poetry challenge
 

There once was a place in the cellar
where the average dwellar
could post a quick rhyme
in 3 or 4-time
and still emote more than old yeller

think you can do better? ...well hell, my crayfish could do better, but still.... the challenge is to write 4 or 5 lines which must rhyme somehow on the topic chosen by the poster before you.

next up: The Obamas' new dog

don't forget to choose a new topic when you're done....


...if we ever make it to 50 poems in here, we should have a poll to choose the best.....

The dog that was bought by Obama
liked nothing but plenty of drama.
They got in a trainer
(it was our own Dana)
and now the White House is much calmer.


Phil Spector ...

Phil Spector just wanted some fun.
She didn't, so he fed her a gun.
He denied that he did it
But the jury thought different
So now no more hits number one.

Somali pirates..

We're just in it for money,
Don't think this is funny.
The US got their guy back,
that is a matter of fact.
So I'm not comin home honey.


Clone Threads ...

Flint, of quick wit and sharp tongue
"These clone threads!" he said he had brung
Some Dwellars grumbled
The Cloners got pummelled
But that stopped no bit of the fun.

topic:

wtf images

I came here for IOTD
Then Doodads and WTF hooked me
The Cellar's like crack
I just keep coming back
Its like a goddam STD

next: Freedom

I forgot the new topic
'Cause I post while myopic
Said Queen of the Ryche
As she plugged up the dyke
With her finger that UR not sorry about.

Cellar collage.

Jim put on his sketching bandanna.
"The Dwellars will love me mañana!
It's a really good day
Cos I've worked out a way
To procure a new pic of Brianna!"

Bo, the new white house portugese water dawg

(see #2)

The Obamas love their dog Bo
Even more than you ever can know
But if the girls want his puppies
They'd better buy guppies
Cuz Bo is on the downlow.


Millard Fillmore

Millard Fillmore was the last of the Whigs.
I got nothing, so I'll talk about pigs.
They are pink and delicious
Although not too nutritious
And this poem will offend all the prigs.



"The Office" sitcom

Dwight has a beet farm and a crush on a bitch-
A two-timing cat freak who didn't get hitched.
I still like Angela, she has so much charm,
And licking her cat didn't do her any harm.

----------------------------

More Office!!

The Office again, huh? OK.

Eating bacon in bed is real nice.
Oh, to smell a fresh a slice!
But the George Foreman grill,
your foot, it will kill
So you'll need a small baggie of ice.


Tiki's housemate

Tiki's housemate is quite the douchebag,
She's really that much of a hag,
She chit-chats all mornin'
So Tiki'll be bornin'
Her housemates dead body away.

The paucity of ladies restrooms at Kiss concerts.

Whether watching Metallica or Kiss
If you're a lady and you need to piss,
Don't wait in that line,
You'll run out of time -
The guys I pass in the men's room
Are well aware of this.

Next: Reality TV

From Hotels windows they fly,
And shot by Elvis, they die,
People believe what they see,
somehow, fantastically
When, in reality, TV is a lie


next topic: viagra

Kind of appropriate, dontchya think?

The subject from dear Lumberjim
Is not what he takes for his vim!
No need for Viagra
He cums like Niagara
Just one look at Jinx does for him!



Cuba ...

They're opening Cuba to us!
You wonder what's all the fuss?
With awesome cigars,
and cool classic cars,
They'll be packing tours in by the bus.

Radar's hot dog stand

I once knew a dwellar named Radar,
With a serious need for more moolah.
So he hatched him a plan,
To sell dogs from a van,
Now he's building his fortune from wieners.



The BBC

In Florida, one would surmise
It's hot dogs that everyone buys.
If he makes no mistakes
They'll sell like hotcakes
Or at least better than homeschool supplies.

Edit: Crap! Too slow!

there once was the Old BBC
where one could hear Poetry
and all that cool crap
but now it's just rap
coz they want to be like MTV

Canker sores

Background: I once (ahem) 'lived off the state' for a while (i was locked up). There was a guard, Fitzpatrick, that was about 500 lbs., who constantly had a styrofoam coffee cup in his hand. It contained "smokeless tobacco product" spit. Nasty as hell. He couldn't talk for spitting. I think he used the same cup the whole time I was there. I left this little limerick on my cell wall when I left:

There once was a jail guard named Fitz
Who had a bad case of the shits
He found some corks in a stash
And pounded one up his ass
So now instead of shitting he spits

Can skoal cause canker sores???

There once was a prosperous banker,
who sat in his office and wankered,
one day while he jerked
his secretary worked
he gave her a canker to thank her

Forgot next topic;
petroleum jelly

There was young fellow named Kelly
Whose dick is now stuck to his belly
Because in his haste
He used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

Next topic: Mucus

There was a young artist from France
Who’s work fused mucus with dance
His most infamous boogey
Was called Hock a Loogie
It’s said he’s still seeking romance

next: bad drivers

lmao!

A slow poke driver named Fong
Was slowly poking along,
"This car is a turd,
It won't shift out of third,
No wonder my trips take so long."

next subject: Hubble Space Telescope

I'm a long cylinder, I blasted off
I can see black holes that sputter
also Ur anus and your milky way
What? Get your mind out the gutter!

next; the economy

(I posted this somewhere else on the cellar, I think)

A young working girl from Kilkenny,
Would screw like a mink for a twenty.
For half of that sum,
You could go up her bum,
Which proved a great bargain for many.

next subject: dirty sex

Sex on the beach is not such a peach
-you'll get sand where you really dont want it
Sex in the mud is ever so good
-and who gives a stuff if this line scans, you're still thinking about the sex in the mud, aren't you?

next: fluffy baby animals