Great lines
 

My favorite movies/tv shows are the witty ones. This was from a House we watched recently:

Dr. Gregory House: Now go stick a needle up her hoo-hoo and find that cancer.
[goes into his office]
Dr. Eric Foreman: [shakes his head and smiles]
Dr. Robert Chase: [looks confused] Hoo-hoo?
Dr. Eric Foreman: He went to Hopkins.

"The Hammer" is my penis.

One of my favorite House-isms:

House (to a five year old girl at her daycare): Do you have hair in your nono place?
_________________________
from "Unforgiven":

Little Bill Daggett: You'd be William Munny, outta Kansas. Killer of women and children.

William Munny: That's right, I killed women. And children. Killed just about everything that walked or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill.

I couldn't find it with google, but I remember House saying something like "If you are assuming, you make an ass out of u, and some guy named Ming." But I don't think that was quite right.

An early M*A*S*H espisode: Trapper walks into the tent and asks Frank "What's so absorbing, junior?" No laugh track, so it was like an Easter Egg. I never forgot that line.

I like English Hugh Laurie. :sniff:

Mary Wilke: I'm honest, whaddya want? I say what's on my mind and, if you can't take it, well then fuck off!

Isaac Davis: And I like the way you express yourself too, y'know, it's pithy yet degenerate. You get many dates?

_________________________

Isaac Davis: I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.


from Manhattan

Come on, Shawnee, that was deliberate... and better than the original :lol:

Hahahahah! Seriously, HOUSE was taking the original (which I believe I first heard on the TV on McHale's Navy...the ass of u and me thing) and making it into the joke which I alluded to. I really don't remember how he said it, though. It might have been "When you make an assumption, you make an ass out of U and some guy named mption" but that doesn't sound right either.

:)

There's a bunch of great lines in Ghostbusters. One of my favorites:

Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.

Upon seeing a stack of books in the library, Dr Venkman says wryly: No HUMAN could stack books like that.

Old Lodge Skins: Don't worry my son, you will be back with us, I dreamed it last night. I saw you with your wives
Jack Crabb: Wives, Grandfather?

Old Lodge Skins: Yes, there were three... or four, it was hard to tell. It was very dark in your teepee and they were under buffalo rugs as you crawled among them. Anyway, it was a great copulation.

_________________________

Jack Crabb: Grandfather, I have a white wife.

Old Lodge Skins: You do? That's interesting. Does she cook and does she work hard.

Jack Crabb: Yes, Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins: That surprises me. Does she show pleasant enthusiasm when you mount her?

Jack Crabb: Well sure, Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins: That surprises me even more. I tried one of them once, but she didn't show any enthusiasm at all

from Little Big Man

Weird coincidence. I saw that for the first time this past weekend. Good movie.

I haven't seen it in a long time. It is great!

"It is a good day to die! Thank You for making me a Human Being! ...."

Sonny: So what country do you want to go to?

Sal: Wyoming

______________________________

Leon: He won't listen to anybody. He's been very crazy all summer. Since June he's been trying to kill me

from Dog Day Afternoon

from "Good Morning, Vietnam"

Adrian Cronauer: You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

____________________

Evelle: [about the balloons he just bought] These blow up into funny shapes and all?
Grocer: Well no... unless round is funny.

from Raising Arizona

Sage advice too,
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!

I also found this rifling through the quotes ( 'cause I wanted to get it right, not make some half assed vague interpretation NTTAWWT :p:):

Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.


make current view on things is often summed up by:
Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.
Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?
Willard: I don't see any method at all, sir.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

True fame is being featured on the Simpsons.

The American President

Sydney Ellen Wade: Yeah... I gotta nip this in the bud. This has catastrophe written all over it.
Beth Wade: In what language? Sydney, the man is the leader of the free world. He's brilliant, funny, handsome. He's an above-average dancer. Isn't it possible our standards are just a tad high?

You folks have never met me...I'm Czarina, I found this forum stumbling, thought I'd stick around, test the waters.
House quote: "If you could reason with religious people, there would be no religious people."
movie quote: from Man With Two Brains...."Goddamn your drunk tests are hard!"

I remember that movie, Czar...Steve Martin. Which made me think of this line from Parenthood:

[Gil has been complaining about his complicated life; Grandma wanders into the room]
Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.

Hey Shawnee...'Stands With Fist' + Shawnee...are you Native American? I'm 1/8 Cherokee. 'Wendy Running Mouth' is the one that stuck for me.

Another from Man With Two Brains:
"You cooked her nines!"

The Shield
Shane Vendrell: "Eatin' ain't cheatin'."

Vic Mackey: [to Dutch] "Just attack it like you're hungry. Like the wolf."

The Breakfast Club (It's really about the last line, I've included more for context):

Claire Standish: So academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs.
John Bender: Ah... but to dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian Johnson: Well, in physics we... we talk about physics, properties of physics.
John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?

And virtually everything R. Lee Ermey says to his Grabastic Pieces of Amphibian Shit in Full Metal Jacket.

Gunny Hartman: You climb obstacles like old people fuck.

Gunny Hartman (paraphrasing): If God wanted you over this obstacle, he would've miracled your ass over it by now.

And, the greatest line from "Full Metal Jacket";

Gunny Hartman: You look like the kind of man that would fuck another man in the ass and not even have the god-damned common courtesy to give him a reach around. I'll be watching you.

As I understand it, filming was halted after that last line was delivered, as Ermey had to explain to Kubrick exactly what a "reach around" was.

another ghost busters classic - last line of the clip

The main character, Preacher, a mountain man, is talking to Eddie, a little boy, about wolves...

~ William W. Johnstone, from "Forty Guns West"

Ronny Cammareri: I ain't no freakin' monument to justice! I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride! You want me to take my heartache, put it away and forget?

--Moonstruck