Why Does My Reading Make People Mad?
 

This is a phenomenon I've often noticed and I do not understand it; I wonder if other people have this experience. What is it about reading a book that makes other people so angry?

My parents always encouraged me to read. If I had a book in my lap, I got praise! And I often did. So it was rather surprising to find that the rest of the world doesn't feel the same.

My husband dislikes when I read. He says it's "antisocial."

If I am in public, say, in a waiting room, reading a book seems to attract everyone and make them desperate to talk to me. "What are you reading? What's that about? Oh, I never can find time to read. I like mysteries, don't you? Blah blah blah blah."

If I am relaxing somewhere, say, on a camping trip with friends when there isn't much going on - I mean seriously, people are just sitting and staring at a smouldering fire - if I read a book people get angry with me. "Nose in a book again!" they exclaim. "Don't you have anything else to do?"

And today, would you believe this? I was at my daughter's cheer competition and the woman in front of us (who I didn't know) actually said that I was STUPID for reading a book at a cheer competition. Yes, STUPID. I was flabbergasted. I guess I should have been watching all umptyzillion glittery, bow-headed girls' teams do their flips and pyramids instead of (gasp) READING. But come on! I had to be there for EIGHT HOURS both days this weekend. How many cheer routines can one person watch before they all blur together? I'd rather read, thanks. I'm reading a Phillipa Gregory novel. :)

Oh well. If reading makes me stupid, then put me on the short bus! :3_eyes:

Well, I just read your other post so I'll just reply to both of them here.

A lot of people here like to read.

A lot of people here like cute girls with short haircuts.

So, given that you have two things going for you right off the bat, maybe you should spend more time here.

Because you're an inconsiderate bitch for reminding them how lazy they are, and making them feel guilty about making excuses why they can't.

They try to engage you in conversation because they pity anyone so lonely and depressed that they have to resort to reading, not just a magazine, but a real book.

"Don't you have anything else to do?", is a tipoff that they feel reading a book is an act of desperation, to be resorted to only in cases of life threatening boredom.

You make me so mad, you, you, you bookworm you. ;)

'Cause they never learned just how much fun it is.

I have seen two cases of inappropriate reading in the last year.
One man was reading the newspaper, while driving his car in the city. He was an idiot.
Another man was also reading a newspaper, sitting on a blanket in the back half of the main crowd (about 20 thousand) at an outdoor music festival. It seemed a bit odd but, even with people standing and dancing all around him, who was I to judge?

Read away. Read proud. If someone tries to talk to you, wait for the gaps in their monologue and read to them from the book.

Hell, I read in meetings. It's the only way to keep from falling.... asleeeep...
People can be awfully rude, can't they? It's a manifestation of the anti-intellectual fervor that was sweeping the nation in the last decade (see also: the Bush administration).

You could respond with "Haven't you heard? It's cool to be smart again!"

We have a winner. :p

Juni, with all due respect: what the hell doesn't he give you a rash of shit about? Seriously, how dare you read with short hair. Sorry, that just rubs me the wrong way.

Oh I hate that. Usually if someone says "what are you reading" I reply "a book" and show them the front cover if they're really interested in the title. "What's it about" causes me to bite my tongue to not say "something you probably wouldn't understand." I've never understood people who wait and just sit there, staring into space. Give me a pamphlet or something!

Didn't we already have a thread like this? :confused:

I'm like you, and I always have something to read. At lunch, standing in line at the grocery store, at jury duty (the waiting part), etc. I always check that I have a book in my purse, or two, although now I have my iPhone it matters less, because I can always read on it.

I never understand why these other people aren't reading.

The antisocial part--why do people feel the need to jibber jabber constantly? Leave me alone--I'm not interested in your inanities!

It may be a simple dichotomy between introvert and extrovert between you and your husband. Extroverts feel the need to be surrounded by people; they get their energy renewed from group activities, conversations, etc. Introverts -- don't. We get our energy renewed from quiet activities and contemplation, e.g., reading. Obviously, introverts are rarer.

I was at a party for 5 hours on Saturday.

Torture :thepain:

well...you didn't die from it

Juni,

reading can be rude....maybe your husband feels excluded from the world you travel to when you read? maybe he feels intimidated by your college attendance and shit like that?

If we already had a thread like this, I apologize. That happens to me all the time on the cellar. I ought to know better--hell, I fit in here so well, chances are if I think of it, someone else already thunk of it.

Yes, LJ. I ought to stop attending classes and reading immediately so I can avoid offending the stupid people.

Indeed, he does not read he likes to, in theory, but it makes him sleepy...which happens to me when I don't get enough sleep too. I have suspected that this college thing does intimidate him a bit, but that's just too bad. I don't know a damn thing about cars, plumbing or electrical work, but he doesn't intimidate me when he's installing a new toilet.

wtf? get yer boot out of my ass.

i was just offering a possible reason for his resenting your reading. if you don't care, then......fuck it!

No no no.....I should have put in a smiley! Sorry LJ, I didn't mean it that way.

He's right. You simply can't socialize if your attention is on reading a book. When you are reading, you are not socializing. You can't do both at the same time.

When a person reads, they are checking out of reality for a while. It's fun. I like to read. It's escapism. But you can escape too much. I don't know you or your husband. But if he's saying you are being anti-social by reading, he probably feels like you aren't paying enough attention to him. I know my wife doesn't like it when I spend a lot of time on the computer. She says it makes me distant.

Unfortunately, Juni's in a difficult position on that score. She has two kinds of reading to do: course reading, and her own pleasure reading. It may be that he is responding to the entirety. It would be like you getting half an hour a week on your comp playing a game, and also working thirty hours a week on your computer and being told you're anti-social for that half hour game.

Well, does he complain about all reading? Or is he complaining that when there is a moment in the day that he wants to spend with his wife, she picks up a pleasure book instead?

There are millions of husbands that wish their wives would read more... a lot more. :haha:
Strange, you can be sitting 3 ft away, but reading or surfing rather than watching the same TV show she is, and you're distant. But same position and watching the same show is OK.
Hmmm, I wonder if it's because they want to know what you're thinking? If you are reading or surfing they've no idea where you're thoughts are.

Then if you talk during the show you get shushed.


:lol: Best to not know where my thoughts are, so I've been told.

You are so right. He'd have a fit if I told him to turn off the TV, it's antisocial to watch TV when we could be having a conversation.

I'll be reading a book while he's watching TV, and I'm being antisocial.

He doesn't get upset when I'm reading books for school, as long as I roll my eyes and claim that I don't like the book, I just have to read it. :)

But I really didn't intend to bitch about my husband in this thread. It's other people too. Mostly other people. I'm still kind of upset at being called stupid yesterday for reading a book and missing out on all that first-rate rah rah.

Maybe her daughter was doing the rah rah. ;)

We know it wasn't just about your spouse, but it seems that's a common problem for readers.

Yeah, and her rah-rahs came in third while mine was second! Hah-hah! :)

I forgot to mention that this altercation started because I complained about their two really loud air horns.

I wanted to tell Ms. Air Horn that coming in third must really blow. But I didn't. :)

Mrs. dar has a refrigerator magnet that says, "Smart is the new thin."

They're all just jealous. I have pity for non-readers.

This is so spot-on! My ex wanted me to watch TV with him instead of sitting with him and reading. I felt like reading next to him while he was watching TV was a way to be near him even when he was doing something I wasn't interested in, but he didn't see it that way... :neutral:

We set up our den so that you could read, watch tv, surf teh interwebz, snooze or play videogames relatively companionably. Originally, we were going to have the computers upstairs, but I squashed that for exactly these reasons.

As long as were are in the same room, it seems relatively social.

Juni, was there some special reason he wanted your undivided attention at that moment?

My 13 yr old daughter does the same thing. I work on my computer, earning real money, dadgumit, and also play on the computer a couple hours a week. She claims all I ever do is play on the computer. I set aside a special evening just for me and her, but she never has time for me :headshake She's always too busy off playing on HER computer...lol.

Oh and I always have several books nearby. One I carry in my purse, on in my car, one on the porch where I smoke, and often, one by the bed. Not having a book to read is like the car being in the shop...I'm crippled!

Did this reaction start recently? It can't have been a surprise to him that you like to read, and you do it a lot. That says to me that it's not really about the reading.

As far as non-husband people go, fuck 'em. Their opinions need not concern you.

No, it's not a new development. Just one of those things he's had to accommodate over the years. :) I just mentioned it because he's one of the people who have complained. It's not a huge problem, just one of those weird things about people in general that baffle me from time to time.

Actually, I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't take books into work for my breaks because I can't stand the 20 questions game I have to play with EVERYONE about the books I'm reading, and I also can't stand them "looking down" on me being antisocial. So instead, I stare into space, and pretend to check messages on my phone. Ugh.

If you listened to audio books you wouldn't even hear the questions....

See, what you need to do is make shit up about the book you're reading.

"Oh, is that the new Dean Koontz book?"
"Yup. And this one is real good. Ya see, Mary is a reformed hooker turned nun, and Steve is a transsexual serial killer who volunteers his time with 'Habitat For Humanity'. Now, is seems that Mary was convicted of killing Steve's husband from when he was a woman. But Steve doesn't know that. Mary's sister.... Hey, where ya going? Don't ya want to know.....?"

Generally speaking, if people encounter me in a reading mood more than once then they learn to decide if they're really that interested in what I'm reading. If you ask me about it, be prepared for me to talk about it.

I just saw this Cellar cookie. :lol2:

I read in the waiting room too, but no one ever approached me. Perhaps you're just pretty? ;)

It's hardly constructive, but if you've really got your bridge-burning mean on, you might say to them, with some emphasis, "I live to offend the stupid." Let it sink in for a beat or two, then, "Are you offended?" and ostentatiously return to the page. Now there is true, intentional rudeness, more or less in the Wildean mode.

Let's see:

Smart is the new thin

Whore is the new love

Bipolar is the new black.

I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!

que http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA