12/15/2002: Drunken moose
 

http://cellar.org/2002/drunkenmoose.jpg

This might have made a Friday, except that you can't really tell just from looking at this guy why the shot is interesting.

This moose is drunk.

Norwegians have been on alert for drunken mooses recently. It turns out that they had a long and exceptionally warm summer. This caused some fruit, specifically the apples that the moosies like to eat, to ferment right in the skin while ripening.

This makes me think. Wine and beer have been found to have been produced very early in history - just as early as the development of civilization. And generally they have a religious connection/connotation.

When you think about it, how could it not. You're a simple early people with little understanding of the world. Your tribe comes across an orchard or an area with natural vines. The fruit is sweet, but when the harvest time comes, it transforms into something that gives you visions, makes you dizzy and a little sick. It's all magic to you; you don't know there may be natural yeasts on the skins of the fruit, and you don't know when the sugar content becomes high enough for those yeasts to take an interest and convert it to alcohol.

You might conclude that God converted that fruit for you to get closer to him. And just as the fruit was at its sweetest!

The following year you take the fruit and squash it for beverage, and you make clay pots to keep it in. And the liquid changes! You put fruit into the vessel, and sealed it; now when you open the jar, the contents are harsh and bitter and give you the same visions as last year. More magic!

And then the older people in your tribe figure out that the people who drank the beverage did better than the people who drank the (unpurified) lake water. It's all over; this beverage is definitely a gift from above.

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."-- Benjamin Franklin.

See also: "Sumerian Beer" http://beer.tcm.hut.fi/Misc/SumerianBeer.html

Excellent post Undertoad! Now what's your anthropological idea on why people smoke thing?

Same thing! Except that, like a lot of weird practices that have some benefit, you have to wonder why someone tried it the first time.

But with so many billions upon billions of people on the earth, there are precious few things that haven't been tried once.

About alcohol- We did my wife's companies Christmas Party last night. Thing is, these parties used to be a blast. A beer blast specifically, open bar, loud talk, steam blown off, dirty dancing, business done, bonds made, blah blah blah. Well a couple years back word came down from headquarters, its time to clamp down on the boozing. I understand the liability fear dwi/wrecks etc... but the event that killed the Christmas spirits was a wig from corporate who traditionally drank until falling chose that year to fall down a flight of stairs instead of just falling in the john er something, stupid. So we had a two hour cash bar at the beginning of a six hour party. Its sad that we need to get hammered to loosen up and have fun but when the dj sucks its hard to keep everyone up. On the positive side, of the six couples at our table the chicks were all the company folks, we guys all had different schemes, cool.

Ogg prolly threw the wrong weed on the old cave fire and a good time was had by all.

"Be as bold as the first man to eat an oyster." - Shirley Chisholm

<blockquote><i>On a framework of tree sticks, meeting at the top, they stretch pieces of woollen cloth...When, therefore, the Scythians have taken some seed of this hemp, they creep under the cloths and put the seeds on the red hot stones; but this being put on smokes, and produces such a steam, that no Grecian vapour-bath would surpass it. The Scythians, transported by the vapour, shout aloud.</i></blockquote>
--Herodotus, <i>Historics</i>, .ca 450 BC

(While this is translated as "seeds", many modern authorities agree that a more correct translation would be "buds". )

I wonder if you could get close enogh to them to pet them when they're drunk?

I'd like to put a cigarette in Bullwinkle's lips and get a good closeup pic. :)

nit pick and anecdote.
 

i suspect that this photo was taken during the summer/fall as 'recently' in norway they are in the dead of winter and there ain't so much greenery going around....

....also....when i was a kid growing up, ok fine, when i was a kid as i still have much growing up to do....we used to watch robins get drunk on the berries from the moutain ash in our backyard.......

mmm.

drunken birds. *wap* *wap* *wap* the sound of them crashing into our bay windows after......

"Hey, Rocky! Watchsh me pulla fifth outta mah hat! *burp*"

If you want to talk brave, think about the folks who first tried mountain oysters...

<font size=1>"moosies"... heh heh.<font size=2>

Beer, wine, bread, cheese = mystical, magical inventions.
Forget the sex scandals- I think 21st century monestaries/nunaries have a definite recruiting angle here.

Let's examine this proposition. You want to sneak up on a 2000 pound drunken creature that comes complete with like 100 pounds of antlers, and pose him for a totally amusing picture. (which, incidentally, I'd buy a print of like that (*snaps fingers*) because I collect moose.)

Put yourself in the moose's place. When YOU are drunk, would you put up with someone sneaking up on you, even in a friendly manner, to pose you for silly pictures?

You'd kick ass, take names, and probably leave a couple leaky holes in anyone that tried.

Moose have larger feet than you do, and are pretty good at trampling things that annoy them. Even for no apparent reason at all ... I forget what website I found it on (ehowa.com maybe?) but I have seen some very impressive video of a moose stomping. Gives you a whole new respect for moose, actually.

I have a way with big drunken animals :) First I be nice. Then if that doesn't work I crack their fucking cranium with a louisville slugger. A good rugged pair of moose proof boots helps too.

Thats only the last resort though, for when the big dumb bastard cant keep the cig in his lips for the pic. ;)

<i> One guy says, "Gee, I wish I could do that!" The other guy says, "Don't you think you ought to pet him first?"</i>
Must have majored in...uh..."animal husbandry". :-)

Slang your not one of those people that try and pet the Buffalo in yellowstone are you :)

Yes, but you should see the photos!

If my parents owned a farm I would have been an animal husbander, er, well you know what I'm trying to say. I like animals.

Remember: You're looking better to the moose, too. He thinks you're gorgeous.

damn sexy to

If the moose does laundry and doesn't shit in my home, we're good. ;)

Would you settle for just doing the laundry?

The Shitting Moose Laundromat The one and only place you can see a moose do your laundry while shitting all over the place. :)

Sounds like an idea we can make some money with, have your people get with my people.

While you are waiting you can take shots at the big dumb bastard...:)

<h3>Note to Quzah</h3> This is a joke, please dont be overly offended at my lack of an apology or regret. I am sorry in advance for not sufficiently apologizing for the lack of an immediate apology.

Hey, if you want to hunt, don't let me stop you. I just think they should have a day where the round up the hunters, strip them nekid, roll them in honey, and turn them loose in the woods with starving grizzlies. I mean seriously, bears like 'people food', right? Isn't that something like the problem they're having in Yellowstone? Bears eating people food? :D

Quzah.

At it again! Drunk in a tree, no less:

Attachment 33823

Lil help?

Attachment 33824

I need a lie-down now...

Attachment 33825

More at http://news.ninemsn.com.au/glancevie...in-tree.glance

Hilarity! Great pics Zenny and what a great memory on you, of this excellent old IotD.

Moose are people too!

They cut up the tree! Wouldn't it have been easier to cut up the moose?

There were some funny and interesting people in the Cellar back then, weren't there!

I miss slang's threads about traveling to the Philippines (was that it?).

Undertoad I like your analysis on religion :D

And then they left the moose there to sober up.

I saw a video of the moose getting up the next morning and trying to run off. I don't think it felt too good. :yelsick:

Dont drink and drive you might spill it

:bong: