Kick My Ass
 

The writing is coming very slowly today. I really need a prod. Someone tell me what a worthless piece of shit I am.

Thanks.

It's all good, my friend. I bet if you just hang out here in the Cellar for a while, reading through the threads, you will get some great ideas. What you need is a distraction from the writing to free up you mind. Chill.

[/bad influence]

We do not need to tell you how sucky you are. You have already convinced yourself of that.

Go have sex with your girlfriend. You'll feel much better.

Perry Winkle - I think it's great that you're going through with this. You're almost finished.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Go and have a deep fried pizza or somthinguhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuhyuegi9

The last part of the message was from Hely, who came in and stepped on my keyboard
Dude, I'm afraid she's mocking you

:lol:

Hely sure is eloquent!

Dude.

Just go do one paragraph. Can't muster that? Ok, one sentence. Just one. Take that thought, even the thought "I can't do it" and

**write it down**

on the paper. You can edit later. But you can't edit what you haven't written.

One farkin sentence. Go. Go now and write it down. I guarantee we'll all be here upon your return. Go write it.

Take a picture of your cock. After you're done laughing at the bizarre image of you doing that write down what time you did that. If you haven't written at least _________ words in ________ hours you have to email that picture to your parents, siblings, and extended family.

Get to work.

Mmm, 1500 words in one go. Smells like progress to me. Like progress and burning kittens. Erm, I mean, go me!

Anyway, I think I need to write 1500-2000 words more to say what needs to be said.

Jesus, I hate this. But it's getting done.

Deadline is Monday at 4pm. I'll finish writing by tomorrow evening, at the latest and then spend Sunday editing the paper and moving to my temporary lodging.

Thanks for the beatings/encouragement, y'all.

Shit, you could do this blind drunk. Go get loaded there's time.

Very good.

Your one sentence (give or take) is REAL PROGRESS. Go repeat that progress. You've demonstrated your ability. You *can* do this, but you have to actually *do* it. Good job.

Now go repeat your success, write another sentence, or two or ten. Come back (if you must) and verify we're still here, get another cookie, etc etc. But go write again. Go.

Finished. Well, more or less. I just need to paste in my references, add one or two that I added in process, and make a few endnotes.

Thanks for the encouragement/abuse.

just one more service we provide...

Well done! You rock:)


One tiny piece of advice: do not leave the tidy-up, referencing and Endnote bit of the process til a couple of hours before hand-in. If you can at all, give yourself plenty of time to do that and then check it through. I have lost count of the work I have handed in that turned into a feckin' nightmare when it came to the tidy up, having left it til an hour before the deadline.

I'm going to sleep now, and let it simmer a bit. Then I'm going to move in the morning, which will be done by 10 am at the latest. Then the rest of the day is given over to polishing the paper, minus a ~45 minute jog and a quick meal or two.

It's due by 4 on Monday, but I'm not sure how difficult it will be to get it bound, so I'm going to head out to get that done at 9 am in case of difficulties.

Good plan. Leave as much time as you can afford, for last minute hitches. Sleeping first is also a good idea. Much more likely to spot formatting errors on the bibliography and so on, if you are rested.

Congratulations, Perry. Your turn-around is encouraging.

If it's not too late, proof read in hard copy. You miss so many errors on the screen.
In fact, once you've printed and bound your project, proof read that copy before you hand it in, and use correction fluid. Visible corrections let the marker know that you've really made an effort.

Mark up that paper copy in a color that sticks out so you don't miss something when you go back. Make sure your format meets the course requirements.

You have to get it bound? Is this a masters thesis?

It's a Master's thesis and, yes, I have to submit two bound copies and two electronic copies.

I've proofread the hell out of it, and triple checked the formatting. Even my girlfriend's professional editor of a mother has taken a crack at it. All that's left now is to print out all 54 double-spaced pages twice, get them bound and drop them in the Business office.

Excellent - Great Job - I'm buying you a "cyber beer" or 20 after you drop it off!

Do not stumble at the end of the long road. [/Gandalf]

Once you've got there, then get falling down drunk and stupid. Enjoy.

Perry you are a wonder.
I'm so impressed by you.

You followed your heart and your girlfriend - a gamble which has obviously paid off.
You've lived in a foreign country for a year and although we speak the same language Newcastle is a very foreign place (I'm not putting it down, it just is)
You've completed your Masters, which is a huge achievement in itself. But more than that you've completed it at a time when you felt you'd drained your last reserves and couldn't go on any further.

You, sir, have balls.

Well, I submitted all four copies at about 11 am. Then I went and had a celebratory Nando's lunch. Man, that place never gets old. I loooooooove me some grilled chicken.

Thanks for the imaginary beer, classicman. The sentiment is much appreciated.

SG, I'm blushing. You're too kind. BTW, I'm still trying to figure out a time to come visit in London. Maybe I'll just plan in a couple days there when I come back for graduation in early December.

Whoohooo! Well done PW!

In a day or two you might feel a little empty, but in a relieved kind of way. Sort of an "okay, now what do I do?' thing. I'm sure you'll find something to do. or someone.

You're assuming your thesis will be judged acceptable? Or writing it down was just a formality? :confused:

For the record, you can write it, you can read it, you can re-read it, but you really can't proofread it. That takes others' eyes.

I realize this is somewhat after the fact.

I offer you my heartiest congratulations, Perry Winkle! Your accomplishment will stay with you always, and you will always be able to use your memory of your success to lever yourself out of your next pothole of hopelessness. YOU did it, YOU can do it again.

Bravo, sir, bravo!

Thanks BigV. I had two other people give it a very thorough looking over, so hopefully most of the errors got caught.

I'm not sure I quite understand you. I'll reply anyway.

The standards here aren't notoriously, er, not high. I think it's safe to assume that either mine or my girlfriend's dissertations will be judged acceptable. Hopefully both.

Who knows, I could pass just because my paper is in reasonably fluent English. That's an advantage of being one of two native-fluency English speakers in the program.

No wonder you were demotivated, then -- if the quality wasn't so important it became more of a thankless task, eh?

Yeah. The stress and demotivation came partly from my (usually pragmatic) perfectionism and the fact that the pass line for my program is basically showing up.

I had the same problem with my first software development gig. Quality was of fairly low priority, as long as the customers weren't complaining too loudly. There wasn't any real development methodology. We scored about a zero on the Joel test, and would have scored negative if it were possible. It was nearly impossible to get fired (before the place went under after ~10 years in business). After 5 years there I was ready to give up programming for good.

As soon as I started working on my own projects my enjoyment resurged. Now I know what I want to do: I want to work for a small company that values quality, agility, both employees and customers. And will fire customers and employees when it must.

Wow. Does that last post sound like business-droid vomit or what?

This program has scarred me for life.

What programme was it? It sounds thoroughly disheartening.

I took a taught MSc. in E-Business and Information Systems.

Apparently Newcastle has some great programs, especially when it comes to the Medical and Dental schools. My program was about as far from great as I can imagine.

HERE you go! :D

OK, but the really important question about Newcastle is: Is King Kevin in or out?

Out

I actually like the guy but anyone who thinks Joey Barton deserves to ever set a foot on a pitch deserves to be tossed on his ass.