Stupid Texas
 

One of my closest friends is relocating to Texas at the end of the month. I can understand people doing the opposite and coming to Colorado. But what on earth is in Texas?? I'll tell you: smashed armadillos in the middle of the road, tumble weeds big enough to carry away poodles, flat, flat, flat as far as the eye can see, women wearing what amounts to masks of Mary Kay cosmetics, summers that only a bedoin can withstand, and last but not least - the Bush family.

And guess what my friend is going to do? Sell avertisements on bar glasses. Like "Drunk? Called the Armadillo Cab Company!" or "DUI? Call GW's second cousin. We got GW off and we'll get you off!"

You can't tell me a person can make a living selling ads on bar classes. The patrons are two sauced to read them, anyhow.

And why is she really going? To take up with an old BF named Steve who lives in the Plano/OK Dallas area. If he wasn't right the first time around, why should he be right this time? He probably spends all his time trying to decipher the writing on bar glasses.

I want to throw my body in front of my friend's U-Haul, but I don't think this would stop her. So, I'm writing this hate letter to Texas instead. Somebody should have bombed the place years ago./end rant :eyebrow:

That's right, when you lose someone you love, blame their paramor... damn Texas. :eyebrow:

Plano and Houston are 300 miles away from each other.
So, I can see that your fact-checking is at least consistent.

Sorry. Plano/Dallas. All the Texas cities run together for me.

Sam, you sound a little jealous.;)

I wouldn't mind a BF, but not one in Texas. Did you know they wear alligator skin boots there? :eek:

I've never owned a pair of alligator skin boots in my life

I bet you wear snakeskin ones, then. :rolleyes:

I have uncles in Colorado who would probably both wear alligator skin boots, if they don't already. Neither are from Texas. I've never worn boots of snake, alligator, ostrich or cow.
I don't wear makeup, I did buy mary kay from a friend to help her out one time.
The Bush family is not representative of this state, just like Columbine doesn't define Colorado.
The heat ain't so bad, that's what air conditioning is for. As least we don't have cold bad enough we need to grow a fur coat to survive.

Just because you choose to be ignorant of our state doesn't mean I'm gonna let you get away with insulting it.

Steve might have been right the first time around, the timing could have been wrong. Or it could be that people change, he could have been wrong, or your friend could have been and now that has changed. All that could be different now, second chances exist for a reason. I'm sorry you're losing your friend. Hope you come to terms with it soon enough.

Come visit you might get a chance to see a real live jack-a-lope.

You really don't want to get Dallas and Houston mixed up. For 1 you'll be about an 8hr drive off your mark. The weather varies widely, so does the pollution. Also, Houston has more cancer. No seriously, they do. There have been studies. Its the chemical industry. Please don't hate me Houston!

One last thing, Texas is THE fastest growing state in the US, a lot of people are making the same choice your friend is.

I'll see your complaints about Texas, and raise you. I live in what I euphemistically call the Asshole of Texas. No one gets it here.

Perfectly understandable, considering your razor-sharp powers of discernment.
I mean, twenty-five million people are bound to be a homogeneous group, right?

I thought it was against the law to be homogeneous in Texas.

Not since the Supreme Court struck down that law. We've been rampantly homogenous since then.

I think the state is irrelavent, and therefore you are being unfair. It's stupid Some-other-State-Than-Where-I-Am and my friend is moving away from me for a guy. Could be Timbuktu. and no, I have no idea what state that's in.

and Brian, there are lots worse places than our city. Like the one a stone's throw away in another country.

That's great Cloud, we're better than the third world. :lol2:

that's not it.:headshake

Blah...insult all y'all want. I love Texas, and I love Houston. Yeah, that's right. I love the city that's one of the most polluted, has lots of cancer, and whatever else bad you can think of. However, it is a metropolitan city with a diversity of culture and ethnicity, which leads to a wide variety of food and entertainment. Unemployment rate isn't as high as other cities and homes are affordable. That is why people are moving to Houston.....cuz it's a damn good city to live in!! :frog:

God, you know what would be awesome? Commuter light-rail between Austin, Houston, and Dallas. This would improve my life in so many ways.

She sounds like a gambler who's into Texas hold'em. ;)

Don't forget San Antonio, must go to Seaworld!

I have actually visited Texas and like it once I get out of the northern part. I heard some great music in Austin, ate some terrific Mexican food in San Antonio, as well as doing the whole River Walk thing. In Corpus Christi I bird-watched and stuffed myself with fresh caught shrimp. The Texans I met were nice friendly people.

I worry about my friend, though. She has lived in dinky little Cortez (pop. 10,000) her entire life and doesn't have big city smarts. And I can't believe she's going to make a living selling bar classes with ads on them. We don't have anything like that here - not even in Denver. Do ya'll actually drink out of painted glasses? :headshake

East Texas is nice... rolling hills with cattle and trees. I spent some time there when I had to leave the grassy knoll in Dallas rather quickly.

Austin area is much prettier in my opinion.

Texas is a great state. Don't knock it til you try it. Oh, and it ain't all that flat. I like Texas, except when they play Oklahoma. :D

Texas is a huge state, so each city varies greatly and has its own flavor. :D

Texas is more progressive than outsiders might believe too. For example Houston has a gay mayor
Article

I suspect as our population becomes more urbanized and more non-Texans move here we will drift farther to the left. We won't necessarily be left, but more to the center. Which would be nice.

The Hill Country North of San Antonio is beautiful. I could live there if it wasn't so far from the ocean.

ahhh it maybe be the Asshole.... but you have Chico's Taco's!!

Psst - Merc, check a map of Texas. Austin area is a part of Hill country.

I really didn't think it went that far up into the state. Thanks.

Yep. You are right.

http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrob...es/HillCountry

http://www.txinfo.com/products/hillcntrymap.html

http://www.texashillcountry.com/

The confusion is partly my fault. When I think "Hill Country" I think Austin because I've spent more time closer to Austin than I have San Antonio. I should have just said Hill Country instead of Austin area. I also used the city because I thought it would be more recognizable since its the capitol and more people not familiar with Texas would be able to figure out where that is.

Hill Country is beautiful. Texas really isn't that bad.

When most people think of Texas they think of the Hollywood view which resembles something more like the Panhandle. Even the Northeast part of the state is rolling hills

I love it in Texas, every time I went I wanted to stay. :)

I probably only find it funny because I don't live in Texas... but... Sam's original post is one of the funniest I've read in days :)

Born and raised in Beaumont. Dear gawwwwd. :turd: :dead3:

We moved away when I was 10 and I never went back until 2007, when I was offered an awesome job in Dallas that would have set me up quite nicely, financially.

Sorry. We're talking about Dallas. Texas. No can do. :headshake I'd much rather be broke.

Thank you, SG! ;)

But no one has yet to answer my question about bar glasses. Do Texans really drink out of bar glasses with ads on them?

I think my friend is being conned on this. I can't figure out how bar glasses could be such money makers. Can anyone explain this? Flint? Morethanpretty? Someone?

If I had to guess, it's a commission sales position. The mfg takes very little risk.

I imagine that the sales position is a scam, and she knows it, but that it's really just an excuse for her to go hook up with her old boyfriend, so she doesn't care.

What does she do now?

Texas has Austin right? Home of gaming expos. I'd like to visit Austin.

You can crash on our couch anytime, Dana. :)

You would LOVE Austin. In fact you might never go home if you visited. It is also known for one of the best music scenes in the Midwest.

One day maybe *smiles*

Austin, Texas is so exotic sounding.

She has a really good job with the local newspaper. She's supervisor of advertising (her name is on the masthead) and co-ordinates all the departments in general. Her Dad used to own the paper, but he sold it to Ballentyne(sp?). She has worked there 18 years getting promoted as she goes along. Everyone in town knows her and thinks highly of her.

That's one reason I can't believe she's taking this dip shit job. As people have commented, I guess she's simply in lust with the BF. I just hope he's a decent guy. :headshake

Memories of East Texas
And piney green rolling hills
Covered in the springtime
With golden daffodils
Rowing on Sandy Lake come April
Harvesting hay in June
Sitting by the road watching well-fires burn
By an old October moon

Memories of East Texas
Michelle Shocked

Nice lyrics but I just want to know why he

"had to leave the grassy knoll in Dallas rather quickly"

shhhhh :unsure:

I must be tired that little emoticon cracks me up.

:smack:

Yeah I know. I noticed the inference earlier but I keep rejecting it thinking rather he meant he robbed a 7-11 or had a hawt affair with someone's woman.


'note to self'
Why do I keep talking around him?

Ahh....sounds beautiful. I've never seen Texas rolling hills...how sad! Texas isn't flat, but Houston sure is. :neutral: Btw, I couldn't find any Michelle Shocked "Memories of East Texas," but I sure found lots of its covers. :p

Hihi....I was thinking the same. Wasn't sure if I should wonder it out loud. :p

I would have posted a youtube if I could have found her singing it. It's on her album Short Sharp Shocked, I highly recommend it if you can get a copy. Different, nice music.

oh yes you should He was probably just begging for it.;)

I'll look for it too. thanks

To answer SamIam, what Clodfobble said. As for this question, "Do Texans really drink out of bar glasses with ads on them?" beats me. But if you do a search online, there is a site that offers personalized bar glasses and etc. They will personalize any glassware you need to promote or advertise your business, etc. ;)

Blah, sorry your friend is leaving you. That gotta suck.

I live north of Dallas, don't think I would ever live in Dallas. Givin a choice to move to any city in the state (but had to stay in state) I would choose Austin, or rather I would choose a smaller city close to Austin where its still mostly country. That being said, living close to Dallas isn't bad. Lots to do there, if I was willing to get out. We have Dallas Museum of Arts, Dallas Natural History Museum, Dallas Aquarium, Dallas Symphony Orchestra, Dallas Wind Symphony, Meyerson Symphony Center (which I have played a concert in - high school), Deep Ellum and Fair Park (have to google.) If I'm forgetting anything else awesome I'd have to be reminded. Dallas has a zoo, it is decidedly not awesome. I would suggest Tyler or Ft. Worth Zoo, don't know about any others.

To answer your question Sam, I don't doubt that Texans drink from glasses/shot glasses with advertising on 'em. I noticed a table in a fast food restaurant with ads on it, so I'm sure they're on the shot glasses to. That being said, I doubt Texas/Dallas is the only area that does so, advertising has seeped into all cracks of life. Its pretty fucking annoying. If that job doesn't work out for your friend, Dallas and Texas in general is doin pretty decent job-wise. There are also plenty of growing cities in the surrounding area that might need a newspaper woman. I'm sure y'all will welcome her back if need be.

You guys a smarter, and funnier, than the average bears. :corn:

@ Shawnee: I love that song. There are a couple of lines in that always make me think of me and my best friend when I was in my teens.