Why, oh why?
 

This thread is a place to ask questions that probably no one else on earth cares about and that there might not even be an answer for. You might also call it the "Andy Rooney/Have You Ever Noticed" thread, or the "Nice Attempt at Comedy There, Kenny Bania" thread.

This is also a thread to put your smartass answers to the questions if you don't know the answer. The smartassier the better. Of course, if you have the real answer feel free to share that, as well.

I started this thread because I seem to have had a bout of curiosity about irrelevant or unimportant things.

I'll start:

A sleeve of sliced bagels: why are two sides still connected? You don't find the bread slices still clinging to each other when you buy a loaf of bread. Are there uses for bagels that require the halves be inseparable by anything other than the finest of cutlery? Are we giving the bagels themselves some sort of in-package security that they will not be torn asunder from their better halves? Do they think connected bagel halves, and the need to "fix" them, give us the feeling that we, all by ourselves, are responsible in some way for the actual making of the bagel?

Really, why?

Why are the bags of coffee so hard to open ?

I have enough trouble with unwrapping a cube of butter.
Opening a new bag of coffee is just one more way to screw up my breakfast.

I don't know about other people's thoughts.

Your bagel is probably sliced immediately after cooking. It is hot, thus enabling the chemical reaction to go on and permiting the two halves of bagel to reunite.

They've figured out how to let bread cool before they package it. I'm not talking bakery bagels, I'm talking about processed mass-market buy'em 5 to a bag bagels. :D

lamp: coffee packaging is designed to jump start your brain a bit: same effect the coffee later has, just in a smaller version. This way, your brain doesn't blow up from going from 0 to 60 too quickly.

Cooling takes time... and time is money... at least in industry.

Why, oh why?

What is the haunting refrain of the debut single by Canadian singer-songwriter Sarah McLachlan, for $500, please?

Nice theory, but you are not familiar with the bagels in question. They are not cut all the way through. They are cut from both sides with a section in the middle that is left uncut to hold the two halves together, and you have to tear that little strip to get the two sides apart.

I think it's because people think of a bagel as a unit and they don't want to purchase a bag of bagel halves. There were probably market studies done years ago when the practice started and this was the preferred option.

Why oh Why oh Why-O
Am I still in Ohio???

What she said.

glatt: you, sir, are a genius. I bet you're absolutely correct.

@ foot: I don't know...possession?

Where oh where is the stupid drawer? I finally found the damn pliers but I can't find the room the stuck drawer was in. They didn't freaking move it. And where's the white key?

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(I like to play escape games on my lunch hour.)

This is the Why oh why thread, not the Where oh where thread.

What? Oh, what?

I'm not familiar with the packaging of American bags of coffee, but if they are anything like Australian bags of coffee, then why not just use a pair of scissors?

We have reverse gravity here--all the coffee would fly out.

:)

OK, in keeping with the title of the thread...

Why, oh why do I need to get scissors or a knife to open a bag of coffee ?

There's a special hell (very intense) for those who design packaging

Coffee is a unique product, with unique packaging needs. After the beans are roasted, they need to be vacuum packed right away for freshness, but they also "outgas" for a while. So they need a flexible vacuum package with a completely airtight seal, and a little valve that lets air out, but not in.

Coffee beans eat Brussels sprouts? :whofart:

I did not know that! I've always wondered why there was so much room in a coffee bag.

Nice UT but I don't buy it (the theory, not the coffee). Some coffee here is is bags like you describe, but other brands are vacuum sealed in(to) solid block shapes, and once you break the seal by cutting (scissors, lamp, a kitchen can never have too many pairs of scissors) the package becomes floppy. (fnar fnar, I said the package becomes floppy!)

It depends on how good you want your coffee to be. The stuff in bricks is pre-ground of beans that have sat around and outgassed before packaging. Coffee snobs such as myself would consider that stale, and it results in a harsher cup.

Also, we got used to "bad" ways of packaging coffee before all this was worked out. S'only in the last 20 years that they worked out a way to vacuum-pack AND have the little one-way valve AND have it all be cheap enough to work.

She had a couple non-starter albums before Fumbling towards Ecstasy. Are you thinking of I Will Remember You off that or an earlier cut?

That I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

OK I'll buy that. Over here the valve thingie is sold as a way to sniff the lovely coffee smell.

No, I was making a joke, Vox was her debut single, and "Why Oh Why?" is the haunting refrain. cf the youtube link cued up to that spot in the song. I was phrasing it a la Jeopardy. Creating a question for an existing answer. If you and Shaw both missed it then I will retract my attempt at humor. For years I thought she was singing "Hawaii" not, "Oh why eeee eee eee?"

WHY do old giffers get up from their seats and push in front of me when getting off the bus?
I'm a polite person - I let them. I barely even roll my eyes.
But then they shuffle along in front of me at zombie speed.
They take a year to get down the step.
And once we're all on terra firma I immediately do my Formula One impression, leaving them in my slipstream.

If I knew I was the slowest person on the bus, I would let other people past.
If I knew someone else was already queueing to get off I would not push in front of them.
If I had manners... Oh wait - I'm getting to the bottom of things here.

Bloody rude OAPs.
Just because they had a war once.

:( humor impaired *sigh*

Don't feel bad Griff, 3-foot's way too advanced for most of us, in the obscure humor connection category. He comes up with some brilliant ones, that fly over mere mortal's heads. Occasionally I'll read one, then hours later say, Hey, wait a minute. :haha:

I got the jeopardy thing and knew what you meant when I listened, but I thought possession was her debut single.

That's OK, I'm music impaired.

I HATE being out-obscured/joked.

:blush:

I like hearing the hiss of air that comes out of the brick shaped ones when you open them thereby breaking the vacuum packed seal. (Alright, alright...small things amuse small minds).

Not to be picky, but that's air going in, when you break the vacuum seal.;)

Well, that took the air out of her sails...

Surely that's the curse coming out?
Like in the Mummy's tomb?

I think it's probably that the bagels are harder to package if you cut them all the way through.

I think having the faces of the two halves together keeps them fresher.

We could do an experiment.

What is the sound of one hand fapping?

Impossible to say since it is said to induce deafness. :right:

but only in one ear.

Hey Bruce, that's why I keep coming back to the Cellar...so much to learn, so many misconceptions to be corrected. ;)

see Roe v. Wade

Damn, you're funny.

Why oh why do they try to cram two weeks of work into the final day before a holiday weekend?

Because the holiday vacation is only about a week long.

Long ago I realized that if I took a week's vacation, everything before and during was on my desk when I returned to work.
But if I took a 2-week vacation, others would pick up some/all of the work, and my desk was relatively clean when I returned.

(That's my free advice to young managers and supervisors for today)

Why oh why do students try
To do everything at the last minute
And then they cry?

Really folks, financial aid isn't 'instant' you don't just ADD WATER. :p:

Why Why Chicken Thigh

Don't start that again!