Stupid Excuses
 

We hear them all the time. One of my favorites, when the student doesn't want to do the stuff that's required of them before they borrow large amounts of money:

"It won't let me!" (not IT as in Internet Tech)

They mean the computer won't LET them use their PIN, or it won't LET them fill out the form.

Yeah, the software is set up to determine ahead of time if it likes you or not, and it won't LET you do anything if it doesn't like you.

It wouldn't be garbage in/garbage out or anything. Or, a more honest thing to say would be "I DON'T WANNA DO IT. I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. DO IT FOR ME." They will certainly be rousing successes in class, because hardly any classes call for computer work or problem-solving skills. In fact, I think if you talk to the professor they'll do your work FOR you, if your computer won't LET you. :lol:

What are your favorite excuses you've heard?

I'd like to read your post, but the sun is in my eyes, my shoe is untied, and I stepped on a cow.

I've gotta clip my fingernails next week

I have just decided that I am too skinny to do my homework. How's that for a bad excuse? :)

I think I posted this already, but it bears repeating:

Cow orker called (late) to say she wouldn't be able to come to work because...

her boyfriend fucked her too hard the night before and she was having trouble walking.

That was her excuse for not coming to work.

"What is the maximum range of an excuse?"

"Zero Meters Sir!"

Even in the short time I've been working as a TA I've managed to translate "Mrs O-, I don't under-stand!" to mean, "Can you come and give me enough hints that you are effectively doing the work for me?"
The class I'm in is full of wonderful, intelligent children.
But such is the human condition that they will always try it on with a newbie.

I'm wise to them.
Except when it comes to cutless-making.
And I enjoyed that too much to say no.

Merc, I like that one!

Shawnee, are you sure you don't work at a Uni in Adelaide? Same old same old everywhere, I guess.

At first, I thought Squirell did a typo. But as it turns out, I think he typed it on purpose. Why do you call your co-workers cow orkers?

Cellar tradition. ;)

I think it started out as one of those typos that speaks to an underlying truth

Wasn't it Shaw who started that?

Wolf, I think?

It's all over the interwebs this site tries to blame Dilbert

Yeah, but only for popularising it.

Coupla years ago, one of the swimmers on the summer team said "I can't swim fast today, I'm lactose intolerant" :lol:

Can't make it in today,Dave, I got the explosive diarrhea.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my feet. I can't stand work.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my eyes. I can't see myself getting anything done today.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my bowels. I don't give a shit.

I cant make it in today. I have something wrong with my genitals. I don't give a well there are many more, you figure them out.

This isn't really an excuse, but it's kind of funny.

Student was all ticked off at the paperwork she had to fill out to get extra money. So, she was fussing and moping and grumping. She said "it's like pullin' teeth around here."

She hadn't a tooth in her head, by all reports. So, I guess she knew all about that.

One of Mrs. Dallas' cow-orkers once called in tired. "I can't come to work, I'm tired."

Yeah... we've all been there. But we weren't too stupid to put up a better front.

And yes, the term cow-orker was around before Dilbert.

Chap who worked (sort of) for my language school in Japan once called in sick, because it was rainy that day and he "might get wet".

That excuse wouldn't even work in Australia. In Japan, you are expected to swim to work with a broken pelvis, if you must.

This one is boring as all buggery, but it's still my favourite...first came across it in Japan and still hear it on a regular basis...it never fails to make me laugh...
"I have a fever".