Talk to insects here
 

"Get lost, you fucking bee, I'll fuck you up."
(Actually a wasp, but I called it a bee to extra disrespect it.)

here is a bee story for ya! zippyt and all are flooding out while se texas is in a drought.....and yep, bee infestation.....

I like bees.

yabut not in your house i bet!! we are having problems at work with them as well. they zone in on the trash cans and hover all around them. like 100 of them at a time. no bullshit. we have to move the trash can next to the pit exit just to keep them away from the customers. we also regularly spray them (fog is more like it) with an outdoor sprayer. off i think it is. doesn't keeell them, only makes them not like it and move on......

Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

You've got to fight the powerful bee!

One of our major intersections in Phoenix had a swarm roll through it a couple weeks ago. We're talking an intersection with 3 or 4 lanes in each direction and people were getting out of their cars and running down the street because the bees had gotten into the cars. (windows, vents, i don't know)

holy shit! wow! reminds me of the movie the swarm! (and what a cast i might add!)

So, that whole "all the bees are dying" scare, is that over? I didn't follow too closely.

i sure hope not! sue bee honey is the bomb! back in the day they had hives on our old ranch in south texas and would give us a case every year. that stuff was great on almost everything. use it to glaze a brisket slow smoked? o.m.g. the list goes on......

I have a friend who is trying to be a beekeeper that may have info on that. She started two hives last year, but they didn't make it through the winter ... it wasn't the cold that got them though, don't know if it was the mysterious bee illness or some more common fungal issue that killed the hives. She's starting over again this year.

Can I say something to an arachnid?

Dear Miss Spider,

I appreciate what you do eating other bugs and all, and I think your webs are very cool, but you do not live in the house. You live outside. You try to come into the house, and you takes your chances.

Respectfully,

wolf

An oldie, but a goodie. Matthias Wandel's wasp sucking machine.

No, the bees are still having a rough time, but... last report I got from my local bee info people is that it is mainly hitting the "professional" bees. The ones that are trucked up and down the country following crops. It seems the relatively unvaried diet is not good for them. The smaller local hives that are subsisting on varied flowers are doing somewhat better.

Don't ask me to cite, I'm all about apiaral hearsay and gossip.

Jiminy Cricket, Grasshopper, that's the bee's knees!

dear wolf

respectfully, you have me all wrong. Are you saying your house is sanctuary for the bugs? I'd eat them too, I promise. You've nothing to fear from me.

I have references:



helpfully,

I. B. Spider

The real Itsy and Bitsy

are you fuckers mocking my thread?

Ohhh! I love Itsy and Bitsy!

No, we is extra disrespectin' it.

I always talk to my girls... Bees can't hear per se, but they feel vibrations so maybe it gets through to them. I had 3 hives die this winter, so am starting 2 more. In the second photo, the queen has a blue dot on her back for easy identification amongst the crowd. The impression I get is that there was a lot of winter loss this year. I'm just doing it for fun and some honey, and it's good for the gardens!

Dear Spiderman,


oh...wait...

Dear Earwigs:

No one likes you. You are grosser than gross. Why do you think you have to crawl around with those little pincher looking thingies on your stupid head? Do you actually bite, or do those pinchers work?

I bet you think this is going to be your year. A lot of rain, hot temps coming. Well, Mr Earwig, you have another think coming. Get off my lawn!

Bzzz Bz. Bzz,

Bzz'z bzzzz bz, bzz'.


Bzzzzzz,

Bzzzzzzz

Bzzz Spzexxzz,

Bzzzz bzz? Bzzzzzzz bzzzy bzzz.

Bzzz bzzzzzz,

Bzzzzzzzz

(Little known fact: there are no one letter words in the insect language.)

Hey mosquitoes, suck on this, assholes.

ƒukken bzz.

When my Dad hears someone talking to a wasp (Shoo! Get Away! Don't you come near me etc) he always shakes his head sadly and says, "As if it can understand..."

and then adds, "... everyone knows wasps speak German!"

It's a Daddism. Repeated ad nauseum, and then out of the other side to become funny again. My bro and I had a smattering of German, so always tried to back my Dad up on this. Unfortunately it's been years since either of us learned, and even though my nephew is taking German now, he's not what you'd call an avid student. He sees our family joke as a sneaky way to test him and won't join in.

Solution to Yesterday's bee-ogram:

Well geez spexx. Now my response seems almost nonsensical.

Nowhereman, I like your bees! :)

Nowhereman - Do you sell the wax? I use it for making lube (cartridge).

I love bee vomit on biscuits.

I also use bee vomit in my scratch-made BBQ sauce.

Mmmm...bee vomit. :yum:

One more time:

Bee vomit.

well I bet you use Mole asses in your recipe.

Is there a Jew sucking machine? Cuz i could really get into that! ;)

You mean like orange jews?

or jewjewbes

that hurt

Sorry, no. I'm just getting them going again. You might do a google search for beekeepers in your area, or check stores for local honey and get names that way. (Glad you specified cartridge lube...):D

I buy off ebay. I run a 50/50 mixture of tallow and beeswax . In the summer, I increase the wax slightly due to the heat. For tallow, we render buffalo and sometimes deer. I've recently been playing around with beaver oil. If it works, I might start selling "Big Sarge's Beaver Oil Lube". I think the shooters will get a kick out of the name

Mmmm...beaver oil.