The Cellar - April 19, 2010: Donkey Ball

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April 19, 2010: Donkey Ball

Donkey Basketball, playing basketball riding donkeys, has been around forever. When I was in school, every year or so, they would have a game in the school gym... usually teachers against students.

Neatorama noted an article on the KOMO website, about a recent game at Snohomish High School.

http://cellar.org/2010/basketball.jpg

Why is this news?

Quote:

But not everyone thinks it's fun and games. Animal rights activists quietly protested outside, saying it's simply cruel. "The donkeys are pushed, kicked, shoved, and prodded to do something that is unnatural for them and confusing," said protester David Schirk. Some say the event is bad enough, but having it at a school makes it worse. "I think it sends a really bad message to children on how to raise them and cruelty to animals and to all beings, and what does that teach our children?" said protester Carol Guilbault.

In my experience, they never went to some farm and dragged a bunch of donkeys into the gym. It was always a professional outfit that supplied everything but the players... uh, human players. It was always called Donkey Ball, but that may have been a trademark of the outfit everyone in that area used.

Quote:

But Bruce Wick, who owns the donkeys, says the animals are well-cared for, and really enjoy playing the game. They're trained to follow the ball, and go up and down the court. "When I back into the corral, they're all fighting to see who gets to go," said Wick of Donkey Sports. To help ease the impact on the hardwood, the donkeys' hooves have rubber padding. "They're pretty intelligent animals," Wick said. "And if they're sitting around in a small pen or stall all day, they're fighting boredom all that time."
Out on the court, they cut loose. "It was pretty uncontrollable, but it was a lot of fun. They've got a mind of their own, definitely," said one rider.

But animal rights groups say event also comes with huge liabilities, because people can get hurt easily.

Oh, now they're worried about the people.
I think they're worried about somebody having more fun than they are. :rolleyes:

Hey, ref!! That donkey just kicked my kid, on purpose! You gonna do anything about it? Fukkit, I'll handle this myself!

If they're female they don't have PETAs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr (Post 649934)

Hey, ref!! That donkey just kicked my kid, on purpose! You gonna do anything about it? Fukkit, I'll handle this myself!

I think Donkey Ball is not sport, it is nonsense...

We had those too. Mostly I just thought it was stupid, but I never witnessed the donkeys looking distressed in any way. Of course, they're donkeys, how do you know?

There was a big outrage when they had the donkeys at the fair who would climb a really tall ladder and jump into a small pool below. THAT'S entertainment? I don't think it's natural for donkeys to jump from high places.

Donkey ball, though, they probably have a, um, er...ball. It's all donkey stuff!

I think they recommended cold compresses and bed rest for donkey ball when I was a kid.

And if they weren't playing ball, they would be doing natural things, like hauling heavy loads, making glue.:eyebrow:
Makes you wonder who the ass is.

I bet the janitors at the school hate the cleanup after the game!

I'm waiting for Miss Nelly Poo-poo to pop in and talk about the rights of the donkeys. Of course, Miss Poo-poo will pronounce it "dunkey", being all aristocratic and shtuff.

Well, Miss Nelly Poo-poo, tell me...how many donkeys have YOU adopted? Huh? Huh? I thought not!

Man, I ain't never heard of no donkeyball. Back when I was in high school, we used to bring in a group of white kids every year and play honkeyball!

Isn't this basically a description of gym class in middle school?

Quote:

"The [geeks/nerds] are pushed, kicked, shoved, and prodded to do something that is unnatural for them and confusing..."

Yeah, we had those in school as well. I liked trying to figure out which donkey had the fattest rider. If the donkey's back looks like the letter "U", you're too big for this ride!

The donkeys are probably better trained than most of the students. Even if they do shit on the floor.

If this doesn't end with the girls having hot donkey sex then they are just treating the poor animals like a bunch of asses.

I get it... donkeys, asses. Hahahahahaha!

I did adopt a donkey once, though the BLM called them burros.
I gave him the super-original name of Jack.
He was a nice guy, but couldn't shoot free throws for shit.

Nope, you take the shot, they just bray you make it.

I worked at a summer camp. We had a camp donkey that was sharp as a tack. I can guarantee those Donkey Ball donkeys are not suffering in the least. I suspect the are amused by it all.

The Camp Donkey got loose one day and I was dispatched to catch it with another guy. It was chowing down on the front lawn grass. It saw us coming and waited until we were within about 6 feet of it before putting its plan in play. While still munching, it bolted one hundred feet directly to the parking lot filled with cars that was also a lawn. Once there it re-commenced eating. We proceeded over to the lot thinking, 'now we have you'. But, that donkey played us like fish for about 45 minutes using the cars as barriers.

Two people! And it kept us from cornering it. It was like playing against a chess master. It did this while placidly grabbing mouthfuls of grass the whole time. We finally got three more people to help. It looked at us and never moved again. It obviously was either full or did the math. We walked right up to it and put on its halter. Damn smart, yes-sir-ree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum (Post 650201)

Haw haw, Bruce.

You mean "Hee Haw," don't you?