A Proper Funeral
 

After much thought I have decided on how I would like my body to be dealt with after death.

I want to be stuffed and put on display in The Mall Of America!!

Anyone else out there with any odd requests?

Green funeral...stick me straight into the ground and let me give back to the earth. Like they did with Nate on Six Feet Under.

I have requested cremation followed by a sprinkling of my ashes on a Rugby pitch right before a game and after a prayer.

I've probably told this story before, but anyway. I was talking to my family saying "You know, I want a party at my funeral. I want an open bar, I want people to get up and remember something funny I said or did...just a celebration."

My older brother says "Great, now that we have it all planned, let's set a date!"

:p

That would be great.

That's funny because a lot of people already think you're a fertilizer spreader.

J/K :D

:D Actually those guys would prob enjoy pushing my ashes into the pitch for years of bad calls.

What? You were inept at calling Rugby also?

J/K;)

I tell my wife that when I die I want her to throw a huge party and get laid. I really don't care what they do with the body, I won't be using it any more. By the way, I told her today that all of the Cellar will be invited. Maybe I should have this put into my will....hmmm.

Merc, I used to be a hooker a long time ago, I'd play rugby on that pitch any day. :)

:D, I was a second row and number 8.

I'd like the Ham bone funeral.

OK.

I'll bite.

[gets printer ready for recipe]

I want to be buried under a tree. There is a company that sets it all up for you. You get to pick the kind of tree and they provide the necessary extra stuff needed. I can't find the bookmark at the moment.

There is also a Russian company that will convert your cremated ashes into diamonds. It takes six months and the diamonds end up with a yellowish tint.

I wouldn't mind being shot into space like Scotty, tho.

My dad claims he wants to be cremated, sealed in a can. Then we are all to travel to his home-town and play tin-canny-oh with him.

I would like to be cremated and then my ashes thrown over a cliff on a windy day. Everyone is to have a party. If I have money to leave I want a beautiful park built, more like a sprawling, maze garden though. Lots of vines especially passion, moon, and morning glory. I want plum trees in my garden too, because I grew up with an orchard of plum trees, delicious. Its also illegal to purposely kill any spider in my garden. The rest of what I want is in my will.

Remember that frozen guy in Jerimiah Johnson? I'd like to go out that way, leave my carcass to the critters, and my rifle to the next guy that comes along.

I posted about my dad's wishes (unfulfilled) to have his cremains left on the A train, or as he put it, The IND, that way it'll be there forever. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_(New_...ubway_service))

I'd either want to not be a bother and go crawl off into the woods somewhere, but then, as I write this, maybe I'd want to cause a big fuckign bother and instead of crawling off into the woods somewhere, crawl into someone's home and make it look like they did me in, or some such misery and really create a problem for them.

It would have to be a right bastard as our Britishish people say. That might be pretty funny.
Police: "And how do you explain this dead body handcuffed to the pipes in your basement?"

Is that wicked of me?

If I knew I was close to death, or was rudely surprised by a sudden ending of my life, I'd want someone to buy me a ticket on a cross-oceanic cruise, and use half of it. The rest can party on! And if someone feels the need to cry then they can look at the ocean of saltwater and decide that there is no need to add more to it.

After being cremated, my best friend, who is a shaman, will do the honors for me. She knows that I want to be scattered on her lodge grounds.

I don't care what they do with my body when I'm gone, but I'll be watching to make sure they do it properly...whatever they choose. :)

Then I expect them all to get pissed cause that used to be one of my favourite things to do at a party.