the hard way. Everything I know that didn't live first--book learning at best, and I probably didn't get it the first time.

The corollary to this is how you know people. You might read or hear their words, but until you've witnessed their actions, you don't know them.

If you change your own oil, be sure to replace the drain plug before adding the new oil.

If you need a major part replaced (engine, gearbox) take the vehicle straight to a wreckers and have them do the replacement. Your mechanic will just buy the same engine and stick 50% on it, and probably charge more for labour, too.

Froma man's point of view, all women are crazy. From a woman's point of view, all men are blockheads.

On women: ( tongue in cheek, but seriously)

You can't understand women without a female brain, so don't try.

Women are all crazy, so you might as well pick a hot one.

Well, they come in different kinds of crazy, I think that should be considered.

No matter how right you think you are, if you're drunk, you're almost certainly wrong.

FTFY

Life changes instantly. Cherish the time spent with loved ones.
Tell them you love them. They may not be there in the morning.

Oh Classic. That's learning the hard way to be sure.

yeah. None of my lessons have been that hard learned.

Yes, Classic. Really that's the only thing, isn't it?

Amen.

And same to you, Limes.

We might lose Grandad in the next week, but at least he's in his 80s and it won't be unexpected. Nevertheless, Stevo and I are going over today to make sure we don't have anything to regret.

Much love to those who've lost family suddenly.

Thanks guys. I'm REALLY struggling with this fucking "new norm" that everyone talks about.

All the kids I work with go home at the end of the day. I try to keep that in perspective when parents are frazzled.

Gotta 'nother tidbit fer ya: Total security is an illusion.

Theres no such thing a the right to lie, and donot out the lord your god to foolish test...

yay! God's getting the donuts out for us to try!

I want yumyums. Will he bring yumyums?

she might....

Be polite. Be professional. Be prepared to kill every motherfucker in the room.

Don't stick a penny in the outlet, because it'll hurt when you wake up in the hospital.

When someone whips out a picture of their kid, remember, it's improper to say "Hey! A monkey riding a tricycle!"

Don't lie down in a strangers chalk outline.

When you wake up at the crack of Dawn, make sure her husband is still at work.

When she says "I'M FINE!" she means:

Female
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional

Roughly, here be dragons. As for dealing with the dragons, you're on your own. I got nuttin.

How about Triple Baconators? I want a double-lifetime supply of Triple Baconators!

Teenagers should take at least some of the advice of the people older than them that care about them.

When making bacon and egg toasted sadwiches ( :yum: ) firm yolks are better than runny yolks.

Disagree with your hard earned wisdom there, Zen.

I counter it with, never eat spaghetti at lunchtime.
Unless you cover your shirt with a napkin..

For some reason my brain read that as 'cover your shit with a napkin'

I was sat here wondering wtf you were talking about :P

Sundae, while I prefer runny yolks for eating, if you saw the front of the shirt I was wearing at the time, you would understand why with sandwiches, firm has its advantages.

Don't keep a supply of diet coke in the car in the winter in Michigan.

Yebbut, it's not as nice.
As Dani says - cover your shit with a napkin :)
'sploding?
I was given a miniature bottle of vodka and a can of Diet Coke for my birthday a couple of years ago, because my cow-orker couldn't make my evening out. Got home already trolleyed, put in freezer to chill, thinking I would drink it later. Fell asleep. BANG. Oops. Drank the voddie though.

Not only does it splode, but it freezes again allmost instantly, wherever it hit. Mmmmmm Cokesicles

Cokesicles - Proud sponsor of the Charlie Sheen Memorial Wing at the Betty Ford Clinic

Sundae, I was thinking of a regular old-school flat bread toasted sanger, not your fancy crimp-the-edges-together toastie a la breville.

I guess with the sealed-edge style runny would work.

No, I was thinking of the same.
Although I guess my very best fave was a bagel that I used to eat hovering over the box it came in :)

Do you think you would still get a runny yolk in a sandwich toaster?
How bout if I just put a raw egg in a sandwich in a sandwich toaster, it would come out well? ;)
I used to believe that if you put an egg on bread under the grill you would get scrambled eggs. Luckily I was too young to try it at that point.

You can put raw eggs and bacon in a sandwhich in a toasted sandwhich maker. and get breakfast to go.

Lesson learned the hard way - it's very hot !

Wisdom the hard way! Don't drink Turkey and drive.