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-   -   Victory Declared in War on Poverty! (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=25710)

SamIam 08-17-2011 11:41 AM

Victory Declared in War on Poverty!
 
VICTORY DECLARED IN WAR ON POVERTY

Quote:

In a stunning announcement, President Obama and House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor, stated that due to a new bi-partisan compromise between the White House and Congress, many of the poor have finally begun to surrender to Homeland Security and Social Security administrators in all 50 states. A major offensive by Homeland Security is also said to be instrumental in defeating the low income forces.

Some hold-outs are still fighting on, however. In New York City’s Central Park, around a 100 homeless people have banded together to throw rocks and empty Pagan Pink Ripple bottles at social service workers who have been trying to round up this particular group for almost a week.

In Minnesota, 187 low income elderly who had been attempting to live on small social security pensions, massed on the steps of the state capital in Greed City. These old reprobates hailed walkers, canes, and false teeth down on State Legislators who were attempting to enter the building for a vote on a bill which will make poverty illegal in the State of Minnesota.

Approximately 200 disabled New Mexicans who had been living beneath the radar on SSI are believed responsible for New Mexico’s upsurge of guerilla activity. Tourists in Santa Fe have reported being subjected to barrages of small, wooden “Santos” and numerous chile ristas thrown by people in wheelchairs and on power scooters. The gimpy banditos then hobble off down Santa Fe’s winding back streets and disappear. The ATF continues to investigate, but strong resistance in New Mexico’s largely poor and Hispanic mountain communities is not expected to end any time soon.

Meanwhile, in a surprising announcement, Mexico’s president, Felipe Calderón Hinojosa, has offered political asylum to any of America’s poor who can manage to sneak past Homeland Security and cross the border into Mexico. Hinojosa commented, “For years the US has taken in our poor. In these troubled times, it’s the least we can do to return the favor. Besides, here in Mexico, EVERYONE is poor. These poverty stricken gringos will fit right in.”

Republican John Boehner took a quick break from writing a bill that would demoliish the US Interstate system to dismiss Mexico’s offer. Boehner said that the poor will just sneak back across the border along with everyone else, disguising themselves as leaders of Columbian drug cartels to avoid detection. He favors rounding up the poor into Katrina type camps and confiscating their Medicaid and SNAP cards, as well as cancelling any housing vouchers they may have. He has also introduced a bill which will legalize the term “useless eaters” to describe the poor in America.

Boehner states that repealing medical care, food assistance and shelter will hasten the demise of the poor, and thus, speed the final solution for America’s spending on wasteful social programs. In the event of reincarnation, Republicans are also discussing legislation which would make it illegal for any poor person attempting rebirth in the US to be born to parents who earn less than $100,000. Any poor attempting re-incarnation with parents who earn $40,000 or less would be subject to immediate abortion.

Tea party members are especially exultant over these recent developments, and plan to donate the tax money which will be freed up to international conglomerates. CEO’s of such business entities would then stash the extra money in offshore accounts and outsource thousands more US jobs to third world countries. This will ensure continued unemployment (resulting in more poverty) in the US and the entire cycle could be repeated.

As they say, “The poor are always with us.”
- from Faux News

tw 08-17-2011 04:27 PM

Ayn Rand warned us this was coming.

classicman 08-17-2011 08:30 PM

Where on fox is that from? I can;t even google that and find anything close.

SamIam 08-17-2011 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751042)
Where on fox is that from? I can;t even google that and find anything close.

Uhmmm... Are you serious? :stickpoke

Just goes to show how bad things have gotten that parts of the OP might actually make someone wonder.

Bullitt 08-17-2011 11:13 PM

Conservatives hate the poor rah rah rah.



Next.

SamIam 08-18-2011 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt (Post 751060)
Conservatives hate the poor rah rah rah.



Next.

Two fun facts I have noticed about conservatives:

a) Many lack a sense of humor (not you, Bullitt, of course :rolleyes:)

b) As a matter of fact, many conservatives do hate the poor with a bitterness I never believed possible.

I was inspired to write the OP and inflict it upon the Cellar (and a few other places), thanks to the following thread that went on for 106 pages in another forum. I was stunned by the mean spiritedness and, yes, outright hatred of the poor displayed in the thread and the forum in general.

Quote:

Modern Poverty in America Includes A.C. and an Xbox
________________________________________
Oh the humanity!! There needs to be an increase in food stamps, Section 8 and more free stuff for the "poor".

Modern Poverty Includes A.C. and an Xbox - By Ken McIntyre - The Corner - National Review Online

What is poverty? Americans might well be surprised to learn from other government data that the overwhelming majority of those defined as “poor” by the Census Bureau were well-housed and adequately fed even in the recession year 2009. About 4 percent of them did temporarily become homeless.

Data from the Department of Energy and other agencies show that the average poor family, as defined by Census officials:

● Lives in a home that is in good repair, not crowded, and equipped with air conditioning, clothes washer and dryer, and cable or satellite TV service.

● Prepares meals in a kitchen with a refrigerator, coffee maker and microwave as well as oven and stove.

● Enjoys two color TVs, a DVD player, VCR and — if children are there — an Xbox, PlayStation, or other video game system.

● Had enough money in the past year to meet essential needs, including adequate food and medical care.
http://www.city-data.com/forum/polit...es-c-xbox.html

God forbid the poor have a refrigerator or be able to wash their clothes anywhere besides beating them on the rocks in a near-by river.

It's a big old Internet out there with many forums far more nasty than you ever dreamed of Bullitt.

Bullitt 08-18-2011 05:36 PM

I'm not even a conservative though. I'm a moderate that is fed up with the left/right bickering and over-dramatics on both sides. Ridiculous, made up stories do not help bridge the gaps between ideologies. All they do is further inflame tensions.

And as for forums, don't worry I'm well acquainted with the underbelly of the internet. But thanks for the condescending remarks. +1 internets for you.

SamIam 08-18-2011 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullitt (Post 751249)
I'm not even a conservative though. I'm a moderate that is fed up with the left/right bickering and over-dramatics on both sides. Ridiculous, made up stories do not help bridge the gaps between ideologies. All they do is further inflame tensions.

And as for forums, don't worry I'm well acquainted with the underbelly of the internet. But thanks for the condescending remarks. +1 internets for you.

I'm fed up with all the bickering myself, and I was NOT trying to be condescending toward you. In fact, I apologize if I came off that way. Obviously we don't agree. Life will go on. :rolleyes:

TheMercenary 08-18-2011 08:44 PM

I think they hid the food stamps under their work shoes....

SamIam 08-18-2011 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary (Post 751271)
I think they hid the food stamps under their work shoes....

That's where I stash mine! ;)

classicman 08-19-2011 10:50 PM

Sam, I gather your bullshit lies were directed at me, however you crappy OP piece does nothing to solve the problem, but only furthers the divide.

I've seen much worse by both sides on the net, so it should have come as no surprise to you to think one might believe it was true. The only part I disputed was the Faux reference. I should have known it was just more bullshit from the extremists on the left.

SamIam 08-19-2011 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751471)
Sam, I gather your bullshit lies were directed at me, however you crappy OP piece does nothing to solve the problem, but only furthers the divide.

I've seen much worse by both sides on the net, so it should have come as no surprise to you to think one might believe it was true. The only part I disputed was the Faux reference. I should have known it was just more bullshit from the extremists on the left.

Oh, Classic, I wrote an earlier version of that thing about 6 or 7 years ago for a little satirical mag I was involved in at the time. Back then people thought it was funny. Now we have all become so polarized that some people think I wrote it to be hateful. Not so. I took some of my own fears about what has been going on, and tried to laugh at them.

I have absolutely no desire or reason to attack you either directly or obliquely. Sure we disagree on stuff, but that's no reason to think I'm out to get you.

The entire thing was just humor, Classic. Maybe not good humor, but humor all the same.

People have mis-understood to the point where I wish I could just delete it.

Pico and ME 08-20-2011 12:01 AM

I liked the satire Sam. Don't let them make you second guess your intentions.

classicman 08-20-2011 12:12 AM

Posting in Current events was probably not the best way to go then.

It did nothing for humor in that it was basically all the bullshit that one sees daily from extremists.
It was basically one long inverted UG post. :greenface

I appreciate the clarification though. No harm, no foul.


ETA - Admittedly I only read the first paragraph or so before trying to corroborate.

DanaC 08-20-2011 07:31 AM

Well, I thought it was fucking hilarious Sam :p

Did you see the Daily Show segment the other day about Fox news and their reports on how the "poor" are no longer really poor, to the extent that they now put the word in inverted comments every time they use it...because apparently most poor people have a fridge and a microwave? Awesome piece.

I hear the same thing here about the poor. Though as yet we're not downgrading them to the "poor".

Trilby 08-20-2011 07:51 AM

What is of note is that a lot of conservatives also identify as Christian and Christ taught that the poor should be taken care of - they should be helped. They forget that part. They only remember the gay/abortion/gay/abortion/gay/abortion and gays having abortions and abortions creating gays and abortionist gays stuff.

Weird.

DanaC 08-20-2011 07:59 AM

lol very well put.

tw 08-20-2011 09:42 AM

A wonderful report in the Current Events section. Especially when it identified those who could not see a joke. That is a Current and never ending Event.

Spexxvet 08-20-2011 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751487)
It did nothing for humor in that it was basically all the bullshit that one sees daily from extremists.

With all due respect, that's the way I feel about most of the so called "funny" political pictures that you post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 751535)
Did you see the Daily Show segment the other day about Fox news and their reports on how the "poor" are no longer really poor, to the extent that they now put the word in inverted comments every time they use it...because apparently most poor people have a fridge and a microwave? Awesome piece.

Yes, it was awesome. I wish I could could post just that clip.

This isn't about left/right, conservative/liberal, Democrat/repubican. It IS class warfare.

Clodfobble 08-20-2011 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet
I wish I could could post just that clip.

Oh but you can! Unfortunately my laptop is now having video driver issues along with audio (getting repaired tomorrow,) so I can't hunt it down for you. But if you go to www.dailyshow.com and search through the videos link, you should be able to find the individual clip.

SamIam 08-20-2011 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tw (Post 751569)
A wonderful report in the Current Events section. Especially when it identified those who could not see a joke. That is a Current and never ending Event.

Thank you, tw, for not being one of the people to just read the first sentence and get all huffy.

And thank you to everyone else for your comments (especially the nice ones - I like nice comments :blush:).

Only someone who never read the paper or watched the news could not be aware of the very strong class element in the current US political scene. I mean come on, no new (old) taxes for the wealthy and the big corporations? Yet on the other hand, people living at 125% below the poverty level should sacrifice for "their country"?

Our most vulnerable citizens should sacrifice their housing, their food, and their medical care, so that the billionaires can continue to squirrell their money into off-shore accounts and create new jobs for the people - the people in Rwanda?

This entire mess is about idealogy - bottom line.

infinite monkey 08-20-2011 10:38 AM

I like to log in just to see who Sam is voting for in 2012. Sam, you are cracking me up! Goering. *snicker*

wolf 08-20-2011 11:49 AM

Poverty is winning.

Get back to me when something changes.

Trilby 08-20-2011 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 751596)
Poverty is winning.

Do you mean 'winning' in a Charlie Sheen sort of way, or...?

DanaC 08-20-2011 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet (Post 751570)
With all due respect, that's the way I feel about most of the so called "funny" political pictures that you post.

Oh me too! i've really tried hard not to be a jerk about it in the political pictures section, but there are times I've really had to bite my tongue.

Quote:

This isn't about left/right, conservative/liberal, Democrat/repubican. It IS class warfare.
*nods*

As soon as large sections of the population become generationally entrenched within their economic positions, low or high, and the mechanisms of governance and wealth creation focused on one or two of the sections whilst excluding the others then class antagonism is a factor.

I'm really not even sure I blame them. The upper class (the top tier, the elite, whatever you want to call them) are doing what they have always done. And, presumably will continue to do. They're defending their interests. And I am sure they do not feel they are damaging the country, because, for them it is their country. And they will shape it to serve their needs as much as they are able to.

Their biggest victory (as has been posted elsewhere here) is that they have managed to get so many people to work against their own interests and for the interests of that elite.

Reminds me of that parasite that can affect small animals and make them act contrary to their natural instincts. The infected mouse, intsead of scurrying in the undergrowth, comes out and parades about the ground making itself a target for a passing hawk; who nabs the mouse and ingests the parasite.

classicman 08-20-2011 11:13 PM

nice. now I'm considered a huffy parasite.
Excellent. Mission accomplished

DanaC 08-21-2011 01:11 AM

*sticks tongue out at Classic *

You're not the parasite dummy :p

Trilby 08-21-2011 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751695)
nice. now I'm considered a huffy parasite.

There was a Russian version of the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon only it was called Worker and Parasite.

I lol'd.

Sundae 08-21-2011 07:44 AM

Listening to 5 Live this morning (a BBC radio station) there was a lady who's worked for over 20 years to get families back into work.

She's now been employed by David Cameron (our Prime Minister).
Right up my street, right?

T e c h n i c a l l y...... yes.
But given that I'm rabidly searching for another job for myself - NO.
I'm not mocking her, dismissing her, criticising her.
But her apparent target (set by Govt) is 220 thousand families.

I can't get a second job.
Okay, I have time limitations - I can only work outside of school times.
But surely this applies to other mothers too.

And I have a food hygiene certificate, an enhanced CRB (Criminal Records Bureau check) computer skills, supermarket, bar and restaurant experience and so on and so on.

I have no criticism for people trying to get the jobless into work. Anything is better than nothing. It's just - selfishly - I wish they'd start with me. I've applied to work at two supermarkets. No reply. At two places the children at school go for birthday parties - no reply. At countless pubs & restaurants. No reply.

I'm not blowing my own trumpet here (yes I am) but I'd do a much better job than their current sulky-teenage hate-children staff. For the same wage. And I'd be bloody grateful for it too.

Driving me crazy.

Griff 08-21-2011 12:37 PM

My classroom aide's low paying job knocked her off medicare which she needed for her and her child's very necessary medications, thankfully she'll be full-time in the fall qualifying for the company plan... which will eat up much of her paycheck but is better than nuthin.

Sundae 08-21-2011 01:43 PM

Jobs are hard to find right now.
I'm not excusing people who have been on benefits since they left school - seems to me there must have been something, somewhere they could have done.

But right here & now, even relevant experience and being willing to work for peanuts isn't enough.

And any politician who doesn't know this needs a smack upside the chops.

I don't qualify for free prescriptions, but at least I only have to pay £14.80 every other month for my drugs (anti-depressants and GORD). And nothing for contraception or if I need to go to hospital - emergency or otherwise.

anonymous 08-21-2011 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751487)
No harm, no foul.

Actually, I think SamIam deserves an apology for that rude behavior

Spexxvet 08-23-2011 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC (Post 751535)
Well, I thought it was fucking hilarious Sam :p

Did you see the Daily Show segment the other day about Fox news and their reports on how the "poor" are no longer really poor, to the extent that they now put the word in inverted comments every time they use it...because apparently most poor people have a fridge and a microwave? Awesome piece.

I hear the same thing here about the poor. Though as yet we're not downgrading them to the "poor".

Here's the linky-dink.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/0...?ref=fb&src=sp

DanaC 08-23-2011 08:20 AM

Oh marvellous! Thanks for that Spexx:)


My favourite line in the entire show, which sums up how I sometimes feel when I end up in a political discussion with people on the right of the American spectrum:

Quote:

"You really have no f**king clue what Socialism is, do you?"
I swear to God if I have one more person try to argue that Hitler's Third Reich was a failed experiment in socialism I will literally puke in their virtual face.

And even those of my friends on the conservative side of the fence over here (yes, there are one or two :P)would have a hard time reconciling Barack Obama with calls of socialism. Seriously bizarre the shit that gets labelled socialist.



[eta] dang :P can't watch the clips outside US. Still, it's a decent write up and I can always get the full ep via links *grins*

BigV 08-23-2011 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna (Post 751700)
There was a Russian version of the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon only it was called Worker and Parasite.

I lol'd.

Prepare to lol again, if only in your beer, because it's back. In a number of instances, I've heard this description of the ongoing class warfare: It's the "Productive Class" versus the "Dependent Class". There will be more, not less, of this. I'm glad you can laugh. I hope I can learn to.

TheMercenary 08-25-2011 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751695)
nice. now I'm considered a huffy parasite.
Excellent. Mission accomplished

:D

SamIam 08-28-2011 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman (Post 751695)
nice. now I'm considered a huffy parasite.
Excellent. Mission accomplished

Think of yourself as a Fluffy parasite. You'll feel much cuter. ;)


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