The next 19 years
 

So you've spent 19 years being a mom then they grow up and there's this vacumn. One more year of transfer courses then it's off to a University. I am excited for him but excited I get one more chance to help by dorm items which I think is pathetic.

I feel pathetic. I don't want to be one of those old people who talk about memories without building any new ones but I do find myself missing the early years.

I want to do cupcakes at school, halloween trick or treating. It's really weird. This transition. It's the biggest peaceful empty bubble evah!

wow - you sound a lot like me last year. Its a tough transition, but it can be a great experience to relearn all about this wonderful human being you've guided this far into the world.

Don't worry. He'll move back in just as soon as he finishes college. While he, you know, tries to save for his own place.

I know you're both right.:)

I'll hopefully have downsized by that time and relocated to a place that is close enough for visiting, but far enough that they won't want to live with me.

Right before I graduated from college, I told my mom "Mom, you know, a lot of young people these days are opting to move back in with their parents for a couple years." My mom replied "A lot of parents aren't giving that option." My mom's a hoot. When I was a pre-teen, she told me when I got married she would give me a thousand dollars and a ladder.

Of course, if I needed to my childhood home would have been open, but they really did want me to be independent.

:) Hang in there, sky!

I tried to go back to my childhood home, but the people who lived there had changed the locks.

I would never have willingly moved back in with my parents, no way no how. Summer after freshman year was bad enough, from that point on I made sure to secure housing that didn't close for the summer.

lol @ HLJ and Classicman.


rat's clodfobble....most kids like free rent. Must have been rough :(

Not rough--I just have a fierce sense of independence. Strange, I know. Free rent means it's not mine, to do with as I please.

The rent is never free... they make you pay one way or another.:eyebrow:

Same as my parents. They'd have me back in a heartbeat if they really thought it was my only option. But they'd make sure I had been through every other possible option first.

They love all of us, but as far as they are concerned we're adults now, and they are enjoying the life that they worked hard for, for 40+ years.

Oh and I paid rent/ housekeeping from the age of 16, as did my sister. My brother was in school til he was 18, but he paid from then. I'm not going to pretend it was anything like market rates, but it did impress on us that we were living in their house, not our house any more. In fact I paid 1/2 of the phone bill while I lived at home, because I was so fed up with my Mum locking the phone when she went out, as it meant my friends couldn't call me. They were quite shocked when I moved out and there was hardly a dip in the phone bill (these are the days before itemised billing). That was one of my few valid teen grips - I told you I hardly ever used the phone!

I was pretty independent too. When my parents and I dropped my older brother off at college (he is two years older than I) it was all sad and scary (of course, he is the oldest, so there's that) but when they dropped me off I was like "kisses, love you, careful going home...hey roomie where's the party?"

Living with the 'rents would have been hard for me...but I knew the option was there if I really needed it.

I am in no way ready for this. Good luck.

:haha: All that skiing, hiking, and mountain biking, boils down to patrolling the perimeter, eh Griff?

lol Bruce, that's funny

* great visual *

Why did they pave the lawn?
why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live

OMG, I was so just thinking of quoting them in the Wheels of Fortune thread, but wasn't sure it fit:

Driving home to be with you
The highway's dividing, the city's in view
As usual, I'm almost on time
You're the last thing that's on my mind
I wish I could tell you the way that I feel
But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

No commotion, no screaming brakes
Most of it's over before I awake
From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips
While out my window, the horizon does flips
The worst part was hitting the ground -
Not the feeling so much as the sound
Can't help but wonder if all this is real
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

Rubberneck traffic and passersby
And Slow Motion Walter the fire engine guy
Stand around with their mouths open wide
I heard some idiot ask if someone's inside
With the Jaws of Life they tried and they tried
Nobody here can know how I feel
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel...etc

HM sings that at Open Mike.
I like the sound of the song, but it really creeps me out.
Then again - I heard him rehearse it over and over and over, so the lyrics are seared into my brain.

At my last Winter conference this long time FA guy surprised the crap out of me when he sang, for the talent show, Break Your Heart, and nailed it. If he'd been doing some Ed Robertson vocals I might have thrown my panties on the stage. :blush:

Hang on - rereading it I'm not sure he sings the same version.
I know there's a mention of blood.

Ah yes, "I've never seen so much, never seen so much, never seen so much blood"
Grim.

No, that's it...the rest of the song:

I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
So much blood

In all the confusion, there's something serene
I'm just a posthumous part of the scene
Now I'm floating above looking in
As the radio blares and wheels spin
I can see my face slump with a grin
And you...you're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind

Not my fave BNL song, but I don't care what anyone says I think they are talented, clever, and funny. And at the risk of redundancy: I wouldn't kick Ed out of bed for eating crackers.

...and pretty much true.

I absolutely love BNL, but I had to take that one song out of my iPod rotation, because it makes me cry, every frickin' time.

skysidhe, I have been there too. It is true that you will have moments of missing him. But, you also learn to value so much more his hugs.

My wife and I have two fine strapping, well mannered sons, 25 and 23 yrs. old.
Our oldest lived at home while attending college then moved three hours away. He just gave up a $58,000 annual income and is living at home with us now while he finds a job back here. He learned my values well that personal relationships are where the greatest joys in life are borne. So he is relocating back to where his friends and family live. All of his high school friends still live in the general area here.
I SO relish our time now spent together working on our home. Tonight he helped me tear out the bushes in the front of our house.

Our youngest left for South Africa for a year of schooling at a seminary in Capetown several months after high school graduation. He's back and living on his own ten minutes away for the time being. He has plans to get involved in international missions work.

Its tough at times, but you will find their love and appreciation grows for you from your absense also.

Look for new opportunities, they abound all around you. :)

- Rumi

Ours are 32 & 25. Both left for college at 19. Both partied the first year and bombed. One went back and buckled down - got her degree. The other went to school and became a Massage Therapist.

Oddly enough they still keep us somewhat busy but they manage their lives rather well. Guess we did our job. Empty nest syndrome? Had that for about two months then BIL moved in (another post). Those two months were GREAT! We still talk about it. Now my mother has moved in. Not really complaining. She is respectful, undemanding, and gives us our space. She kicks around pretty good for an 84 year old lady who is almost deaf and damn near blind.

We have three grandkids. We take care of them three days a weeks while our daughter goes to another city to work. At first it was difficult - getting used to it difficult. But they have been a joy to us. I love them dearly.