What Texans need
 

I found out my boss is being transfered to Texas, and I'd like to get him a going away gift. I figured I'd get him something that would be helpful to assimilate to Texas life.

So far I've come up with a Rattlesnake bite kit, and a Philadelphia Eagles shit.
Any suggestions? :D

Did you drop this by mistake?

Roadkill BBQ Sauce
http://www.timesnews.net/AllSites/gn...37226sauce.jpg

Makes them there Armadillers taste mighty fine.

Having lived in San Antonio (home of the Alamo) for several years, I found that state history is big in the educational system there. Natives refer to themselves as "Texians." The term "Texan" is what Hollywood adopted. I recommend printing out something like this excerpt and putting it in an 8"x10" frame for your boss:

"Texian" refers to the Anglo settlers of Tejas y Coahuila and It's what they called themselves! This piece was originally in the New Orleans Bee then reprinted in TELEGRAPH AND TEXAS REGISTER on November 7, 1835:

"The proper name for the people of Texas seems to be a matter of doubt or contrariety: some calling the Texians, while others speak or write Texans, Texonians, Texasians, Texicans. We believe that, both by the Mexican and American residents of the country, the name commonly used is Texians; the Mexicans giving it the guttural sound of the Spanish language, as indicated sometimes by x and sometimes by j, Teghians. The sound is not used in the present mode of speaking the English language, although the Irish use it in the word lough, and the Scotch in loch, a lake. The nearest approximation is in such words as Christ. Texians is, therefore, the correct name of the people of Texas; and besides being short, it is perfectly analogous to the usual mode of forming the proper name of nations by the termination in n; as Greece, Grecian Persia, Persian. It may also be considered the euphonious abbreviation of Texasian. But Texonian and Texasite are absurd epithets."

The name "Tejano" makes the distinction of an indigenous citizen of Hispanic origin.

--The Editor"

Otherwise, a book on the indigenous history is good too. Something like:

Texian Iliad: A Military History of the Texas Revolution

Texians are proud of their history. :2cents:

Talcum powder. For his sweaty ball-bag.

When we first talked about moving here I told Mr. Sweetwater what I needed to live here: high-speed Internet and satellite radio. Those might be hard to give a boss, though. You might find a book about the area history, restaurants, points of interest, that sort of thing if you know where the boss is moving.

Yes. :o

This bumper sticker:

It's obvious: a Big Hat.

Yeah, by the way, my family is from the country. As in, drilling for oil, having cattle, etc.

They don't wear "cowboy hats"

...If they want the sun out of their eyes, they wear a baseball cap like normal people.

Oh, Flint. Nothing about your family is "normal," but I think it's cute that you try.

I said like normal people.

It depends on what part of Texas

South Texas - Spanish to English dictionary

North Texas- A snow shovel

East Texas- A "lynching" noose

Central Texas-A city map (and also piercing if Austin)

West Texas- an unabridged version of War and Peace

Hahaha I had to buy that book for history at San Antonio Collage (SAC)

Wait a minute - Doesn't someone in Texas need a boat or a new house or something? Since Ike stopped by and all.

A sweater. They set the air conditioning at silly temperatures.

What part of Texas, Bruce? It really does make all the difference in the world.

I don't know yet. :confused:

Texans need ...


A bigger fence?

San Antonio

English-to-Spanish dictionary.

At least a three-month supply of Immodium, in that case. Takes the body awhile to adjust to real Mexican food.

:lol2:

haha....y'all crack me up. Who's from Texas in here? I'm from Houston myself. Got no idea what to give a person moving to San Antonio though. :P Perhaps lots of sunscreen? :D

San Antonio ...
 

One can contemplate at the Alamo and recreate on the River Walk; but, to celebrate the nightlife, send your boss to the MidnightRodeo. A lot of country western (CW) with a little rock & roll entertains people of all ages. There are also special events (including eye candy). It has eight full bars and bartederesses at large who roam around wearing custom gun belts with holsters that hold tequila bottles and bandoleers criss-crossing their chests with shot glasses in cartridge loops. Additional pouches hold limes and salt.

The MidnightRodeo is a tastefully done experience. It was a Friday night ritual for myself and SF cadre that I worked with. Perhaps you can give your boss a card with a dedicated cover charge enclosed. You might even spring for a CW dance lesson!

BTW, will your boss be there by October 18th for the VERY IMPORTANT LADIES PARTY?

No, he's doing military for the next 2 weeks... He has, I think it's 26 years in.