Jesus vs Mary
 

Be careful what you wish for. :p

Who would win in a battle of Jesus the Savior vs Mary the Immaculate Virgin?

Jesus would probably have some quick footwork from wandering around beepin' at people all the time, but Mary's got the mom smack-down thing going on.

You left out a choice...

"The American TV-viewing public"

Jesus, for sure...I mean Mary does have mom-power, but Jesus got his powers straight from God. Mary just doesn't have those kind of genes.

http://www.cellar.org/image.php?u=99...4&type=profile
Oh yea, Chuck!

link needs help, joe.

Ain't no fun watching a battle where the one guy just keeps turning the other cheek... even bitch-slapping gets old after awhile.

heehee

"Turn the other cheek, Jesus!" slap

"Mom, I love ya, but an eye for an eye, you know" poke, smack, kick

This point always confuses me. Is Mary Jesus's mom or wife? (or both?) Sorry, but I haven't read the book.

My head just exploded.

You've just proven that one doesn't need one's head to post on the Cellar.

We, the church, are the bride of Christ. Mary is Mom.

There's a "Man, I hate when my mother-in-law comes to visit" joke in there somewhere.

HLJ, I believe that had been well-established years ago.

You mean the book where Jesus wakes up as a giant cockroach and hilarity ensues as he tries to deliver sermons with his trap-jaw? That is a good one!

HLJ, in the New Testament there were two women named Mary figuring into Jesus' life.
His mom Mary, in traditional, mainline christianity was married to Joseph, but he was not the biological father of Jesus.
Maybe you've heard of the "Immaculate Conception"? The Holy Spirit caused Mary to become pregnant with the the long promised messiah of the Hebrew people?
You've maybe heard of the Holy Trinity; the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Together they make up the Godhead, three aspects of one God much in the same way that we are created as a body, mind, and spirit, for example but are one person.
The other Mary that is written about is Mary Magdelene. It was she who figures into an ancient legend of being Jesus' wife in the Grail legends.
Various versions have Jesus dying on the cross, or being taken down before dying and being secretly spirited away by friends.
All versions that I'm aware of have at least Mary moving to the south of France when strong persecution of the first century christians developed in Jerusalem.
Their supposed line of descendants are supposed to make up today's line of "blue bloods", certain Europeon royalty and their progeny that live around the world, and here in the US.
I've studied the subject and don't believe in the actual veracity of the legends. There likely are some facts that are included in the legend, like some known christians moving to southern France, but many legends have grains of truth in them.

Wait for the movie.

Ruminator - the immaculate conception actually refers to Mary.
She was conceived without sin - born without original sin to enable her to be a pure vessel for carrying Jesus.

Mary would win simply because she is a Jewish Mother. She can smack the bejesus out of him according to the bible (spare the rod and spoil the child) and he can't do a thing about it thanks to the 4th Commandment.

BigV is correct in that the Church is the bride of Christ.....kind of.....I think it's in Ephesians. But, it really began to gain a kind of currency during the Middle-ages when it was basically utilised by the Papacy as a tool in its political and religious supremacy.

Mary, despite being the mother of Christ, is also shown in much medieval artwork as the Queen of Heaven, sat enthroned at his side. This is the role of a consort.

Thanks Sundae, I meant to say Jesus' virginal conceptional. ;)

- Rumi

Jesus of course....
Even if she did kick his ass he would just keep coming back, she could win the battle, but not the war.....She could probably kill him but he would just get right back up anyway.....Not such a great victory.

What's better than that? You are a sick person Shawnee! I love it!
:D

Hey Cicero! Where ARE you?

Hope lightning didn't strike you down. Jeeeezussss, it was just a joke! :p

Didn't they make a movie with Charlton Heston as Moses? Its not the entire book, but its a start. I'd like to see a movie of all those "begats." The Bible as porn. Heh-heh!

Chuck Norris would have kicked Jesus' ass. I think Chuck would be too much of a gentleman to kick Mary's. So Mary might win by default.

PS This is my 100th post. It only took me a year. Guess I need to start spamming all the discussions, so my post rate will go up. ;)

Happy 100, SamIam!

Rumi---you don't happen to go to Walsh, do you? :angel:

Mary is mother of Jesus AND Mary Magdelene was his wifey.

Has NO ONE read the Da Vinci Code? Sheesh! Bunch of Philistines!

Heh heh, Brianna, no I don't. But I can drive to Walsh from my house in about 5-6 minutes. :D You know some people there?

I exect that many have read the novel of the Da Vinci Code. But its a story about an old fable.
I have a few books on the subject. I studied the subject twenty some years ago. It was interesting, but it doesn't hold water.

I was only joking about the Da Vinci Code, rumi. I've got a weird sense of funny.

I actually DO know someone at Walsh! PM me and I'll tell you who!

Celebrity Death Match! Let's Get It On!

Lets see, Mary, even with an Immaculate Conception was 100% a human being.
And Jesus was 100% a human being- plus he was also divine- God incarnate.
There is no contest possible- the very Creator of All, against a creation of His?
The comparison might as well be you or I against Jesus, ie.... God, our Creator. :p :D

I wholeheartedly agree. A Jewish mother, I would not want to tangle with. But Barbra Streisand? She'd be like buttah.

Virgin Mary on a grape.
Apparently.