Future Career
 

Not sure where to put this, so it's put here.

I started therapy on Tuesday. I only have it for 5 weeks (one to one) so I have to make the most of it.

I have homework this week (for anyone reading the Food & Drink thread, this is a different consultation and a different set of homework!).

My counsellor thinks I have a greater chance at long term happiness if I am fulfilled at work. Can't argue with that. She thinks it will build my self esteem, and if I can do that I will be successful in the areas of my life which are important to me. Again, yes. Sounds obvious, but she's essentially giving me a map to a foreign country.

SO.

I need to go back with a couple of ideas of things I would like to do. I find this very hard. I automatically shy away from any sort of responsibility. Anything that takes me out of my comfort zone. Anything that would involve confrontation.

I have identified proof-reading. I'm proud of that (I mean identifying it)
You know me better than anyone else I am not related to. Any ideas?

It does not have to be a job I can walk into. Part of the idea is that I can use this period to regroup, reassemble, retrain. I'm just finding it hard to think of anything I would really commit to. I promise you, I am NOT afraid of hard work. But if I'm going to be working for minimum wage and learning at the same time I do need to really have a passion for it.

ALL suggestions welcome.
Just be prepared that I might reject them.
In the nicest possible way.

become a sign language interpreter. You get to use all your animated/actress-y abilities AND evesdrop on conversations.

Good plan Batman!

Adult literacy training?
Teaching English to non-native speakers?

librarian?

Go to university? If nothing else university towns usually have good house share/rental options available. Usually good for part time work as well.

I was going to say librarian too. You love books, and it somewhat incorporates the grammar nazi--er, proofreader skills as well. :) Plus, I think a quiet, drama-free environment would suit you well.

Bri & Limey, thanks for the suggestions. They're not lighting a spark right now though.

I was interested in florist... til I saw they don't earn a living wage. At least not a single person's living wage (see previous rants) I love flowers and floral design, but it will have to remain a hobby.

Librarian is a good idea. I've shied away from it before- almost literally - I've reared up like a horse. But that was because I didn't have the relevant qualifications. If I got them I could so do a Larkin. Except for the gorgeous poems and the lovers and the letters to Kingsley Amis.

What about the porno collection?

I've heard a lot of people speak well of the book "What Color is my Parachute?".

You might ask the counselor to give you the Strong Interest Inventory test. That's how I ended up in programming.

Good luck SG.

You can do an online course to get qualified to proof read books pre-publishing. Most of the courses are work at your own pace.

If it's something you think you'd be interested in, you should look into it SG. I'm actually thinking of doing it myself some time after the baby is born. Maybe it's something we could even think about doing together...for motivation and all?

Anyway, just thought I'd add my two cents worth in. I'm sure you'll think of something good. :)

Interpreter - don't you speak multiple languages? I really like the librarian idea too.

I was a library assistant in a university library for three years.

Librarian can be a good job but might be bad.

Mostly it is quiet, helping people out, moderate physical work, some social contact, and you meet nice books. And maybe a nice patron or two as well ;)

However, you might occasionally have to confront a patron who is misbehaving. Can you shoosh people? Confront a book thief? Refuse another loan to someone with overdue books?

The worst risk is amongst the library staff. Take a bunch of obsessive compulsive anal retentives and make them work together. It can work or just turn spiteful. There was one time I was offered a promotion to another unit which I declined - it was a VERY unhappy team.

Maybe this was an exceptional case. Quite likely it was to do with being a university library with all the power game BS that large organisations often develop, and a local library wouldn't get this.

You could try volunteering at your local library and see what it is like.

I don't mean to put you off it. It was, by and large, a good job, and there are other perks. Today I am wearing a jacket and sunglasses that were abandoned in the lost property box of the library, which I adopted at the end of the academic year. This was at least four years ago.

Working as a civilian at your local police station -maybe in the evidence room?

what about becoming an estate agent? you'd be great at that. You'd be better at it over here as a realtor, but hey, who knows what the future may hold?

Mum was a civvie for the Police. They get great pay and pension, but are currently downsizing and moving. I did apply for a job there once. Got down to the final three. Cried my eyes out when I didn't get it - it had taken MONTHS to get that far.

Mum told me that they've all gone now, due to the above issues. She was quite pleased, as if not employing me was the reason. Funny old bird.

Estate Agent? Hmmmm. Hadn't thought of that because it's primarily a sales job. But people don't buy a house because of the agent after all. As Kirsty and Phil prove (do you get Location x 3, Relocation x 2 over there? Channel 4 show - fantastic).

It's another one to put before teh counsellor, so she knows I'm not Mrs Negative all the time. Well I'm not! All the time... I just don't like myself and have no confidence in my abilities beyond minimum wage.

I don't really know you SG but I would suggest doing some voluntary work to start with which can really help build up confidence and gives you social interaction without the pressure of a paid job. Hope the counselling works well for you.

good luck sundae! I'm sure you will do well with whatever you decide.

When I don't know what to do, I go to the book store. Whatever section I end up in the most tells me what I should be thinking about doing.

that's a great system!

I usually end up in the fantasy section, I guess I ought to start riding dragons and casting spells!
I'm just kidding, that isn't a bad idea. 'Cept you've got impractical me over here who doesn't know how to read anything of a serious nature.

SG- Think about counseling yourself? You've said people feel like they can confide in you, you seem sweet and good natured. Plus, you would have tons of empathy, since you've had to deal with your own issues. What makes a good counselor good? They're fucked up in the head.
On the estate agent business, definitely not. Real estate (over here atleast) is a total drama fest, dealing with the buyers/sellers, competing for the deal, trying to get the largest commission, being called at all hours "I don't like the color pink, and the roses out front of the house are pink, I want you to get the sellers to drop the price by 20K."

Thanks for all the ideas, you people think bigger than I do.
I so far have proof reader, librarian and bookseller, with estate agent maybe on the back burner, and sign language open as a possibility.

I did have Teaching Assistant on there, but again I couldn't live alone on what they pay :(

Mum's friend has put my name forward for a reading scheme at the local school. It can only help to have that on my CV. Although Mum has been her usual positive self and said that by the time my CRB (police check) comes back I'll be back in a full time job and unavailable. Don't get me wrong - me working again is a positive thing and something to aspire to. It's just Mum's insistence on only thinking inside the box that grates. She was the main reason I left school at 16 after all - believing it was better to get a headstart in the workplace, and further education was a waste of time. Ah well, I was also seduced by the idea of being a grown-up working in an office with the money to move away from home, so I'm not exactly being fair.

It's not too late for further education, or indeed higher education. You have no ties and no dependants, you'd actually be able to live in shared accomodation near to the campus (unlike me who has a one and a half hour commute both ways). With any luck this might be the last period of total freedom from responsibility (beyond that to yourself) and ties that you experience, so it's worth considering radical shifts.

Getting a degree would tie you to three (probably four if you did a four year foundation degree, or a year of access cours first) years of being on a low income and doing a part time job alongside studies. But the end result wuold probably add £15+ per annum to your earnings potential (depending on the degree you can bump that figure up accordingly).

You could open up new areas for yourself: media, arts, researcher, journo, teacher (further ed, or special needs = better pay and more flexibility), social worker (potential for high earnings if you specialise).

You could also spend a few years stretching your brain and having your own brilliance proved to yourself beyond any doubt.

Just a thought, maybe worth considering, even if only to dismiss.

I know - it just terrifies me to be this short of money for such a long time. And have to deal with being at school with such babies again. I know that's not fair, but neither am I.

I'd rather work and earn and study on the side. I'm terrified by being on benefits, or at the whim of Govt payments. What if the Tories get in at the next election? Boris shows the way the wind is blowing... My parents taught me that fear, probably because when they grew up the Welfare State was in its infancy. I have tried to overcome it, but I'll never be able to work the system as well as some. Deserving people I mean - I'm not yet that indoctrinated in the ways of the Daily Express ;) And I'll always be a worrier.

Just that one hour session last week did open my eyes as to possible futures though. How much I would love earning a living wage, at something I enjoy (maybe not every single day - I am realistic), coming home to Diz, maybe driving a car again, going to the supermarket and not having to keep a mental tally - unless it's just to keep my mind active. It would be wonderful. I see that Cherry in my future now, I really do. And I'm glad I have another 4 sessions. And support, here.

That's here, not there. Just saying.

sign language interpretor! SIGH!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BGfO693pME

More my type of man (could be bigger though)

that's great! I'm going to class in an hour and I'm going to show this to them--they'll LOVE it!!!

He's a mime rather than a BSL translator though.
Just in case someone stomped on you for that :)

All the estate agents are stood in a queue squabbling with the financial advisors over who gets into Teacher training first.

Just got back from counselling. Really hard this time. Got to the root of some things. Nothing that would surprise you hear, but the first time I'd said some things face to face to a professional.

I had a hard time explaining you though ;)
Imagine it as a notice board, really.
You know, you can put things up with drawing pins?
And sometimes you get 20 replies and sometimes none?
And people there really care about me and have helped me practically, financially and emotionally?

The questions marks don't show rising inflection, just me trying to get around blank looks.

She's a great counsellor, please don't think I'm, knocking that. But she admits she barely even uses email, so having a client whose main support is a buncha ferriners on t'internet is an odd concept for her to accept.

But yes, have come some with some wound licking to do.
And writing-down-of-feelings as homework. As well as taking next steps in above-mentioned careers.

How about working with animals (veterinary assistant, pet sitting)? Generally non-confrontational, easy job, and quite enjoyable. When I first moved here, I hooked up with a local in-home pet/house sitting company - the jobs aren't regular, but if you're not doing anything else it's a way to make a few dollars doing something enjoyable while searching for something with more hours/higher pay.

House-sitting/pet-sitting would give you a place of your own for a while and then you'd return to you parents in between jobs. Maybe a good idea for an interim measure, as Glinda says?