Dear Penis Spam
 

I don't know who you are.

I don't care who you are.

Please don't tell me who you are.

Please leave me the fuck alone.

Kthxbai.

Someone's got a GF
Someone's got a GF
:eaty:
stalker

Dear Penis Spam

I am having trouble living my best life.
I blame Oprah.

Sincerely,
Cunting Crows

Dear Penis Spam,

I want to marry you and have like ten thousand of your babies.

Circle YES or NO.

Simmeringly,

Bastid Chile

Dear Penis Spam:

Why are so many people so fucking stupid?

Splintery,

Marcus Parkus

Dear Marcus Parkus

I think 'Marcus Parkus' is a made-up name and you might be trying to hurt me. But I will answer your question: People are fucking stupid because they have two brain neurons firing and that makes them think they are smarty-pants. Which is probably what you are. I have to go now. My landlords wife is having a wake right now and I have to be there to jump out of the cake.

Sincere in my Sincerity,
PEnis Spam

That's not funny. That's funny.

I am not now nor have I ever been Penis Spam
I have not been a Penis
I have not been Spam
I have however sent spam
But not here
Just sayin'

Dear PEnis Spam:

Marcus Parkus is NOT a made-up name. It was the name of my father and my grandfather and his father before him and his landlord before him.

Simulatingly,

Marcel Marceau

Dear Marcel

How many posts do you post in a row?

Like, seven?
coz, man. That's crazy.

Longing to love you longer,
Mr. Obvious

Why are you so mean to me? I have tried hard to make friends. It is not easy for me. I know my breasts are large, but that is the way God made me. You are making me so mad that I have torn all of the pictures off the wall. I reached out to one person who might live near me to be a friend. He said mean things about me. I am blind and it is not nice to make fun of me

Dear Penis Spam,

How many posts must a man walk down
Before he must puke on his shoes?

Sneeringly,

Artemus Confabulous

Dear Penis Spam,

It is very lucky you have such large breasteses that can act as bumpers as you are sure to bump into things due to your blindness. I'm going to design a pinball machine and name it Penis Spam.

Slovenly,

Tommy Mommy

That explains the hair...

*snort*

Is it possible to find true love with a person you have never met? I think I have. God guided me to this safe haven created by Mr. Undertoad. I have never met him, but I have read all of his posts. I can tell he was speaking directly to my soul without ever having met. We are destined to be together.

I don't know what to do. How do I show him our love is true? I think I know where he lives. Do I knock on his door? Do I send him flowers? I have even painted a portait of the two of us together in a sea of rose petals. I am afraid he will not love me because I am blind.

Mr Wolf and Mr Undertoad will not like you making fun of me because I am so pretty. women have always been jealous of my breasts

Pics, or STFU...

I have a pic on my profile and I posted in the RFN section. Please do not be mad at me. I am trying to make friends here.

Shouldn't that be Penis PAM?

Those boobs...not silicon.....not saline.....

Please shave. That shit is nasty.

Dear Penis Spam,

Why will you not answer questions? I thought this was an advice column. :mad:

Soberly,

Dear Abbie

I suspect that "Mr" Wolf will join in the fun if Wolf happens to notice this thread. :rolleyes:

Are you over 40? Don't women over 40 start growing a little facial hair? Maybe you could bleach it or something

Ovarian Hair Syndrome...

Ovarian Hair Syndrome? Is that what happens about the time they develop locator ovaries?

You can tell cause they grow hair on their chins and spend hours in front of the mirror trying to pick them out and look all sexy, to no avail.

Actually it is called polycystic ovarian syndrome.

I reckon you'll find plenty of us oldies with a few weird hairs growing here and there. I don't think it is any impediment to sexiness once they're gone, and I suppose there are some blokes who'd prefer them to be left on. lol

Dear Penis Spam,

I found the image of Osama's corpse in the mole on my nose. The hairs growing out of it made the beard. should I pluck the hairs and use concealer or cut the fucker off and auction it on ebay?

yours lovingly,
Big Sarge

lol!! pretty damn good

That's overian here syndrome.

Genius.

We've been Zenged!

Hang on, hang on... Are the cysts really little hair follicles? I thought they were supposed to be just tissue. If that's what you meant, that's incredibly creepy.

OVARIAN follicles, not hair follicles.

better?

What's it called when she can't locate her ovaries?

Cuz...I don't think she can.

See that's what I thought, but then he's all talking about calling them hairy ovaries, and I've heard of cysts that can by their very nature be formed of completely incorrect body tissues...

These are tumors that affect the endocrine system. One of the possible side effects is excessive hair on face, etc