Rules for Pets.
 

Obey leash laws - Not!.
The world is your chew toy.
When humans say that someone is a real bitch, don't get your hopes up.
Cats - The other white meat.

I think your definition of "pets" is a little different from mine.

Yeah....bit doggy-centric :P

Not that I mind...I am dog-person through and through.

But dogs aren't so much pets as cunning dependants.
And cat's aren't so much pets as lodgers.

No, no - cats aren't pets, or lodgers. They are the landlords!

You know you're in trouble when you find out your girlfriend's idea of heavy petting is owning 6 cats.:D

lol

Talking of which: I was feeling a little guilty whilst out walking pil a week or so ago; because I keep him on the lead most of the time (extender lead so he has a little wander room). I do this because, frankly I have to. Unless I can see a clear distance ahead and there's nobody likely to come into view unexpectedly it's just not safe. Not for them. And if he bit them, not for him. I do muzzle him some of the time, but he hates it so. It's less distressing for him to be unmuzzled on the extender than muzzled and free to roam.

So, I was feeling quite guilty that he only occasionally gets to roam off the lead doing his own doggy thing, when it suddenly struck me: as far as Pilau's concerned, he isn't the one on the lead :P


( I may have already mentioned this on here somewhere. Cant recall if i posted or not)

Dog's can't be off the lead/leash here except in dog parks and fenced yards/gardens.

And I for one am very happy about that. Except when people break the rules and insist "it's OK he's very friendly really, he won't bite you, he just wants to play.... that knocking you over and slobbering in your eye is his way of making friends"

I have mixed feelings about that rule. It's something of a blunt instrument as it's there to control those owners who cannot/will not control their dogs. It has the unfortunate side effect of also limiting those dogs whose owners are perfectly capable/willing to control them. My mum's dog, Dante (Pilau's bro) would never jump at someone. He barely acknowledges other humans if he's out and about. he certainly wuold never run at them and be a pain. Mum knows this and so will allow him to be off the lead in the park (a normal park where people and children are) knowing full well it will never be a problem. I used to let Pilau opff the lead if the park was relatively empty. But then all it took was someone suddenly appearing over the rise, or a kid riding their bike down the path and he went off. I now don't let him off the lead in the park because I know he's beyond my control.

I love cats!

They taste like chicken.:bolt:

Cats, the other white meat.:p

why all the cat haters? :(

Do. Not. Like.

I found two pygmy goats today, no owners found yet...weird.

Found? On your property?

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

Goats are reknowned escape artists.

They were standing in front of the barn across from my driveway entrance when I went on my concrete run in the morning. A local animal rescue lady is going to pick them up this morning.

Not pets on beds or furniture.
No jumping on guests.
No charging open doors.
No biting no growling towards family members.
No eating from the dinner table or during any meals.

No going outside.
No fighting.
No chewing of small plastic pieces or rubber bands

No chewing of furniture or shoes. Dog toys and bones only.

no jumping out from ambush and biting people's ankles

Dennis makes his own rules.

wait, wait -- whose rules are these?

Rich misnamed this thread. Some of these are rules for pets; but he put PET'S RULES! So . . .

--hoomans must play wid us when we bring Da Toy!
--we haz open house for de crawlies so day can be Toy!
--hoomans must lie still when we cuddlez for naps
--iz always time for nap time

Update: 5 year old girl reunited with her goats!

Excellent! :D

Was her name Bo Peep?


Or would that be Bo Poat?

"What's the moral? Other than dog people should marry dog people and cat people should marry cat people."—Danny DeVito, The War Of The Roses

I didn't care for the movie much. But this is one of the best throw-away lines ever.

No circling around the monitor, then knocking off my glass jar of pens and doodads, breaking it, then crawling on the printer, then circling the monitor again, then circling the monitor again, then crawling on the printer, then knocking off my coffee mug with pens and doodads in it, breaking off the handle, then circling the monitor again...BECAUSE YOU ARE DRIVING ME FREAKING BATTY.

I wish Gaines could read the interwebz.

... get a dog. That way when you are ignoring it, it'll just pee on your leg :p

I really don't even ignore him...both cats have been so damn glommy, like gluey glommy, the past couple weeks.

It's those honey and peanut butter sandwiches you've been eating. When you aren't looking, they've been sharing.

They know the end of the world is comming and want to be close to you.

Yep, out of the meows of cats...!

.

:lol:

Cats crack me up, even when they're a pain in my ass!

Gaines is a weird one: he cares not for chicken or fish or really any human food. Taj, on the other hand, steals pepperonis off my pizza (as she did last night) and chicken about makes her go stark raving mad!

And as we all know, a pepperoni thief is capable of any crime. Keep an eye on that one.

Yabbut, she's 16 and a half...still able to leap tall countertops though. When I catch her, she's like "who me?" with pepperoni grease all around her mouth. Damn recidivist! :lol:

My rule: No coming home with random items that make me wonder where you have been.

Diz came in with a pristine tennis ball this week. I've been sleeping without my earplaus with the'rents away and can him him racketing about with it in the hall while I'm dozing. If he gets it a good smack on the door it sounds like something coming through the letterbox. I am no longer fooled.

Diz's rule: It's a toy. Doesn't matter what you bring home, it's essentially something for me to play with, up to and including the packaging and the screwed up receipt. And why oh why oh why did I get a jacket that could be laced up at the back? From the minute it arrived yesterday it was a fight as to which one of us was going to get the most use out ot it. Me shreieking and running away and trying to shorten the ribbons; Diz scampering and chasing and clawing and wondering what this new game was.

this showed up in my inbox today. I Lol'd at the last line!

Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good Dog.


1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or
after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa
is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not
stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the
coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from
outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the
middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is
not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.

When I get to Heaven can I have my testicles back?

A hump is not a handshake.

and here, from my friend who has a 200 lb NOT miniature pot bellied pig, are the "pigs rules":

1) Plant beautiful flowers in the garden because they taste best.

2) Feed me on time or I will break the door down.

3) NEVER leave a door open because I will come in and raid the fridge/pantry/cupboards, and there will be absolutely nothing left (I'll even eat the bacon!).

4) Dog water buckets are really fun to dump over, so please keep them very full for my entertainment.

5) I promise I won't go potty in the house.

6) Stay out of my yard, or we will fight.

7) Do not under, any circumstances remove bedding/trash/leaves/anything-else-I've-scavenged from my house or we will fight.

8) Bar soap is a really awesome snack, so buy the expensive stuff, I like that Trader Joe's Oatmeal stuff.

9) When I make that little sqealing noise and rub my dirty nose on your leg, you're supposed to pay attention.

10) Rub my belly for at least 5 minutes a day.

*grins* Nos 2 and 3 put me in mind of my brother's Rhodesian Ridgeback (Amber- aka Fat Lass, or Amble-Scramble). Then again, I suspect she might be part pig.

1) I know you bought me a heated pad, but you are the next best heat source in the house. Therefore whether you are naked, on the internet, on the phone or getting ready to go out, you need to be available to warm me up.
2) I like to stop and check the scenery on the way downstairs. As I don't have eyes in the back of my heard it's up to you to watch out for me. Anyway, it sharpens your reflexes.
3) There is nothing quite so satisfying as a big smelly log in a virgin tray. It's one of life's great pleasure. So don't be all grumpy and holding your nose and gagging because I've waited til you've just changed it before laying down some nuclear waste.
4) I'm a sociable cat. If there are chicken bones lelft in my dish after my immediate hunger has been sated, I reserve the right to come and gnaw them on your bed, or on the sofa if you are in the living room. I know the raw marrow is messy - but it's tasty, deal with it!
5) Sometimes I don't know what I want. I want you to know! So I will follow you round the house and make a creaking noise to get your attention, and then not be satisfied with whatever you do. This is my right.
6) As I am not capable of playing with other cats nicely, I need your input and involvement in every game I play. I even make up new ones to include you, like Climb Behind The DVDs and Knock Down Them All Down, or Let's Explore the Mantelpiece!

Rules what humin peepels muss follow and som useful tips

1. Jus cos you cant see whut I is barking at, duznt mean der is nuffink to bark at.
2. Birds is for chasing
3. Cars is for chasing
4. Kids is for chasing
5. Peepels is for chasing
6. Bikes is for chasing
7. Cats is definittly for chasing
8. Flies is for chasing.
9. Everytime the Cupboard Door is opent, a biscuit shud happen.
10. Baffs is the work of the devul; ponds is God's gift to Good Dogs.

I haf more but is makin my hed hurt.

fish rules:

1) glub
2) glub

Yours has been teaching mines on correspondence course, SG! Especially:
Rules 2 and 3 unamended
Rule 4 amended to read live rodents from the field instead of chicken bones
Rule 5 amended to read pitiful mewing not creaking.
:rolleyes:

rule 1) i can haz frizbee
rule 2) see rule 1

Ball is priority over all things. Including your dinner, china, and furniture. Rugs are simply foot to floor shock absorbers.

I brungz you de birdy to say fank yuz fer da rubs and da gud fudz. Sorry it not quite dead and poop in yers rooms.

Gravdigrz Cat Rules

1. No dairy for Slick. He's lactose intolerant, and I don't like cleaning up used milk.

2. Nobody, but NOBODY, gets love without Slick in the middle.

3. If people have spaghetti, Slick has spaghetti, or people bleed.