The Cellar - Banana Akhbar!

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- - Banana Akhbar! (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=23141)

Quote:

The People's Daily, a newspaper produced by China's ruling communist party, has either been hilariously pranked or has out-reported every news outlet in Afghanistan to secure the scoop of the century. The outlet today reports that the Taliban in Afghanistan is "training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops." After 16 years of war and nine years of battling the U.S., the Islamist insurgents have decided to arm monkeys with "AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns in the Waziristan tribal region near the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan."

The Chinese author, who apparently believes that PETA is more influential than the 31 percent of Americans who oppose the Afghan war, tries to explain what's happening. "Analysts believe that apart from using 'monkey killers' to attack the American troops, the Taliban also sought to arouse Western animal protectionists to pressure their governments to withdraw troops from Afghanistan."

I think somebody is jerking The People's Daily's chain. :rolleyes:

at least the troops will see the enemy coming.

All we have to do is airdrop a load of large frogs onto the battlefield and the enemy will be busy butt-ƒucking them in the mouth.

I suspect this will work on the human taliban too

I thought you were talking about the human taliban...

bwahahahahhahaaaaaaa

Shit! You owe me a new keyboard.

LOLZ.

It could be the same Chinese paper, or maybe not, but a few years back one Chinese paper echoed - in all seriousness - a story from The Onion that the US government was threatening to relocate out of Washington unless the city built them a new stadium with retracting dome roof. :lol:

Training monkeys with guns, eh? How many training accidents are they going to have before they are combat ready?
And are there really that many monkeys in Afghanistan? In fact, are there any? I don't think so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 670229)

And are there really that many monkeys in Afghanistan?

There's plenty of monkeys allright.

It's just that they're all high on the smack.

johnny chimpo is from Afghanistan

http://www.jc.irishultimate.com/images/logo.jpg

It's Afghanistanimation!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 670102)

All we have to do is airdrop a load of large frogs onto the battlefield and the enemy will be busy butt-ƒucking them in the mouth.

I suspect this will work on the human taliban too

But they were promised virgin frogs in the afterlife -isn't that worth waiting for?

I really hadn't noticed much difference, so I wouldn't wait.:2cents:

Sure...they LOOK harmless enough. Now I have to wonder how many monkeys in zoos across the country are actually part of Al-Qaeda sleeper cells....

http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x...69/bj-bear.jpg

Who remembers the show BJ and the Bear? Was Bear really learning to drive a semi to transport a truck bomb by watching BJ?

Next, they will be training monkeys to hi-jack the aeroplanes!
Ahahahaha! Go get some bananas. We have war coming up baby!

It's clearly marked on that monkey's shirt that Here Comes Trouble!

How much more of a warning do you need?