The most important mission, ever.
 

Congratulations! You are the next lucky contestant on "Survivor". No, this thread isn't dedicated to the show itself, this is a place where you make plans to bid farewell to the normal, boring, everyday confines of rural society.

I am going to be gone for at least a week and I am taking with me only things I can carry comfortably with both hands, and aside from the clothing on my back- here is my list of mandatory items for my vacation in hell, each with a helpful explanation:

1. Motley Crue's "shout at the devil", 'cause just holding the cd gets me very excited.

2. Okay, I lied a little about my list. I am wearing a LED ZEPPELIN t-shirt because it is my way of letting others know that LED ZEPPELIN is #1, and if they don't like it then they probably won't like me either and should just like get the hell out of the way and like get to know someone else and stuff. Dude.

3. I'm not wearing any pants.)

4. Alright I admit I lied about the helpful explanations. There's the guy that did it, GET HIM!

5. I lied about everything. Survivor sucks!

6. Attention defecit RULES!!

Sorry, dude. I just have a really hard time following most of your posts.
But they are extremely entertaining.

As intended, entertainers have a need to entertain- especially when they are broke. Another joke. Hope you like it!

DON'T YOU LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND, SHE'S THE ONLY ONE I GOT, NOT MUCH OF A GIRLFRIEND, WE NEVER SEEM TO TALK A LOT, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN ALL THE WORLD'S ASLEEP, PLEASE TELL ME WHO I AMMMMMMMMMM

They are killing me on this island- should have just called it joe's island. Oh, I brought a picture with me. I just remembered, in my back pocket (subject to change). It's a picture of rosanne barr, oops. WRONG PANTS!

Day two-
 

I'm still here, haha.
I'm STILL here, hahahaha!
Ahahahahahahahahah hee hee hee!!

I don't know why anyone watches television. Call me crazy and I will only agree with you as my opinions and values are very left center. Anyways, I just found out that I can do a belly flop very well and it brings back old memories. Darn, should have packed some aspirin. Today the picture is the cover of crazytown's debut cd, and save for the head and back ache I am feeling so wonderful just gazing at it. Looks as though none of the other contestants cared to participate. What can I say, when you are good you're good! Oh no, its an anachonda! AAAAAHH!!

Day Three-
 

Dobrialee. I do not know what this means. Found it etched in the sand where I am standing right now, I have a funny feeling that I am not the only person upon this island, perhaps a native drew this. Do-Brya-lee? I dunno. The water is too salty to drink out here and I swear that I banged a coconut against a very large rock last night until my hands were bleeding, but the salt water does make the pain from the cuts subside a whole lot. This isn't as much fun as I had once expected, but I do love a good challenge. I think I am going to stick it out a while longer, and the toilet paper sucks too!!

Re: Day Three-
 

Croatoan.

Rosebud.


:-)

Re: Re: Day Three-
 

Aha, I was correct! The native(s) may be even more intelligent than one might be led to believe, based on the savage appearance of their environment. Thanks for that tidbit of knowledge, I will keep you posted of any further developments and mysterious discoveries!

If and when I make it back to the states, I am going to create a t-shirt for my next adventure that has "MaggieL" all over it! MaggieL!! MaggieL!! MaggieL!!

Not to mention "Wilson".

And tomorrow is "Friday". Coincidence, or evil conspiracy by the Illuminati? You decide.

Matter of fact, and plainly speaking-
 

I was just about to inscribe the name "maggieL" upon the very racquetball that did fit so comfortabely inside one of the pockets of my shorts, but then I thought to myself the heck with it. No one has to know that I wrote "Castaway" too. But originally, it WAS in there I DO admit it whole-heartidly.

: )

Day two- no, wait...uhm FORE!!
 

I am etching across the warm sand a message for the rescue planes to view. I'm not really certain if it will be all that legible but if so, will probably appear to be maliscious and most profanic in nature. Oh god my nipples are so sore, I always hate it when this happens. This is just plain awful. The worst day ever. O' Elizabeth I believe I'm comin' up to join ya'.

: .

Today's wild draw pic.

Day six- the final battle
 

It's all over now. I am actually being rescued, by lions. Big hairy ferocious lions. Goodbye cruel world, it's been a trip and you never did actually "have your way" with me. I'd rather die THIS way than to spend the rest of my days being mauled by YOU. "Mauled and devoured by lions", I want that on my tombstone "but he kept his soul".

P.S. Just kidding, I made the lions up and I am not really on an island suffering miserably.

PSYCHE!!

: )

Psssst-
 

Wanna' know a secret? Just wanted to say hello and sorry it's been a while. I'm working less online and more on my home. Talk to you later,

J03

: )

By the way, which version of "dreamer" do you prefer? Supertramp or Ozzy? Just curious, as they were both sung with a retainer in my mouth. Thank heavens that in the field of orthodonics, there is an unsuspectful maker of "vocal" gods!

It's all in the upper left ear, I snuck it in :]
 

Wonder years-
 

What is actually happening-
 

When too many people try to access a real audio, or wmp media file at the same time it breaks up quite frequently. That REALLY sucks.

In other news, OLD revelations..hooray for boobies mamas boy begins with call to mother of childhood friend named tom
as i emulate his voice and she says hello tom. I got the idea from him for words that rhyme with "magina". she does say "jeff" at one point of the prank call.

Next song three point one four, my birthday is 7/22. fact-

gotta go see who replied to what-

luvs and hugs and kisses, j03; )

More goodies.
 

s3cr3t_m3554g3z

N0w th15 1z m1 1d34 0f 'l33t'. 1 d1d n0t d0 4n1 0ph th1z 0n m1 0wn. Ch33rz!!

New page.
 

Just another example of howrock stars make very poor role models.

Since jo3 has changed his signature to Cheap Trick, I feel compelled to point out how I really want to like Cheap Trick but I am routinely offended by their hard-core fans.

It seems to me that anyone with a preference for power pop should worship Cheap Trick, and it seems to me that Cheap Trick took power pop an interesting direction and that more pop should have the cock-sure swagger of Jagger or David Lee Roth. Of course this requires the happy certainty not generally found in power pop's 7th chords, which are more built to go with the pensive attitudes of lost girlfriends or unrequited longing or what have you. But somehow Cheap Trick figured all that stuff out and produced a non-wussy style of pop, and survive for the long haul, good for them.

But it turns out that Cheap Trick fans are more likely to be guys who were all ready to rock out and then realized they couldn't exactly rock out while wearing a collared shirt, and their girlfriends didn't really want them to rock out anyway, and rocking out seems silly from the front seats of a Honda Accord, but Cheap Trick was the nearest thing to rocking out that would be allowed.

At the time, yes.
 

As it turns out, that is exactly what I drive currently. And am I any cheaper these days? Not at all,you see that I still insist upon you responsibly bringing your own- regardless of brand and nature of your own very poison. We tend to 'chugalug' ourselves into a blissfull state of ignorance around here. But if you have another passion in terms of another way out, there are two other extra beds hereabouts and you had better bring more of that stuff for just one. :)

You can find "Ash" at-
 

hotchicsrealaudio.net

under the field or 'button' of "albums".You can fnd "Ash" here, at (click)

Just click on the banner that says "ALBUMS". Then, click on a group named 'ASH'. Thank you.

Re: At the time, yes.
 

Joe, is that the same Ash that did the song "Goldfinger" that was popular about 5 or so years ago?

Yes, the same but "Goldfinger" was released in 1977. I have been singing since the early seventies. Abba would be just about my absolute first group as a very young child. That makes me want to laugh very hard, especially the existance of the Syd Barret stuff. I'm sure that I mis-spelled the name but I am just waking up and I am still smiling.:)

There's nothing at all wrong with the Accord, especially now that the 2003 version is faster than my own car which was supposed to be the original pocket rocket.

The Syd Barrett stuff, I will maintain, is unfit for human consumption. There's nothing beautiful or alluring or hopeful about acid-drenched schizophrenia. Ask wolf, mental illness is no fun. Leave Syd in peace.

Oh, and any relation to Daniel Ash of Love and Rockets and Bauhaus fame?

You nailed that one right on the head! You will hear the same voice by another name on the "Black Rebel Motorcycle Club" debut cd, aka "B.R.M.C.". There are some really cool melodies on that one, which really was intended to be love and rockets originally. But I already had my suspicions and held on to the good stuff for my next agent, someone I knew that I could trust. You won't regret reviewing the cd, that is if you can find the samples at a website such as CDNow, or Amazon, etc..That is just too cool that you thought to ask a question like that, I almost totally forgot!:)

1977 was actually the name of the CD that said song appeared on, but it was released in 1996. :)

Thank you for pointing that out.
 

Doh! I was thinking the James Bond "Goldfinger". Roger Moore is still my favorite to this day, and in '77 I believe he made his debut in the spy movie "Live and Let Die".

Ash was first conceived and the vocals first recorded in 1977, I am well aware this wasn't their debut cd- but still possibly the first batch of recorded vocals for the group of accompanying musicians. I did actually play the lead and rhythm guitars on "free all angels".:)

And the name of the very LAST 'track' of 'Nashville Pussy's' final cd IS.?
 

OUTRO

For whatever reason you make such a impossible request as I still live and breathe-
 

Syd Barrett- We really gave it our best for "see saw" on "piper at the gates of dawn" for some meathead with a tape recorder at the playground and never did get paid for our original vocals. Sorry that it has to be this way, Syd Barrett- R.I.P.:(

Hidden tracks, trails-
 

Nashville Pussy intro- Coal Chamber hidden track(I did this for pu55y!/ All I wanted was a COKE!!)- Limp Bizkit "All I wanted was a pepsi, just one Pesi" "Where you at, Fred"/"KID", Rock hidden track "Devil without a cause", also ties in with final hidden track of "chocolate starfish". Just a handful among many to come.

:)

Joe, I'm sure you know that the "pepsi" deal is Suicidal Tendencies, right? Of course...that's YOU on the vocals for the newer version, isn't it?!

What do:

Eminem
Jonathon Davis
Kid Rock
Fred Durst

All have in common? Two agents.:)

Just shoot me-
 

Today's top secret featured artist of the day
 

Ben Folds. He allegedly hates fred durst and wrote many of the lyrics on his latest release of 9/11/2001, "Rockin the suburbs" as a verbal attack against the metal rapper. What really gets me is that I am just now hearing this from a co-worker, and I had totally forgotten the piano and vocal tracks that were actually conceived and recorded back in 1984. Fortunately, I am more like fold's these days.:)

P.S. This was given to the "nasty" agent who never actually intended to pay me for the work while attempting to seperate myself from my family and eventually was successful. I will do you one even better, the spitting image of the guy taking video & onstage credit for the vocal performances of "Queens of the New Stone Age".

Ben Folds is my God, and you did not write any of his works.

I have no reason to reply angrily, nor in haste-
 

I can only thank you in kind for your admiration. I will not post a "smiley" face here in closing because the voice of your MTV god does not wish to offend you in any way, shape or form. I am not the deceiver. You prefer the cloned 'image', perhaps?

If I were God-
 

Thou would not worship false billy idols- bloodhound gang.

Hooray for boobies!!;)

The song is aka "hell yeah", so go right ahead Jimmy and Pop! You did not originally write or sing it.- courtesy of another most anonymous spokesperson for 'jiffy pop'('a' parenthesis).;)

Extra specially added additional thought- if the voice of Atlanta Rhythm Section and the original voice of the Bloodhound Gang got into it with one another, who would win? Appropriate response, both mother fuckers.:)

Re: I have no reason to reply angrily, nor in haste-
 

The correct quote is: "Mom! Dad! It's evil! Dont touch it!"

After all, it was *concentrated* One drop of that could turn you all into hermit crabs.

Re: Today's top secret featured artist of the day
 

So, you were responsible for Kyuss then as well?

Re: Re: I have no reason to reply angrily, nor in haste-
 

You seem to be a woman who is after my heart with a reply like this. Thank you so much for having taken the time to do this. Not that I'm feeling frisky, but the one on the right resembles my mother most favorably. It's been a very long time since I have seen her, it feels almost like decades, literally. I can't wait to see her christmas morning and to plant a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek or her neck or her ear. Maybe all three, I dunno.:)

I am honored!

Re: Re: Today's top secret featured artist of the day
 

It's a very safe bet. And about the first or the last time I ever handed recordings to any agent without written lyrics, I was very upset at the time. Things seem to be looking up slightly, I remember using only two tape recorders and cheaper quality tape than previously with dead milkmen. Sorry I didn't reply sooner, but I wanted to do some research before possibly putting my foot into my mouth again. Cheers!!:)

Hey, "Ben Folds Five" guy, they sure picked a good one for the job this time and I do mean that most sincerely.:)

Amusing Occurance-
 

The name fred durst came from the local LA phone book, and was picked at random with my eyes shut. I liked the name and it was the only fred durst at the time. I was ringing a customer up at work and when it was time for him to pay up he slid his credit card through the slot, signed the credit slip and left like most ordinary customers. I was holding the store copy in my hands and it said in big bold letters FRED DURST. His phone number is no longer available through the phone book or I swear I would have called him and probably had a few laughs.;)

There was a time that I wrote Playboy and shared a little information with them. I told them where I worked and of my schedule. I believe they investigated my story and one night shortly after, the workplace was full of stage performers who probably thought that I had the means to pay them for their efforts. I checked them out while I believe they studied my words and mannerisms. A few of them looked at each other and said things like "yeah, I'll shove this cookie up your ass", and "you better have faith muther fukker". They walked out and congregated out in the parking lot, most civily I noticed shortly after as I went to take my break outside. Just before I took it, the "fred durst" stage performer ran into the store and looked as though he had the wind knocked out of him. Jaw open and glaring about the front line of registers our eyes met as I nodded my head with a smile. It seemed as though he was running laps around the store in search of someone I else. I sure hope I didn't almost ruin his or anyone else's life for informing playboy of a few facts. None of the interviews in the magazines you may read are bogus, save for there being an alleged interviewer. I wrote "minority report" in 1984 for tom cruise, and the mtv interview was also shot back in the same year, with the exception of cruise's end which I also wrote for him, word for word. What can I say, he is one incredibly sexy guy!:)

Def leppard's "x", was merely a diversion from the stories behind the cd covers. There was an 'x' in the skeleton's ribcage inside the picture from the back of the 'ash' cd that was handed to agent "unforgivable" for his absurd course of thought and action(s) at the time. The same one who took "x" from my sixteen year old hands. 1984- line the 'x' inside the ribcage with the incense burner from the cover of ben folds "rockin'the suburbs" and have a ruler handy. That stream of water flowing from the bottle strikes at the very edge of the glass, as planned! The name of the girl who took and developed both pictures is Candy Campbell. I hope that someone here remembers to tell her I said that. I don't know what her last name is, since she married someone who could actually provide for her. Money that is:)

I'm only going to do this one more time, and feel free to ask questions I may or may not answer to the best of your satisfaction. There was a time when the doors only had a few good albums available and during the mid-seventies I provided the vocals and even some of the keyboards for "l.a. woman", "the soft parade", concert tracks and albums such as "american prayer". This wasn't the only act that actually fizzled out in the late sixties we re-vamped, but it will be the only giveaway. You will not be able to anger me into uncovering any others.

I don't mind sharing this with you, though- at the very tail end of the vocals for "diary of a madman" you can hear robert plant's voice during the final few seconds. I slipped that one in there. Have you seen the bridge? There is that confounded bridge. "Bonus" tracks were only issued on remastered cds and cassettes. "Diary" was the final song originally.

You can hear a brief allusion to the doors on dm's "bitchin' camaro".

Thanks for reading and digesting, please do not respond angrily- this is another simple reminder that I am not the deceiver. I don't believe any of you would like to call robert plant the devil, and even the agents themselves are actually pretty cool people to work with. We will be paid one day or you could bet they would not be so obviously within our physical reach.

Merry Christmas evwrybody!!:)

I CAN'T SEE!

I know it's early y'all, but HAPPY NEW YEAR anyways!;)

1984- Wrote Charlie's Angels (2000). Requested an agent to have Bill Murray in the film as Bosley. MY name is Charlie and this little tid bit of truth can be proven very easily. Why 2000 if written in '84? I dare not say for personal reasons, this has been anything but an ordinary life.

Pdiddy-
 

Remember that Pdiddy re-mix of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" for the "Godzilla" soundtrack? I cringed when I first heard it and stomped my foot on the ground in different places and different days whenever I heard in on the local airwaves. Funny thing was I'm responsible for the damn thing, all of it including the police re-mix of "every breath you take". You don't need to refresh my memory as to why that version was allegedly written and recorded so. I'm kind of like Rip van Winkle and too know who actually killed rappers 2Pac and Biggy Smalls. R.I.P. my unpaid and undead brothers in the show biz industry. The very person who killed them is the same person who invented them. Not that he is especially a fan of the genre these days, and I'm not going to say who this person is or they'll probably kill me as well.

Just Saying Hello-
 

HERE I izz.

Weren't the Siamese cats originally in Lady and the Tramp? No...wait...lemme guess...another one of your projects?

BTW, your link is not working.

Umm, no.
 

It was 'Fantasia', and the link - it DO werkz. Not your fault though, sorry. Dip trip, flip fantasia.:)

Re: Umm, no.
 

Nice..... a little Us3, did they sample your stuff?

Re: Re: Umm, no.
 

US3 was another one of my projects, but so what? I only want to be white these days. They sampled my voice and I offered all of the musical direction as I didn't have sampling equipment of my own at the time. But so what? Is US3 really that big of a deal?

Re: Re: Umm, no.
 

Only after he stole it from me. We were desperate for money, and drunk as could be. He "bought" it from us for $6.29, a horse with an arthritic right hind leg, and 3 boxes of Twinkies.

Re: Re: Re: Umm, no.
 

My dear boy, you were already kicked off of this island before you were ever born. Payment not accepted, cash is beyond useless at this point. Your cause has always been lost. Go figure.

Why would you dare challenge the god of air? I had tea with him and the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland the other day, and he is not happy with you.

I avoid hot air at all costs, and the only "challenge" I forsee is to bring myself to forgive you when your own time has come. In the meantime, I am planning on forgiving my "enemies" to the very best of my ability. No promises though, and there's nothing you can do about it with the exception of perhaps attempting to change the way I will remember you. But you probably won't, so why should I care anyways?:)

Re: Just Saying Hello-
 

Hey Lizzy. That's almost half of me anyways. I'll be adding d-j tonight when I wake up. I will protect you, no matter what those power hungry drug fiends may suggest. Take them up on their offer(s) and I am sure even your own instincts will tell you that they would only rape and rob you as well (I have never allowed this to happen to me to this day). Please don't let us down, not that I don't have faith in you to make the right decisions for all of us. I know that in more ways than one you are a very high caliber woman, and also that your name isn't 'Lizzy' and acknowledge the very fact that I meant to make that one up (for my own reasons), and you know who you are. I've seen it for my own self and in my own way too many times to even consider that you are even thinking of playing me for money. Your blue contacts are so very absorbing.;)

Done, almost entirely with numbers.
 

#1- My God is the man who takes to the stage as "Robert Plant".

#2- My life long best friend is Michael J. Fox.

#3- My favorite t.v. dinner is 'mexican'.

#4- Pissing makes me feel better sometimes, if not always.

#5- So does shitting.

#6- The bible is a good book to have upon your shelf, somewheres.

#7- To be continued.