Lumberjim?
 

I saw a thread named "Lumberjim Memorial..."

This begs the question? Did Lumberjim die? If so, I'm pretty damned upset. He was one of the REALLY cool people on this board.

I hope he's still around.

yeah... he WAS cool.....I'm gonna miss that big fat jerk.



oh, wait.

He's fine.

But if Lumberjim died, what would we do to commemorate his death? I think for starters, we'd have an 11-day period of mourning where the board would be closed. And we'd all raise a glass and eat a dick in his memory.

stop, you're scaring me.

I would suggest that, in the event of anyone's passing, an official Cellar mourning period of three days would be observed, beginning on the Friday evening closest to the demise. Observant Cellarites would be required to do the following during this period:

1) Get hammered and stay that way.
2) Participate in the three day marathon memorial drunken Cellar chat.
3) Donate heavily to the Tip Mug.
4) Play the departed's favorite music loudly and incessantly until the police arrive.

I will not be eating any dick for anyone - period! That's Sheldons job.

wait....no one die.

You're awfully demanding for a dead guy, you know.

The single-word post "Cock." would have to be retired.

It was those sock puppet posts that did it. He laughed his fucking ass off and when you're 95% pure ass, that's a fatal condition :(

Well I know for one thing I would play with my huge COCK! in his memory.

If some Cellarite did die, in most cases none of us would even know about it. If I wasn't here tomorrow you would just assume I got a better offer somewhere else. Unless that new Alerta software covers that too.

(On the other hand, if LJ :behead::reaper:, Jinx might think to mention it.)

You'd be surprised. Someone died on Britnet (cancer) and their spouse who had never posted before posted to tell us. And on another Brit Expat site, a poster was killed in a car crash and a friend of his posted the news. The interwebs is sometimes smaller and more caring than you might want to imagine.

/seriousness

Of course if LJ were to die, we'd all know because of the huge mushroom cloud that would go up over PA -one strangely resembling a COCK

This thread reminds me of that sketch from The State where they decide to "kill off" Ken Marino.

In my distress, I was unable to write a eulogy of my own, so I asked Sheldon for help. I believe he may have been inspired by a certain playwright

Alas, poor LJ! I knew him, Undertoad: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his cock a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to your lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that.

if it weren't for the fact that I have a family to support, I might feel prepared to die, after that.

We've had deaths before. Here.

And here.

soooo....I wasnt meant to do that UNTIL he died?


shit

My brother knpws to come here if anything happens to me.
Don't tell him about the picture I linked with his tight shorts on - he'll be upset enough if I'm dead.

I for one would observe an official period of mourning for LJ.
This will involve wearing black knickers for at least 5 days.
And drinking LJ Memorial Rum Blow-Jobs (mouth of rum before you go down)

I quite like the sound of that!
When's the happy event?

"The Friday closest" could actually precede the event

So, yes, do give us due notice.

Oh! I want Godzilla at amp power 11!

Now that we have it all planned...let's set a date.

RIP, LJ

Maybe after Ramadan. I think BigV will want to participate.

Good call Happy Monkey - very courteous :)

That cat pic is great!

NO no, you eat a dick after he's dead. :p

Lumberjim: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
Lumberjim: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
Lumberjim: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
Lumberjim: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
Lumberjim: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
Lumberjim: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
Lumberjim: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Lumberjim: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the lumberjim with a whack of his club]