Puns - made up on the spot
 

The deal-breaker thread reminded me of a deal-maker incident when Mrs. dar and I were dating.

We were with a group of friends and the topic of conversation turned to a then-current news item in St. Louis. A anesthetist at a local hospital had been killing patients during surgery. Evidently the doctor had been shoving surgical gauze down their throats. We'd gotten this far in the conversation when the future Mrs. dar started laughing. "Oh. The patients died of natural gauzes."

One of the many ways I knew it was love.

Anyone else heard or told a pun made up on the spot?

When my brother and his (then girlfriend now wife) came to visit me I was giving them a tour of my place. I lived in what was the old servant's quarters of the biggest mansion in town, and it was attached to an old garage and tack room...it was beautiful.

So anyway, as we were cutting through the garage area I looked down and saw one of those rectangular tins people use for roller painting, and someone had used it to change their oil. Not wanting them to step in it, I stopped, stood frozen, and out of the very corner of my mouth said "Oil pan. Oil pan."

?

Hasn't the Wizard of Oz been playing on teevee often enough? At least I think that's what she meant...right? :)

I was visiting my boyfriend. His older brother was reading Greek literature and paused to say, "Homer makes me Iliad". I responded with, "That would be Odyssey".

Since we have been going to training, my dog has become "teachers pet".

Srsly...

:)

Yeah, it was sort of a visual. Tin Man rusted, saying "oil can, oil can."

Ah well...

Are you aware of the double pun in your post?

"Srsly" = "Seriously". Sounds like sirius; latin for dog.

And an ex room-mates stage name. As in B. Sirius.

When Dazza and I had only been dating for a while, we were at my place having dinner with my brother and his wife and the kids when for some reason, our fluffy cat fell off the arm of the lounge and landed on her back.

Dazza's response was, "Gravity was her co-pilot".

Once when I was trying to pick up my Satan Spawn Cat, my ex said "Don't worry, he's just playing hard to pet."

This is part pun and part just funny.

My grandma, who was a really funny lady, asked my ex what he wanted for Christmas. (They were great buddies) He replied "A new butt. Mine has a crack in it." She laughed.

At Christmas he opened up a package with a small container of spackle and a putty knife with a note saying a new butt costs too much, but he could repair the old one.

The queen is not a subject.

(ahhh, never mind)

My mother-in-law came into town for the holidays, and she always brings plenty of snacks. She was telling us she brought a big thing of mixed nuts. However, she warned us that she had already been into them, and didn't think we'd find many cashews left. I replied...

"So, would you say they've suffered heavy cashewlties?"

That's a good one.

I like the phrasing on that. "Tin Roof. Rusted" is what Cindy Wilson shouts at the end of the B-52's "Love Shack". Apparently, the phrase means pregnant.

So I guess taking care of a baby is 'raising the roof'.

Um...I wanted to study astronomy, but it was over my head?

I always thought she said "You're what? Pregnant.":rolleyes:

This weekend I was at the 'rents and my brothers and one wife and kids were there. I turned around 3 times and said "What am I?"

New Year's Revolutions.

That's what she said.

I was waiting on my order at mickied's the other day when one of the idiots working there asked "have you been waited on?" In a flash I replied "Not as much as you have!"

I was helping my parents and a bricklayer friend do some repairs on their brick house.
My Mom was showing me a technique to repair small cracks in the mortar using long, thin trowels of different widths and shapes.
(point&tuck/tuck&point?)
Anyway, I was having trouble getting the mortar to stick, and as my Mom watched, she said "Let me try."
She took my trowel but had no better luck than I did.
As she looked at the trowel, she said "Well, Edwin, your tool is just to big for the crack."
It was one of those moments when she realized what she was saying but it was to late to stop, and I couldn't let it pass.
"Well, Mom!" I said, "I've heard that before but never thought I'd hear it from you!"
We both started laughing so hard My Dad and friend came to see what was up, so we had to tell them also!

you're winging it, I see

If I wasn't such a gadfly that would really tick me off.

I would make a pun, but, I'm kinda buzzed atm...

you would bee

Lousy puns, people.

You're just nitpicking.

Dana's post was bugging me until I got the louse pun. I thought I had spied her being a pest and fleeing the scene.

But her fly wordplay was moth entertaining

:bows to the master:

A stinging defeat.

I just had a customer named 'Pun T Wil**ms' Asian lady.

I once heard some archive audio from the 1930s/40s uttered by a stuffed shirt on BBC radio in which he described the pun as 'the lowest form of humour'.
I immediately warmed to the art form.
At work once, puns were the order of the day and were very entertaining. Well, we had very boring jobs.
Anyway, I suggested that we concentrated on a new pun each day.
I thought we could call it our current pun.

I prefer my buns with cinnamon and sugar, and currents in soda bread.

These are half-baked, gentlemen. You butter up the quality before this thread is pastry-demption

pleonastic sesquipedalian.