Feb 11, 2009: Stuffed Skate
 

Skates, a fish in the Ray family, are bottom dwellers, which is much deeper than Cellar dwellers.
They may be deeper in other ways too, but I digress.

They're carnivorous, feeding mostly on smaller fish and crustaceans that also make it to the bottom of the ocean.
What else makes it to the bottom? Trash.

This fisherman hauls up a Skate that looks a little lumpy, so he opens it up...

http://cellar.org/2009/flounder1.jpg

And what to his wondrous eyes does appear...
A digital camera
A book of some sort
A large bottle
A pack of smokes (I think)
A piece that looks like a foil packet for a condom...
or Alka Seltzer, which would make sense considering the rest.
http://cellar.org/2009/flounder2.jpg

Do they use Skate for sushi?

This picture came from a site called WarNet.ws which would indicate Samoa, but it's all in Russian. It's also NSFW around the edges.

Hey...that must be the one that cleaned up after our boat capsized!

OK, so tell us, alka seltzer or condom? :haha:

Well it's hard to know since it happened on a camping trip. :D

There's usually call for both.

wonder if the camera still works... maybe theres an sd card with pictures

Um...I'm gonna spew. One more reason to hate the creatures of the sea.* YICK.






*except the dolphin!

So, it ate a teenager who was out for a party...

No, A japanese tourist!

I'd expect more Hello Kitty merchandise. And more than one camera.


(also, the book looks more Chinese than Japanese to me, FWIW).

and that pack of smokes.....still PERFECT....not crushed at all!...from the ocean bottom?....and seems to be located somewhere inside the fish between the outside of its stomach and inside the wall of its body....hmmmmm

"A digital camera
A book of some sort
A large bottle
A pack of smokes (I think)
A piece that looks like a foil packet for a condom...
or Alka Seltzer, which would make sense considering the rest."

If it weren't for the pictures, I'd say we were looking at date night for Bruce, minus the rubber glove :-)

Ahhh, our beautiful oceans: Trash Cans for the Masses. :headshake

How do you know it wasn't a land skate?

Good point, but I didn't see any candy wrappers.

It's not a land skate! There's no wheels and no skate key on a shoestring around it's neck.

Maybe it's a cheap skate.

I wondered about that also. I don't think they chew so a full pack/box not being crushed in a possibility. They may have left out (or didn't take) a picture where they slit the gut, but I don't know if a Skate's gut expands to fill the entire cavity? What else is in a Skate besides the gut?

Thanks...now I can't get this song out of my head: ;)

Well, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and try them on to see
I been looking around awhile
You got something for me
Oh! I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

Yeah, I had that on a 45 when I was a kid (imagines all the young folks wondering what the hell a 45 is.)

poor thing

You and I remember them as records. The young folks know them as big bottles of malt liquor. :)

lol

My friend worked at the drive-thru years ago. She got lots of requests for Colt 45s or some kind of "Double Deuces."

You had all that on a pistol?

Melanie. I worked for a record label that briefly handled her back catalogue.

Yeah, my mom's name is Melanie...so she gave me that record.

Did she... uh... explain what the song is really about?

So the skate ate all that trash but there's no normal foodstuff in its gut? Hmmm... methinks I detect a whiff of shenanigans.

What I remember of Melanie is that I got her album and 11 others for just 1 penny!!! All I did was join Columbia House records and my life was ruined for years! Ahh, just imagine, 12 cool albums of music that I never would have bought..."but Mom, it's only a penny!".

:eek:

No, what?

It's like Naive Shawnee Day!


edit: Googled. Puh...the whole Freudian thing seemed too obvious. Anyway she said this:

"'Brand New Key' I wrote in about fifteen minutes one night. I thought it was cute; a kind of old thirties tune. I guess a key and a lock have always been Freudian symbols, and pretty obvious ones at that. There was no deep serious expression behind the song, but people read things into it. They made up incredible stories as to what the lyrics said and what the song meant. In some places, it was even banned from the radio.

Yah! And then there's the middle verse

I ride my bike, I roller skate, don't drive no car
Don't go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don't drive, I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl

don't read into - what!!!

Hmmmm...and how do you feel about that? [/freud]

:)

It's easy to put all kinds of things into songs that don't really belong there...why, I remember hearing NIN's F*** YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL and thinking, "hmmmmm...wonder what he means by all that?"

"you let me violate you
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you
you let me complicate you

help me
i broke apart my insides
help me
i've got no soul to sell
help me
the only thing that works for me
help me get away from myself

i want to f*** you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to f*** you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything

help me
tear down my reason
help me
it's your sex i can smell
help me
you make me perfect
help me
think of somebody else

i want to f*** you like an animal
i want to feel you from the inside
i want to f*** you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed"

I think it's about falling in love during a rain storm and finding shelter under an apple tree.

but, I could be wrong.

I tell you what. I would work LONG and HARD to figure out who that camera belonged to. I would then do whatever it took to personally return it to them. The look on their face would be worth any amount of effort.

"Did you drop this? In the ocean? I found it in a fish."

I think this fish is really a private investigator. I'm not paying that son of a bitch either.

Trivia. Melanie's last name is Sofka. Back in the 70s, she was this cute chubby young girl, whose knees looked like melons, which is why she was named Melonknees Sofka.