They can put a man on the moon, BUT...
 

Why can't they make a deodorant thingee that doesn't self-destruct all over my bathroom floor when it runs out???

Wow! Cool! Can you document this in image form next time it happens and post so we can see??????

Because your mom.

get one of those deodorant crystals. Then it will just shatter to pieces when it hits the bathroom floor.

Actually, we can't send a man to the moon just now. Really, we have no spacecraft that could do it, and NASA have thrown out the plans for the ones that did. AND the plans for the non-disintegrating deodorant.

@ zen - snort!

The problem with mine is that is virtually clear and there is no warning when its empty. So instead of applying deodorant all one is doing is sanding the underarm area with a piece of plastic.

Use a bay leaf - you'll smell like soup[/George Carlin]

Because in space, deodorant chips never hit the floor.

Well played sir.

:lol: ... so many MBA astronauts do not understand this basic principle ...

And while we're at it, how come we can't undo a fart?

That's definitely the laws of thermodynamics.

... but I' not dating.
Maybe they sent my man there?

They can send a man to the moon, but they can't make a date stamper that doesn't piss ink all over your hands?!?!

I'm not liking the combination of dating and pissing here....

That's one of my brother's favorite comedic clips.

So, we say that a lot.

And we also say: well would you LOOK at that? Just look at it!

They can put a man on the moon but they can't make a desk fan (to drown out gum snaps and counter humidity) that doesn't sound like a damn Boeing 747.

I wish they would let you test fans in the store. Damn things are always boxed up.

I know. You can't believe the box that reads "whisper quiet" any more than you can believe Wal-mart "How May I Help You" vests.

(But I shouldn't say that...a lady running the self check out lanes stopped me and gave me a discount on a case of diet coke because it was on sale somewhere else. They say they'll match the price if we see one lower elsewhere but I never think about it or ask. She just did it to be helpful. I just like my vest jokes.)

We bought one good fan in a variety store like 20 years ago. It just works. You can hear it, but it's not too loud. It's a fan. It blows air. Cools you down. What else can you say? It works.

So recently we wanted a second fan, and went to Target, and bought one. Figured it was a fan. It would do the stuff fans are supposed to do. But it makes a hell of a racket and if you step more than 3 feet away you can't feel a breeze unless it's on high. But then you need earplugs.

I guess fans are becoming like toasters. You need to research them to find which ones are good. If you just go buy one, it will probably be crap. Why does it have to be this difficult? It's just a damn fan.

Planned obsolescence.

I was just thinking the same thing about these shoes: I need a cobbler. Everything is made cheaply and is throw-away.

What's a tinker do these days? They used to fix toasters and stuff. There's nothing to tink anymore, I don't tink.

Me, too. MMmmmm..............cobbler

http://img4.myrecipes.com/i/recipes/...l-630082-l.jpg

Is that bacon cobbler?????? :lol:

Apple. Apple pie. Apple cobbler. Apple turnover. Apple is the only fruit that belongs in a pastry. ;)

Not so fast there, grasshopper. The very best cobbler I ever had was strawberry/rhubarb. Strawberry cobbler is too sweet. Rhubarb cobbler is too tart. Together - perfection.

I love strawberries, I don't like strawberries in anything. Rhubarb is the yuck.

I might eat a pumpkin pie, or ice cream or chocolate pie. Even my cheeseburger pie. But no other fruit pie except apple.

Why don't they make a Cherry Celery Pie? Huh? Huh? I'll tell you why: because it's a bad idea!

Or Blueberry Asparagus Pie?

:lol:

See that's why strawberry/rhubarb is such a magical thing. Not all flavors go together. But strawberry/rhubarb is special. Really.

You should try it. * Uses hypnotizing eyes on IM *

I'm sure that I've seen it around. I've heard of it. Even heard of just rhubarb pie. But I don't like rhubarb.

*giggles* I have a friend who KNOWS I cannot stomach mayonaisse, but she will talk about her deviled eggs, or her potato salad (things I cannot stand) and be like "NO, you HAVE to try MINE." She can't get it in her head that I do not like. Anything I say I don't like and I just HAVE to try THIS one or THAT one. Like I'll have some kind of revelation: angels will start singing as the clouds open up and sunshine rains down on my face.

Like another friend was talking about these meatballs this girl made. She put sauerkraut in them. I hate sauerkraut. "Oh yeah, but you can't even TASTE the sauerkraut." So why bother putting it in?

Yes, I am strong in my convictions when it comes to foods I will not eat. ;)

It's peach cobbler. Try some. No, really, it tastes scrum-dilly-icious.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

No.

See post immediately preceding your post. ;)

They can put a man on the moon, but despite my father buying better and better TVs, our reception is shit in the kitchen and the back bedroom. You have to switch it onto Sky to get a good reception in the kitchen, but only if it's the same Sky channel the person in the living room is watching. Ahem, I would be in the living room if I was watching the same programme.

And it used to be that you could get a decent reception up here on the terrestrial channels. Lord alone knows how this one is wired up (Sky used to be on channel 6 - BBC1 now appears to be on channel 8)

It's something that apparently be fixed when we switch over to Digital?!
I have my doubts.
These new TVs should be crystal clear, not look like a colour version of the moon landings. Something is wrong somewhere.

inveterate tinkerer here (ha). You don't have a cobbler nearby? I have two within five minutes drive (probably some hopping joke there, but I'd drive). Bummer.

Oh, I'm sure there are shoe repair stores, but when the heel starts falling off the rest of the shoe is usually worn and crappy looking anyway.

Since I don't buy Manolo Blahniks, it's cheaper to just replace them.

I always have a couple of cobblers nearby.

Definition of COBBLER
1: a mender or maker of shoes and often of other leather goods
2archaic : a clumsy workman
3: a tall iced drink consisting usually of wine, rum, or whiskey and sugar garnished with mint or a slice of lemon or orange
4: a deep-dish fruit dessert with a thick top crust

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cobbler

You always have a couple of clumsy workmen nearby? :)

People are like that with dogs too. "Oh but you'll just love my Ruffkin, he wouldn't bite you, he's more liklely to lick you to death" Like that's a good thing? ugh.

Ha, this same friend is that way about dogs. About any pet, really, except fish. She just plain doesn't care for them. She's not a hater, and is nice to friends' dogs, but would prefer them to pay attention to someone else (ME! I get all stupid and lovey with doggehs.) I don't throw dogs at her thinking she'll all of a sudden LOVE them. :lol:

Tell you what, I'll try some of your mayo if you'll kiss the dog on the lips

They can put a man on the moon, but they can't put corn starch in a packet you can use without spilling drifts of it everywhere. :mad:

You need NASA's zero-G cornstarch tubes!

Why aren't there marijuana pills?

Ever heard of cookies?