Masters of deception... He or She?
 

Who's better at lying?
Men or Women?

And who's better at gossip?
A couple of months ago there was a pole done amongst UK women to determine how long a female could keep confidential information to themselves.

The pole revealed that most british females couldn't keep the information to themselves for more than one to two days.

What is the general consensus around the world?

dunno but I've met equally good male and female gossips ...

Men are definitely better at two things:
1). deluding themselves that what they're saying is the absolute truth.
2). saying absolute crap with bravado so that it is less likely that they will be questioned.

i.e. Speak loudly and confidently and you'll probably get away with it.

and here I was expecting a parade of androgy and to humiliate myself by getting at least 70% wrong.....

I keep a secret very well. my technique is simple. I just forget it.

I could hide my own easter eggs.

:lol:

Like your technique...
 

...But then how do you know what you've forgotten?
;):o

Although I like what casimendocia says I believe that men are less gossipy. At least I prefer the company of men. I do have female friends. They are not gossipy. I am not a gossipy person so it's hard to understand that mind frame and contribute in a gossip session.

As for lying. I have not encountered too many lairs in real life to know.

Masters of deception... He or She?

http://regent.blogs.com/photos/uncat.../21/rupaul.jpg

He is beautiful.

Now get that fricken thing off! < My original first thought.

You ruined the thread. :P

What were we talking about again?

all people are liars and gossips in general. If you ask me I think women gossip more and men lie more, but that's merely an opinion. I doubt it has anything to do with geography.

Do you think that's more effective than whispering in conspiratorial tones, while glancing left and right?

Jinx (Mrs LJ), never forgets.

Absolutely!

I don't "gossip"; I share relevant and useful personal information with the goal of maintaining and strengthening social networks and interpersonal relationships.

I certainly can and do keep secrets.

For once, I am going to (pre-emptively) side with Merc's distrust of surveys. How can you do a survey that asks people whether and how often they lie?

Yea, and where is the graph which pretends to strengthen the results?

I don't know about in general, but my boss (a man) wins the gossip prize today.

He sent out an email to a bunch of his friends commenting on his partner's brother in law being abducted over the weekend, and giving details on the ransom, negotiations, and escape . . . but he didn't send it to his partner. The email got bounced around from person to person and was finally sent to his partner--did you see this?

Oops. Partner is rightfully pissed!

I question your statistics! It's a pole for heaven's sakes! It is not to be trusted! I would never normally mention this, but I heard the pole....:p

And be careful when talking about man poles.

it's supposed to be 'poll' ...right?

A couple of guys around where I work have the habit of talking to people about other people saying stuff which is either a quarter of the truth or totally George Lucas. Then when they've done enough of that they let the story take it's own course and then after a while someone would be really pissed off for whatever reason... And in the distance a couple of guys would be in stitches and these are grown up men that I work with.

The modus operandi amonst females (around here) takes a more dramatic and serious turn and in some cases the victims of gossip can also turn out to be the ignitors of the whole damn thing.

My opinion:
I think males get involved to laugh and have fun while females on the other hand take it to a level which can have serious consequences.

The main difference, in my own experience, is merely a matter of labels. When men talk about people who aren't there, it doesn't get labelled as gossip. When women talk about people who aren't there, it gets labelled as gossip.

I really don't think there is any real difference between men and women when it comes to either 'gossiping', lying, or keeping secrets. There is huge variance between individuals.

Yes, Dana. My sentiments exactly.

All one needs to do is sit for a while at my club, wait for someone to leave, and listen to the old guy farts (who I dearly love!) talk about whoever just left. :lol:

Maybe I'm not privy to it, but I don't hear the kind of gossip here that I heard in my old office.

I'll admit to occasionally not minding "hearing" the gossip, if it's not vicious, but I don't repeat it. I then make my own conclusions. In the end it doesn't matter what's true or not, I am only affected by how people treat me.

Lying should be avoided at all costs, no matter who you are.

I did read an article recently that men tend to lie more about stuff like "where they've been" and women tend to lie more about money stuff.

Finally, I don't mind when people talk about me behind my back. It just means my life is more exciting to them than their own. ;) I know what's true.

The thing that astounds me is people who think the rest of us can't see patterns. Like, let's say I had a coworker who had at one time or another bitched or gossiped about every single other person in our department. What are the chances that I'm magically the only one she's never spoken badly about to our other coworkers? Yet I feel really sure that she would never in a million years have imagined that I viewed her as untrustworthy.

Oh, so true. A couple ex cow orkers, who I liked in most ways, would tell me things they had no business telling me. A smile and a nod and a cursory response, and I would walk away thinking "is it my turn now?"

I also believe in keeping people's secrets: if someone tells me something it won't go further, and I would hear these people telling me something they hadn't just heard out of nosiness, but had been told IN CONFIDENCE.

I don't get it. It's just so low!

There have been times when I say "no, don't tell me, that's none of my business." Some folks are notorious, like it's a sickness, at doing this.

What about men who kiss and tell? :eyebrow:

dunno. Know any?

Will any dwellar admit to being a terrible gossip? Or even quite a good one? I like to hear all the gossip as long as it's not malicious i.e. intended to cause damage to a person's reputation. In a gossipy situations, I will share what I believe to be true with close friends unless I was told in confidence. I think it's human nature. But maybe I'm just not natural.

Possibly men "gossip" less if you don't call yattering about sports "gossiping" but frankly what I overhear seems to be speculation and opinion about the skills and intentions of players they don't know personally, and ability of the people they do know to judge these things ...and if that isn't gossiping.....

I don't know if anyone admits to it or not: like I said, it's like an illness with some people. Somehow, being "in the know" gives them a leg up, or something. I'm not sure they recognize it or, if they do, can control it.

But they exist. Right here, even, in the Cellar.

You don't have to deny being a gossip to not be a gossip, however...one only needs to look at historical behaviors. That street goes both ways. My problem is remembering that one who acts as if they are really concerned, and has stabbed my back in the past, probably doesn't have my interests at heart, no matter how they seem to commiserate and care.

whoa. sorry, I obviously took far to long to type/submit my answer so it looked personal. It wasn't intended to be, just a light-hearted general discussion/opinion. I just saw it as one of those things -many people do it but few admit to it.....

No, I wasn't taking it personally, nor giving it personally. It's just my view on the subject. :confused:

I do take pride in my trustworthiness, when it comes to confidences. I have a million faults, but that isn't one of them. It's how I've been my whole life.

oh OK, you just seemed mighty pissed off. i'm probably super-sensitive today

I think she just swears when she's pissed.

OMG I just gossiped! :p

I always seem pissed off, I guess. I'm not. Maybe it's my writing style when I feel strongly about something.

No offense, or finger-pointing at anyone, intended.

As I said about my ex cow orkers...I still liked them. It's not something about them I agree with, but they're mostly good people. We all have faults.

One of mine is sounding pissy when I don't feel pissy. ;)

:lol:

I swear quite a lot, but I don't see any instances in this thread. gawdammit!

hehe. I was just shooting the breeze (gossiping) and it suddenly got all serious on me! I AR NOT SO MUCH SRS NOMSTER.....

oooooh....tell me who it is!



we gossip in chat sometimes. you all should log in every night just to make sure we're not talking about you

just kidding seriously

Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind. Paranoia is another fault of mine.

heh


.

:D

The most annoying, are the ones that are telling me something about a third party, when it's clearly to intended to benefit themselves in some way.

What do they try to call it: concerned citizenship?

Call it what they may, it's still back stabbing.:mad:

Someone might be awfully squirmy right now. :lol:

I'll own up to that depending on the definition. I do talk a lot about people but I do have some ground rules. First, I will never say anything behind someone's back that I won't say to their face. Second, while I will justify some instances, I try not to use gossip to change someone's opinion about someone else in a negative way. Third, I always try to use somewhat constructive criticism when talking shit about someone. Fourth, if I don't respect you as a person, I can be a complete asshole.

I'm the same way as you Monster on how I like to hear almost everything, relationship issues where I get thrown in the middle is a huge exception, because I like to tease people a lot and if I hear something funny I will usually give them a hard time about it as long as I know they won't get offended. Though, I am a critical person and I will break people down along with their faults and insecurities so I do tend to talk a lot of shit, but as I said earlier, I will never lie about someone or say something that I won't own up too. I am also very good at keeping secrets.

Generally, I see men and women gossip and lie the same amount but they just do it in different ways.

It's our office manager's management style.:yelsick:

Common style these days.