Sexuality, Impurity, and Uncleanleness.
 

Three sins that will cause you alot of problems.

Sexual Imorality:

I think I'm finally at the point where masturbation has lost it's fun. I've indudged into it to the point where I've considered homosexualuty, made a complete fool out of myself and now I can honestly say SEX IS OVERRATED. So the lesson I have learned is that sex is not a good outlet for self expression, and homosexuality is futile. I've only had ONE homosexual experience in my life and fear of turning gay is what has kept me from induldgind into the foolish act. People should realize that sex is a GOD instituted thing I really don't have much experiece with it but now that I have won the masturbating olimpics I can honestly say "why" would I want to.

Ipurity:

All SIN is impure. Ciggerets are evil. And there is NO excuse for doing illegal drugs. They make you lie, they make you sick, and if you choose that lifestyle your a fool. Jesus wants us to be "p"ure. It's hurts Gods feelings when you do evil acts and destroy your body. So my advice to the mainstreem is that if you wany to be righteous.. and I DO stear clear of bars and strip clubs. S-TAY P-URE do things that are uplifting and upright.

Uncleanleness:

I think this is going to be my biggest challenge. I don't have much purpose for my life so I am pretty much a total slob. Cleanleyness is Godlyness and God is full of righteousness. So the little things is what matters. IF your responsable with a little God will give you alot. And GOD want us to be clean. Sex before marriage is UNCLEAN. Illegal
Narcotics Are UNCLEAN. BE CLEAN, thats what God Wants, so stear clear of DIRT. Like internet porn. BE CLEAN BE CLEAN BE CLEAN don't "just do it", Do it with Style, Righteous Style.

This doesn't happen unless you're gay. Or at least bi.

There is another level below Gay, Bisexual, and Bi-Curious.



Sometimes people are just Bi-Curious for Halloween. Under these circumstances it is totaly not Gay at all.

Unless he only masturbates himself gay on Halloween, I don't think that rule applies.

Well, he didn't stipulate Halloween or non-Halloween masturbatory Gayness conversion.

Isn't a major determinant of gayness/nongayness who you fantasize about when you're masturbating?

Yes, but goddamnit, you're not paying attention to the important thing here: whether it is Halloween or not.

SURRENDER DOROTHY!

did I just say that out loud?

Apparently proper spelling is also a sin.

See, folks, this is what happens when you take your make-believe game too seriously. You start hating yourself for doing the things you want to do, because "they" want you to feel bad so that you need them to let you feel better again.

Set yourself free, dude.

Psychological meds can inhibit the sex drive. And given that this is a relatively lucid and readable post from you, I'm going to guess you're back on them. 1.) Talk to your doctor about your med situation. If not for the sex drive issues, then for the fact that they still aren't exactly putting you at optimal functioning levels. 2.) God loves gay people, even you.

Love and accept yourself JB.

Yes. Love yourself. fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.

I think it's your best chance, anyway.

Now, let's all join in a sing-along:

Are you confessing that you are actually JBKLKDBYDTRlyde?

Fair enough, it's probably your best chance, too. :rolleyes:

*sighs*

See, this is really not a good advertisement for faith.

Or for masturbation.

But bear in mind he has a very small advertising budget.
And is quite unhinged.

But he can turn water into whine! Why can't he sell that to increase his, um...er...budget?

He could get a Swedish Budget Enlarger.

That kind of thing is not his bag, baby.

It's not that I fixed it for you, per se. Mostly I changed it to be funny. Fixing it for you is not my bag, baby. :rolleyes:

Why has JBKlyde not revisited this thread?

He went blind.

I was more or less trying to confess and repent in this thread.. I think the US Government needs something called the Repentance Act..

"In the event that Government Becomes Too Overbearing, the People can Sue to have a Repentant Government. Furthermore All laws that are Deemped SINful in nature shall be expelled"

Sounds good to me!

Repentance is foolish unless you've harmed someone. Recognising your own folly and seeking to change it is another matter entirely.

Turns out shit dissolves sin.
Clogged up with sin? Go have a big poo.
Think someone else is chock-full of sin? Give them some Ex-Lax. Or a really big squeeze.

Ever wondered why confessionals look like toilet cubicles?
Now you know.
Ever heard someone say they need to get some shit off their chest?
Wrong area, right idea.

Lube that chute and free yourself.

So Mr. Klyde wants to turn himself into Dr Jekyll. Wonderful.

I'm all for people improving themselves. I'm also happy if they need to find religion to do it.

I think everyone at some point in their lives needs an external influence to lean on, be it family, friends, religion, the military.

I guess my only complaint is when they automatically believe that the exact same 'treatment' that they underwent is the solution for everyone else.

"I did three coffee enemas a day and it changed my life. Here, bend over and I'll show you....":cool:

I understand this. I understand why some judges give a choice between the military or jail. I understand why an aimless semi-alcoholic and his spouse may publicly embrace religion. One of the benefits of religion is to provide a social framework. This can be a social contract with the community at large and/or a social contract with oneself.

As long as people like Mr. Klyde apply their lessons to themselves, and don't pester me to join them, then bless them.

Well said Rich. Now, how do you feel about faith?

From the CONI cycling manual (as best I remember, I gave my copy away)

"Never follow a champion's training regimen, you don't know if he is a champion because of or in spite of his methods."

I think faith is important, but is not limited to religious faith.

What is most important is faith in oneself. Faith in a higher being can be important, but without the first, everything becomes 'Because G-d told me so' instead of 'It's the right thing to do'.

Faith in government and society. One example is that all US currency is backed by 'full faith and credit' and nothing else. If enough people fail to believe in society and the government which forms its foundation, what is left is a collection of anarchists and sociopaths.

The idiots who lose faith over minor differences with the current party in power or the color of the Presidents skin and who seem to contemplate with glee the whole 'tear it down and start over' approach really have no fucking clue what that means in terms of loss of life and quality of life. I can only hope that if they actively work towards and achieve a total breakdown that they are the first ones up against the wall when it happens.:rattat:

Beautifully put, Rich.