The Cellar

The Cellar (http://cellar.org/index.php)
-   Parenting (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=30)
-   -   My ex-nephew dead of overdose in early 20s (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=18939)

Undertoad 12-08-2008 02:58 PM

My ex-nephew dead of overdose in early 20s
 
It's my ex's nephew; for 11 years, he was my nephew, he was family.

Born to a coke-addicted mom, and a coke-addicted dad who departed two years in.

Mom was able to kick coke long enough to be sensibly employed by an insurance agency for quite a while, starting to make a life for the kids. But addictions never really go away, and once mom started drinking, when the kids were about 10, it was all over.

She was relentlessly drunk, lost her job, lost her teeth, lost her money, lost her home, moved back with mom and dad and for a while; could not be trusted around any cash for five minutes, because she would take it to the nearest booze store.

Her girl, the younger, unfortunately developed breasts early and as a young teen was going out with 21 year olds. Don't know what she's doing now.

Her boy, the older, seemed to do OK for a while. He was a good pitcher and got a scholarship to a good school for it. But once he got there, as it will do at about that age, signs of schizophrenia set in. Kicked out of school, he moved back in with mom for a while I think, but somehow wound up back with grandma and grandad. Neither very sharp, I imagine they were mystified by this young man who was bipolar and had schizoaffective disorder. And they were completely unaware that he had become a massive opiate addict, perhaps in an attempt to self-medicate. Apparently the opiate of his choice was a fentanyl patch, an oxycontin of sorts; addicts will cut the patch up and eat it.

Grandma found his dead body over the weekend.

Shawnee123 12-08-2008 02:59 PM

I'm so sorry, UT. :(

Cicero 12-08-2008 03:10 PM

Bah. That's unfortunate...Didn't quite have a chance did he? :( Sorry UT.

lookout123 12-08-2008 03:13 PM

Rough end to a horrible beginning. Sorry toad.

glatt 12-08-2008 03:14 PM

Wow, that sucks.

Aliantha 12-08-2008 03:23 PM

What a horrible thing to happen. Words fail me.

Elspode 12-08-2008 03:57 PM

That's horrible. My condolences to you and your ex-family members.

sweetwater 12-08-2008 03:58 PM

Sorry, Undertoad. I hope the sister breaks the cycle.

binky 12-08-2008 04:18 PM

Oh God, UT I am so sorry.

limey 12-08-2008 04:22 PM

Ouch. so sorry UT. Sending hugs your way.

classicman 12-08-2008 07:06 PM

Condolences and prayers to the family. I'm very sorry to hear that UT. Thats just awful.

DanaC 12-08-2008 07:21 PM

God, UT, that's tragic. I'm so sorry.

Clodfobble 12-08-2008 08:01 PM

I'm sorry, Toad.

jinx 12-08-2008 08:02 PM

Condolences Tony, that's just incredibly sad...

Griff 12-08-2008 08:06 PM

I'm sorry brother.

SteveDallas 12-08-2008 08:13 PM

My condolences.... reminds me of my cousin, who died of a heroin overdose at a similar age.

richlevy 12-08-2008 08:41 PM

Very sorry, UT.

Pie 12-09-2008 10:33 AM

I'm sorry for your loss, UT.

Pooka 12-09-2008 10:48 AM

Thats horrible. I'm sorry.

kerosene 12-09-2008 11:35 AM

I am sorry, UT. What a sad situation. :(

wolf 12-09-2008 01:16 PM

Sorry for the loss.

Once someone starts eating fentanyl or duragesic patches, they have progressed from mere junkie to stone junkie. The miserable piece of shit junkie will steal patches from a family member who is dying of cancer and really needs them for the pain control. I know several of these.

I don't know a lot of schizophrenics who also shoot dope, or smoke crack, or even drink excessively. For some reason that's not a common combination.

Overdosing, whether accidental or intentional is part of the cost of doing business as a heroin user. One thing that's also common is that the junk is getting mixed with some nasty stuff, including a frequently fatal heroin/fentanyl combination. We get warnings about this stuff being found on the street more and more.

TheMercenary 12-09-2008 02:54 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss. An event none of us could wish on anyone but whose destiny often cannot be denied.

Big Sarge 12-09-2008 06:05 PM

Sorry UT. I don't know what else to say

Beestie 12-09-2008 06:27 PM

What a terrible tragedy.

My condolences.

skysidhe 12-09-2008 06:36 PM

my condolences UT.

Juniper 12-09-2008 06:38 PM

I've lost 4 of my friends to drugs over the years, and several others very nearly so. It really sucks. I'm so sorry.

Yznhymr 12-09-2008 06:43 PM

The older I get, the more frequently I find myself offering my sympathies. UT, my deepest sympathies to you and the other loved one’s impacted by this. Thanks for sharing the story and your pain with us.

Undertoad 12-10-2008 12:17 AM

Thanks folks. The obit is here.

http://www.northeastobits.com/posts....=44&obit=28458

SquidGirl 12-10-2008 08:16 AM

OMG...that is crazy! I never heard of the patch-eating thing. Wow. My condolences UT!!!

Nirvana 12-10-2008 11:29 AM

How very sad for your family!

footfootfoot 12-11-2008 08:36 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, UT.

Sundae 12-12-2008 05:38 AM

Sorry that it happened UT.
Life is hard for an addict, their friends and family, anyone who tried to help them.

It's horrible to contemplate a life lived in lies, mistrust, hurt, pain and need.
On the other hand it's hard to contemplate a life wasted.

My sincere sympathy to you and yours.

Undertoad 12-16-2008 09:51 AM

Now part two. The dead lad's addict mom, my ex-sister-in-law, was prescribed pills by an idiot doctor, to get through her son's funeral.

She was high and drunk and driving because her idiot parents, who did not recognize opiate abuse earlier (note that this thread is in the Parenting section), gave her car keys.

Remarkably, she managed to drive to her destination, but fell getting out of the car. Because her 50-year-old body has suffered 30 years of drug and alcohol abuse, it is now equivalent to the frame of an 80-year-old. So she took head, neck and back injuries in the fall. While in the hospital for all that, she contracted pneumonia, and so she is now in intensive care and may die.

If she lives through this, she will surely die within a year, of something similar.

There is no need for sympathy here friends, it is all used up. Learn the lessons instead. If you are parents, love your children, never abuse them, either physically or, as is the case here, mentally. Her parents were emotional abusers who crushed this woman's soul and so this is the result.

And if you, yourself, have been crushed, know it is not your fault, know that you can get healthy, it is possible, and seek therapy before it comes to this pathetic result.

Trilby 12-16-2008 10:32 AM

I think I'll go to a meeting.

Ruminator 12-16-2008 05:03 PM

I'm really sorry to hear this truly tragic account UT.

The families and people involved are in my prayers.

limey 12-16-2008 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 514095)
.....
There is no need for sympathy here friends, it is all used up. Learn the lessons instead. If you are parents, love your children, never abuse them, either physically or, as is the case here, mentally. Her parents were emotional abusers who crushed this woman's soul and so this is the result.

And if you, yourself, have been crushed, know it is not your fault, know that you can get healthy, it is possible, and seek therapy before it comes to this pathetic result.

Oh UT! If only we could all learn from these lessons. How to recognise when you are the crushed, or the crushee - that's the tricky bit :( .

wolf 12-17-2008 12:48 AM

The only really surprising thing about this is that I don't believe I am personally acquainted with any of the family members.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:32 PM.

Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.