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-   -   April 28, 2010: $5544 Sex Toys (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=22619)

xoxoxoBruce 04-27-2010 11:03 PM
April 28, 2010: $5544 Sex Toys
 
Antique sex toys... antique wooden sex toys... antique French wooden sex toys.

Quote:
Two historic sex toys thought to date back to the 1700s have been sold at an Essex auction for £3,600.
..........................http://cellar.org/2010/historic_sextoy.jpg

Quote:
One of the objects measures 10in (25cm) and the other 11in (28cm).
Staff at the auction described the sex toys as "extraordinary and exceptionally rare". The catalogue description read: "Designed to please Lot 340 - an extraordinary and exceptionally rare "Travel Godermiche". "A pair of wooden phallus contained within a fitted kid leather covered Treen case with strap fleurs-de-lys decoration. The case, although having a re-lined interior, appears to have aged commensurate with the phallus.
Rare? Yeah, it's not the sort of thing that gets handed down for generations, or listed in your estate inventory, for that matter.

Oh, and the auctioneer was Wendy Wood... Wendy Wood's wooden woodies? ;)

link

SPUCK 04-28-2010 04:39 AM
I fixed it for you..

Quote:
aged commensurate with the phalli

Just think of the rare VD you could get from them!

Antimatter 04-28-2010 04:52 AM
Now who wood have though of that?

tim 04-28-2010 05:22 AM
palli phalli
 
Some dickhead, probably ...

tim 04-28-2010 05:37 AM
... ooops! First post!

I certainly wasn't aiming at SPUCK (and certainly no disrespect intended)!

xoxoxoBruce 04-28-2010 06:52 AM
No problem, Tim, welcome to the Cellar. :D

monster 04-28-2010 07:12 AM
tim, you're fitting right in already -just like the phalli, presumably

ZenGum 04-28-2010 08:00 AM
You'd wanna watch for splinters.

In Japan, ye olde dildoes were made of stone. Trick was to warm them up in a bowl of hot water first.

ToastyOhs 04-28-2010 08:14 AM
That's a lot of money for something to hide in your underwear drawer.

Sheldonrs 04-28-2010 08:34 AM
Not to gross anyone out or anything, but those were made of bleached pine originally. :D

xoxoxoBruce 04-28-2010 08:47 AM
No, 10 & 11 inches of maHOGany.

Sheldonrs 04-28-2010 09:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce (Post 652235)
No, 10 & 11 inches of maHOGany.
You sure it's not cherryPOPPINwood?

rditlkustoleit 04-28-2010 09:29 AM
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a...
Oh I see, these are clearly hard candy.

dmg1969 04-28-2010 11:55 AM
Does anyone else find it ironic that the auction was held in Essex?

Cloud 04-28-2010 12:14 PM
dunno, but I'm still hung up on "Wendy Wood's wooden woodies"

huzzah!

Shawnee123 04-28-2010 01:21 PM
How come that one nut looks like a buckeye?

birdclaw 04-28-2010 02:08 PM
I would think that for $5544 you could buy something that was pretty spectacular in bed. :p:

Shawnee123 04-28-2010 02:11 PM
Nah, I cost WAY more than that! ;)

monster 04-28-2010 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 652309)
Nah, I cost WAY more than that! ;)
How about a six-pack of Miller Light and 20 Marlboros?

Sheldonrs 04-28-2010 04:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster (Post 652325)
How about a six-pack of Miller Light and 20 Marlboros?
You had me at "how about".

Shawnee123 04-28-2010 05:00 PM
She had me at 'h...'

monster 04-28-2010 09:18 PM
Is there anyone i haven't had?

lumberjim 04-28-2010 10:06 PM
no

SPUCK 04-29-2010 04:38 AM
That guy who bought the woodies in EsSEX got the shaft(s).

xoxoxoBruce 04-29-2010 07:11 AM
What makes you think it was a guy? ;)

GlassJaw 04-29-2010 07:56 AM
Kinda brings new meaning to the topic of "Morning Wood", doesn't it?

glatt 04-29-2010 08:00 AM
Way to decloak after five years, Glass Jaw! Will it be another five before you post again?

Laurie Henderson 04-30-2010 07:57 AM
"Designed to please" how many?!?!?

GlassJaw 05-01-2010 11:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by glatt (Post 652416)
Way to decloak after five years, Glass Jaw! Will it be another five before you post again?
We'll see... ;)

xoxoxoBruce 05-01-2010 11:45 PM
That's the spirit, don't let anybody force you into a commitment. :lol:

Trilby 05-02-2010 03:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawnee123 (Post 652295)
How come that one nut looks like a buckeye?
because you're from Ohio. Everything looks like a buckeye to us.


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