Tiki Bitches About...
 

...her housemate.

I love the girl dearly, but she's not only a morning person, she's also one of those people who talks constantly, and if she thinks I need cheering up she with spout incessant inane absurd little comments and questions... not things I can just ignore, but ones that require a response, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE MEANINGLESS ABSURDITIES.

I really want her to SHUT THE FUCK UP in the mornings, and stop trying to be funny or cheer me up.

Also, despite being a morning person, she lets her alarm beep beep beep for almost an hour every morning. I hate repetitive sounds with a passion.

Even if it is your headboard hitting the wall?

notice how I fixated on probably the least important line of your post?

Absolutely.

Which is why I have a sturdy sleigh bed that stands up to abuse.

Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug? Awww...does someone need a hug?


:D

:lol:

Luckily, I can't hear the sound of you hitting the same keys over and over again.

"Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays." :rolleyes:

spray her with the hose, first thing. that'll dampen her spirits.

srsly, does she get up and down loads of coffee? You could secrectly switch it to decaf...just a thought.

"Good morning Tiki, how'd you sleep last night?"

"got anything interesting planned for today"

"did you watch American Idol last night?"

"No? What did you do?"

"think it's going to rain today?"

"when are they ever going to fill that pothole in front of the house?"

No, she's just naturally chatty in the mornings. Used to drive her boyfriend nuts too.

I think I'm really ill-suited to live with people, because I like to be left alone almost all the time. I don't at all mind being written at, but being talked at is like nails on a chalkboard.

Maybe I need to keep a spray bottle on my desk, and as soon as she starts talking I'll squirt her.

You must be a blast at parties :right:

what about talked WITH or talked TO? Cuz I don't like being talked AT either.

Yah everyone secretly hates their housemate for one reason or the other. You should write her a passive aggressive sticky note, and then tape it to her bedroom door.

I definitely don't mind being talked WITH, it's the little irritating POINTLESS demands on my time and attention that drive me crazy.

Carbon Monoxide works well in these situations. Just remember to make your plans for that evening a couple weeks prior. And don't tell ANYONE. Not even us.

If a gentle, "Please leave me alone until I'm all the way awake" doesn't work, just make a sign that says, "Quiet time!" and hold it up every time she starts to annoy you.

The first step to making something annoying stop is to be reasonable, the second step is to be ridiculous so that it becomes funny.

...well she takes knitting on first dates....

Hey, honey, did you like the movie?


Shh! I'm counting stitches!

Date: "So, Tiki, whatcha knittin?"
Tiki: "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Date: "Check, please."

:D

lol Beestie.

Tiki: "I bite when I'm grumpy. I'm always grumpy before 10am.
I've never been vaccinated for rabies. Your choice."

Wear headphones. ;)

or knit yourself some earmuffs...

Or knit your housemate a ball-gag.

Thanks for the visual Shawnee. Perhaps some fuzzy handcuffs to go with it?

It's a good one, eh QotR? :lol:

I'm picturing a nice variegated pink and purple lambswool.

See, wolf could've taken this project as her craft project to while away the time. Oh wolf? Are you getting this? :)

I didn't even read this post. ;)

It always backfires. For some reason indifference seems only to fuel their fires. I should try being really hyper-enthusiastic and excessively "into" them on first dates.

:mittens:

This is pure win.

An update on the housemate: as if by magic, she seems to know that I am on the verge of homicidal rampage, and she actually STOPPED herself at one point this morning and said "OK now, just because it's morning doesn't mean you have to fill it with noise" and then went and quietly talked to her dog for a while.

YAY PROGRESS!

She really is trying, and she's a good person. She just doesn't do "quiet" well.

This is actually a control issue. If she was a TV, you'd leave her on for company, because then you'd be in control: you'd have an off switch.

Thus, if you choose to, you can control your need to control, and there will be no more issue.

My ex used to complain about my snoring. To fix it, she kicked me whenever I woke her up by snoring. Thus satisfying her need to control.

J simply got earplugs.

I love J.

She kept herself awake all night long in a state of cat like readiness, just so she could kick you when you made a loud, abrupt sound, cross between hocking up a luger and choking to death, and thus exert her will upon you? God, what a fucking psycho... :rolleyes:

This is pure bullshit. I do not have the TV on as background noise, EVER, because I cannot stand it. I can't tolerate ANYTHING on as "background noise". I listen to music, but unless I'm actually focusing on it, it's too much noise too.

I like conversation. What I dislike is the kind of constant, meaningless chattering (especially in the morning or late at night, when I'm either trying to get ready for work or I'm tired) that demands a response even though no useful information is being conveyed. If it's a control issue, it's a need to control others by forcing them to respond instead of letting them do what they're trying to focus on.

You seem to think that people who prefer not to have constant, meaningless, attention-distracting chatter directed at them are somehow trying to control others. The reality is that all I want control over are my OWN boundaries, and others are trespassing when they will not observe them. Who is trying to control who?

That's an appropriate solution to a problem *you* had no control over.

I sympathise Tiki.

I am a fairly gregarious person, some of the time. But when I am wanting quiet, I cannot bear anybody trying to chit chat with me. It's one of the reasons I live alone. I do tend to go for background noise (unless I am reading) but it has to be a particular kind of background noise. Someone wittering on about something and nothing doesn't count.

That said, if I am feeling up and chatty, I am probably the worst person for a quiet type to be around :P

You sound like someone who really needs their own space Tiki. Is it at all likely that you will be able to get into a situation where you can take a house by yourself?

I LOVE living alone. When I want to be around people, the whole world is only a few feet away. I couldn't even handle my own son staying with me. I was so glad when he left.

I bow to you. Who else would think to find an actual recipe for a knitted ball-gag?

Yes, but you SET your OWN boundaries. And when you live with someone else, you are bound to step on theirs and they are bound to step on yours. It's pretty inevitable.

Do you think you don't step on hers? I'll wager you have some really annoying habits.

We all do.

But wouldn't you be worried about shrinkage? :D

"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
--Elaine Benes

You know what? FUCK YOU.

No doubt I do have annoying habits, and she's free to complain to her friends about them. This is MY FUCKING HOUSE and she should at least respect my wish to be left the fuck alone IN MY FUCKING OFFICE in the morning.

I have been a quiet person my whole life and I hate having people make meaningless sounds at me in the morning.

Are you one of those people who can't help trespassing other people's boundaries with your constant, idiotic sound-making? One of those retarded twits who can't fucking stop making noise with your stupid fucking mouth because you're uncomfortable with thought and silence, and if some retarded pointless phrase phrase of babble passes through your empty fucking head it pops straight out of your useless flapping lips?

If yes, take YOUR stupid boundary-crossing control issue and shove it up your ass, fucktard.

Oh God, I love this Tiki person.

I definitely prefer living alone. I own the house, but she needed a place to stay when she broke up with her girlfriend, and she has a giant fucking obnoxious dog so she can't get an apartment. The rent money comes in handy, little as it is, but I'm still hoping she'll move in with her new boyfriend within a year.

ohhhhhhhhh K.

:bolt:

One thing I will have none of is someone telling me I need to adjust my boundaries to suit someone else. I also don't like having my ass grabbed... that's a boundary. If I was living with a guy who really liked to come up to me in the morning and grab my ass, would Undertoad be telling me that it's a control issue, and I need to adjust my boundary to be a better housemate?

I'm sorry, but telling me I should adjust my boundary, which in this case is a dislike of pointless attention-grabbing chitchat from other adults when I'm in my office trying to prepare for work, is just plain stupid.

One of her favorite meaningless ways to pollute the air with talkingtalking includes pretending that her dog has said something, like "Rover was telling me the other day that he believes that it's a real shame that the squirrel commodity market has gone up so far that his favorite bar no longer serves squirrel pie, what do you think about that Tiki?"

What the shit

I just want to check my email and drink my tea. My office needs a door with a lock.

Just to add further clarity, she is a lovely, highly intelligent, creative person and a dear friend for many years. She is by no means stupid or vapid, and in most ways is as close to an ideal housemate as I could have. She just has a compulsive need to be talking ALL THE TIME, making sounds, trying to engage others regardless of what they're doing. Perhaps it is a deep-seated loneliness, I don't know. It clashes badly with my introversion and desire to be left alone, but I would rather vent about it here than hurt her feelings and create an awkward living situation by snapping at her.

And yes, I have told her I would like to be left alone in the morning, and I think this is as close to "leaving alone" that she is capable of.

IMO Undertoad's moronic notions that I'm being controlling and should change my boundaries so that these nagging pointless demands at response don't bother me come across as the classic extravert desire to control and "improve" introverts by trying to force them to be more extraverted, with the misguided impression that extraverted = normal and introverted = dysfunctional. I don't respect that point of view, because it is deeply disrespectful to me and to all introverts.

so put a door with a lock on your office , or set a rule that you are NOT to be disturbed for the first Hour or so that you are awake , think Dog wisperer


Oh and WE could NOT live togather as I am a Grabber , grouper , gooser , what ever you want to call it

The office was built with a door that's more of an arch than a doorframe, but if anyone wants to send me $600 that would probably cover the cost of changing it.

Oh NOW I get it -- you're so highly tolerant of others!!! :D :D :D

what rich IRONY --

I wasn't actually saying that this whole thing is specifically a personality problem on your behalf, just offering you a way to think about it.

But you've convinced me. With your awesome argument, you've convinced me that you're being charitable by letting her live there! and give you a little rent money so that you can't kick her out, but you can just come to seethe at her every morning. That's charity. You're SUCH a good person. That's good behavior on your part.

How DARE she come and try to be sociable. She's a fucking idiot with her stupid fucking dog that she loves and her stupid fucking sing-song morning. Mornings are for seething, does she not see that? Your ONLY boundary is that she must not try to be her version of nice and sociable before coffee! She should be respecting that!!

Living with you -- that is a TREAT for her! That's exactly what she wanted. Every moment in your presence a gift. So gentle, patient and giving. She should pay you double.

Good job continuing to be a total dick. Hopefully you will post about something that bothers you so I can tell you how completely fucking wrong you are, and how it only bothers you because you're a terrible person.

OH for god's sake Tiki. This again?

Your exalted status might only get you so far, and it's transitory. :right:

Colour me unimpressed.

Yeah, well, hopefully when you do that, I won't post a fuck-you argument that completely proves your point.

Exalted in what?

First Undertoad tells me that the reason I don't like having someone chatter meaninglessly at me in the mornings, in a way that demands a response to things that don't even make sense, is because I have control issues. Then he tells me that if I don't like having my boundaries crossed, I should change my boundaries.

I don't give a rat's ass if you're "impressed", Shawnee. If someone's being a dick and shitting all over me, I'll call them a dick.

Oh, you mean that by posting that I can't stand something, and then you told me that I should change so that it doesn't bother me, and I reiterate that I can't stand it, I'm proving YOUR POINT that I should change so that it doesn't bother me?

Yes, I am intolerant as fuck of pointless, brainless, talking-for-the-sake-of-talking. I hate it. How does that prove your point? What is your point, other than I should change to accommodate people who talk a lot for no reason, rather than asking them to respect my boundaries and leave me alone?

That seems really one-sided to me.

That's good, because I am decidedly not. I am, however, thrilled that I've been out-crazied. :lol:

Funny, how a venting thread about my housemate, so that I can get it off my chest harmlessly, has turned into a "you're a seething crazy control-freak."

All because I really need some time alone and quiet in the morning, and I'm having a hard time getting my housemate to respect my boundaries.

Gotta love that famous Cellar support system. :headshake

I mean, seriously... what kind of jerk-ass shit is this? You really are a completely worthless waste of humanity. Obviously, this is how you view anybody who needs quiet time. I think you have some SERIOUS boundary-crossing issues, to the point where you actually resent people who try to define their own personal needs and space. Is it just that you hate introverts, or do you feel threatened by and need to tear down anyone who implies the ability to reject other people's advances?

We can't all be wide-open spaces all the time. Especially those of us who work for a living and need to get things done, which is generally what I'm dong in my office.

No, I think everyone was very willing to listen to your beef, maybe offer some advice, some ideas. The first inkling that someone says something, and not just in this thread, that you disagree with you go off, tell them they're stupid and they just don't understand your particular dilemma, and then boo-dee-hoo that the Cellar sucks.

How much fucking support do you want? You want we should come over and smack her?

I completely understood what you were talking about. However, I was blinded by your cute little smackdown of UT, who was only offering suggestions.

If you don't want opinions about your assorted dilemmas, I suggest you write them on little pieces of paper instead, you know, to get it out, then burn them. Leave well-meaning people, who apparently suck if they don't bow to your every word, out of it.

kthxbai

Also, Undertoad, try reading and responding to the WHOLE quote, instead of excerpting the part that makes it look like I was unconditionally insulting you.