Listen here, Cellar,
 

When I get a hankering to start posting at 11:43pm, you goddamn well better snap to it and start replying to my insightful drivel with an appropriate level of respect, awe, and, yes even a small amount of fear is to be expected. It's not every day you get to bask in the glow of a bona fide genius.

yes it is. for me.

Son, don't make me wash your mouth out with soap. I expect better than sass-mouth from the likes of you.

heh.

I eat soap and fart bubbles. and that's Mr sassafrass to you, whippersnapper.

Well, as Grandpa Simpson said about a good sarsaparilla, "It really angries up the blood."

Flint, meet Grynch. He's the sanest noob we've had for a while.

Grynch, meet Flint. He's very smart but also bat-shit crazy.

And you can save time with :smack: or :facepalm:. They're on the emoticons list, or you can type colonsmackcolon or colonfacepalmcolon. But, like actually use colons, ya know. :D

Actually, grynch reminds me a lot of you Zen. I was actually wondering if he was your sock puppet for a while.

Ali.... first of all... I ain't no-buddies sock puppet !!
( I asked mrs. G and she said I could tell you that )

Zen.... ya I know about those little guys but when I go for a face palm it's gotta be big time.

Listen here, Cellar.
Either I've entered the menopause early (but not tragically early enough to appear on TV shows) or it is bloody, bloody, BLOODY hot here.
And that angries up the blood and frizzes out the hair, I can tell you.

Oh, should add, bloody is not a ref to bleeding.
I'm just insanely hot and going insane.
And sweating like a paedo in a creche.

So be warned.
Facepalm me and I'll facepalm you right back. But sweatier.

gawd but Sundae makes me laff.

PS - anyone who posts giant pictures of Homer is okay in my book.

Bri - truth is i had my butler post it. Rich ya know ;)

Ha!

Here's his butler, Cadbury.

He appears to be carrying a bowl of Patatas Bravas and a Singapore Sling.
He can land in my garden any time.

(Not a euphemism, but could be)

Is it your secret garden?;)

No, just my sweaty bush....

Made me laugh.

No. You listen here.

When I get a hankering to start posting at 5:29pm, you goddamn well better snap to it and start replying to my insightful drivel with an appropriate level of respect, awe, and, yes even a small amount of fear is to be expected. It's not every day you get to bask in the glow of a fried genius' boner.

Never buy a cigar that says "sweet" on the label.

Bleh.

FIFY.

I'm terribly sorry to have deprived you of my presence, but some stuff happened and my schedule changed.

You'll just have to take my genius when you can get it, bucko.

With spelling like that, you could be zippyt's ...

wot is rong with my spellin' ?

I like you Grynch, and I not usually very good with newbies.
Can we keep you?

I'm still not 100% sure you're not an old Dwellar with a mew name.
You fit in suspiciously well (twirls imaginary moustache)

even after my rant about Roma's ?


and I'm a stranger to these parts ma'am
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...R_C1i_hdygRrMA

Your timing seems to be right for a European (based) Dwellar.
Sir, I believe I may owe you an apology.

none needed

Oh of course, you're a transplanted Merkin.
Even if you have been partly civilised by an Englishwoman.

I don't need to worry about being invited to take part in a duel after all.
Which is a relief, my duelling scars are least favourite feature.

Merkin???????????? *LMAO* I should hope not !!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin

Proof positive you're NOT an existing Dwellar in disguise!
Yes, I know the real word.
But it's how GWB used to say American.

And for some reason people don't like being called Septics (from Septic Tank = Yank).

Snicker.

I've been called many things ( some unprintable ) while in England but I do have to say... never a *merkin*

ok... time for stories?... I was once bought a pint of beer in a pub ( I think in Dorset ) from an old timer who heard my accent -- he said it was pay back from when he was a kid and American soldiers would give him the occasional chocolate or hard candy back when they were billeted in his village.

We had a discussion about the war here somewhere.
I was very much of the opinion that it was the height of bad manners for Americans not even born at the time to claim to have saved me from speaking German (this I do still believe).

But I asked my Grandad - who lived and worked through the Blitz because he was refused the chance to serve for health reasons - and he said that the Americans did save us. Note - not that they won the war, that was a joint effort. And we (Great Britain and the rest) had fought bloody hard to get to the tipping point. But that the Americans came in with all the money, the equipment, the man-power, the ammunition, the bravdo that came from not being embroiled since the start.

He and Nanny were in catering and frequently stole from the Americans because their families were so hungry. And large.

60 years after he still sees Americans as heroes.
So there you go.
He'd buy you a pint too. If he wasn't in a nursing home in Aylesbury, rather than a pub in Eastbourne.

Aylesbury.. there are worse places to be.... lovely little pub there just across from the stone circle.


EDIT.. or am I thinking Avebury ?

EDIT II, yep.. Avebury with the stone circles

are you starting to notice how a lot of my stories involve pubs?...
I walked into a pub in Essex ( Harlow maybe ) and the whole place was decorated with model Lancaster bombers.. RAF memorabilia..., etc..
so nosey yank I asked...
turns out there had been a Lancaster base there back when.
When I told the few locals that my dad had worked in a factory in Canada ( where we are from originally ) building / repairing Lancasters I couldnt buy another beer until I staggered out sometime much later than mrs. G expected me to.

God Bless all the old boys...and the new ones... I saw a TopGear last night about some Afghan amputee-vets preparing to do the Dakar rally

I have an Aylesbury thread if you're interested.
Many aren't :)
You can skim through and look at the photos though - I give you permission.

Despite the fears on some websites, American tourists are not disliked or despised here.
I know I'm preaching to the converted, but it's always worth saying.
I come across it reasonably often on travel websites "Should I tell people I'm Canadian when travelling in Britain? A friend of a friend of a friend was forced to walk because the bus driver hated Americans annd the whole bus cheered as she got off with her children who were crying."

Okay, not really that dramatic, but the fear seems to be there.

sure ... post the thread please ...
and yes in certain circles the "ignorant american" does exist
I told one of by brothers once I was driving from High Wycombe to Cornwall and when I told him it would take 4-5 hours he was amazed.. told me he didnt know you could drive 5 hrs. in England.

ummm.............ya.

and again... speaking of tourists I'm off to lunch and a bit of tourist watching

maybe I can help some young pretty backpackers adjust their straps.. or something.


BBL.

Just use the search facility.
I need some lunch too.

Maybe I can readjust my cat...?

Evidently you have been wholly assimilated into British culture...


It never ceases to amaze me how much of our culture is pub related. Of course, there are solid historical reasons for that, since they were, for a long time the public spaces for community at a time when private dwellings amongst the labouring classes were cramped and ill-lit affairs, and when a minority of people could read (lots of stuff was read allowed at pubs during the 18th and 19th centuries). But they've stayed very firmly in our culture into the modern age.

Every leisure actvity, or 'hobby' I have engaged in in my adult life has resulted in drinks at the pub. Caving and potholing (very minor flirtation, it was my brother's hobby) always ends in a pub (my favorite of which was The Martin Arms in Ingleton). Same thing when I hooked up with Our Kid after a climbing trip, and after he'd been diving, and after his parachute jump.

Joined a political party, and yes the meetings were held at the party HQ. But whenever we went leafletting, we all met at the pub after our round and gave in our left over leaflets and so forth.

Where are the poetry readings held? Library? Maybe I dunno, never seen any. Pub? Yes. Yes indeed. That'll do nicely. A storyteller you say? A proper old skool teller of tales? Guess that'd be at the pub then right? Yup.

it's something we Americans don't really have ... the corner pub.... certainly not in the British sense.

( that should start some arguing with the N.American contingent )

We don't have a "corner" anything, except maybe that one gas station at the entrance to the housing subdivision...

When we go out to eat, I usually like to sit in the bar of the restaurant. There's usually no waiting and now that smoking isn't allowed, I prefer its ambiance to that of the dining room.

Pubs, drugs and money, gynch.

your stories involve pubs, drugs and money.

I'm keeping track.

Please dont forget my chauffeur bri !!

I sit with my back to the wall where possible.
It's my SAS training.

I think it's more your sass training.

:p:

Don't be so modest, woman. Most of us love looking through your pictures and movies. I've often thought you'd have a career in travel or tourism if you had a mind.

Amen to that!

umm.... ? I know how this was meant but ............

http://lh6.ggpht.com/_hXM70CoCRWg/S3...ain%5B1%5D.png

Yea, I would for you to post more pics and captions of the places in your area. If I ever make it over the pond again I would love to visit your town.

Yay, smiles all round.
I'll get my camera out and about a bit more.
Gotta go into town tomorrow so I'll see what catches my eye.

ps..... no offense meant by the scarecrow.

Perhaps not, but somebody is bound to take umbrage, but not for the reasons you'd ordinarily expect.

Because he's implying I'm a friend of Dorothy?
Actually, where is Shel...?

That didn't quite come out right Sundae.... "I would like for you....." :p:

I'll look forward to it. Same for any of you other UK or Down Under Dwellers.... Show us where you live, give us a caption.

Oh no, you can't drive 5 hours in England. He's quite right. after 1-1.5 you must take a break. After three hours, you must stop for the night and continue the next day.

(just got in from a 6.5 hour no-stops stint from Iowa, fully Merkinized now. yes, we did all race for the bathroom. Thankfully we have several, being Merkinized and all.)

That always blew my mind about driving attitudes in the UK. We use to drive 12 hours one way to play rugby for one day, because we had to. When you mention that to someone from the UK they would have to take 4 days off to travel such distances and would rather not go.:)

Meh, depends on the person.

Like Grynch, we used to drive to Cornwall for our holiday sometimes.
And I've been a passenger up to Scotland by car. We stopped for a few hours, but that was to do with the time we left and when we wanted to arrive.

Drove through the night to get back home though.

Merc, driving for 12 hours to go to a rugby game is just wrong.
11 hours got me from London to Amsterdam!

Meh backatcha.