And I thought MY life was in the toilet!
 

Boyfriend: Woman who lived in bathroom felt safe there
Associated Press
Mar. 13, 2008 06:29 AM

WICHITA, Kan. - A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time he called police had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said.

"She is an adult; she made her own decision," said her boyfriend, Kory McFarren. "I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it."

The case drew nationwide attention after Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat in the two years she apparently was in the bathroom.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

McFarren, 36, said he can't be certain how long Pam Babcock stayed in the bathroom because "time just went by so quick I can't pinpoint how long." He said beatings she received in her childhood caused her phobia.

"It just kind of happened one day; she went in and had been in there a little while, the next time it was a little longer. Then she got it in her head she was going to stay - like it was a safe place for her," McFarren said.

But McFarren said she moved around in the bathroom during that time, bathed and changed into the clothes he brought her. He brought food and water to her. They had conversations and had an otherwise normal relationship - except it all happened in the bathroom.

McFarren said he finally called police Feb. 27 after he became worried because Babcock was acting groggy - like she didn't know what was going on, except she was awake.

What emergency responders found when they went into bathroom has left residents of this small western Kansas town buzzing, and law enforcement officials incredulous.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

She initially refused emergency medical services, but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

Whipple said the county attorney will determine whether any charges should be filed against McFarren.

McFarren, who works at an antique store, said he has been taking care of Babcock for the 16 years they have lived together. He insisted that he tried to coax her out of the bathroom every day.

"And her reply would be, Maybe tomorrow,' " Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

She was reported in fair condition Wednesday at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Babcock has an infection in her legs that has damaged her nerves, and there is a possibility she may wind up in a wheelchair, McFarren said.

James Ellis, a neighbor, said he had known the woman since she was a child, but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," Ellis said.

Babcock had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up, he said.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

30 Years in the Bathroom, The Wonder Stuff, 1989

My lavatory has been my sanctuary
And it's easy for you to laugh at me
'Cos I been 30 good years in the bathroom, baby
Rubadubdub one man in a tub and it's me
Always me

CHORUS
And now the time has come to share the joke
That the latch on the bathroom door is broke
And now it's time to let you know
That it's only the beat of my heart that is slow

Who's fault is this? I deny that it's mine
I been stuck in here since 1959
That's 30 good years in the bathroom baby
But it's okay, yeah it's okay
Cos when they come to take me away
I will be clean, I will be clean

CHORUS

Well I been 30 years in a bad mood, baby
But it's okay, yeah it's okay 'cos that's better
Than 30 years on the back seat of a car
Oh beat me with the pumice stone
Eight to the bar

CHORUS

Can I just say...

What in the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!?

Sorry..had to before someone else did....

Maybe that's the next step. In 5 years, they'll be prying her out of the refridgerator.

Here's the part I don't get:

Soooo, at what point did the toilet seat fuse to her ass?

What goes around comes around. At least this lady was on the toilet, unlike this poor sap from a few years ago.

Is this a euphemism, like "having relations" with someone?

While she was stuck to a toilet seat? Ewww.

How long does it take an ass to fuse to a toilet seat? Seriously. Would it matter if it were plastic, wood, or that squishy stuff? I think he's lying when he says she moved around and lived like a normal person, except for being in the bathroom.

Considering that they were thinking about pressing charges when I read it on FARK this morning, I would think he is trying to save his own ass.

I just think it is sad that it took an infection after 2 YEARS for him to do anything. Stop bringing her food, if she wants to eat bad enough she'll start coming out. Start putting it right in front of the bathroom and slowly move it farther away, kind of like coaxing a bunny.

Just my opinion anyway

ok, he's an ass who should have called for help much earlier, but let's stop and think for a second. This guy is obviously just as screwed in the head as the woman. What guy would bring food and water to the bathroom because his girlfriend won't come out for two year?

Criminal charges my ass. He didn't duct tape her to the toilet, she just quit coming out. They're both in some serious need of therapy.

I really do think he just wasn't so smart and she's an agoraphobic. These things happen. Maybe she picked that guy because she knew he would put up with crap like that. Hi, you pay the rent and bring me food while I go crazy and stay in one room......

He was waiting on a sick person and did what he thought was best. In some small way he probably did think she was taken care of. Just not the sharpest tool in the shed. It's not his fault that she stayed in the bathroom. There is no indication that it was a forced situation.

Lots of strange things happen when people think they are taking care of a sick significant other.He didn't do anything criminal. The final line was drawn and he made the call.

She could have called for help at any point. She has done this sort of thing before I'm sure. Her mental health record is probably long and wordy and he isn't a qualified home health care aide.

Where did he use the bathroom? Maybe they had two bathrooms, but considering she couldn't be working and he doesn't seem so sharp I doubt they were in a 3 and half bath kind of place. I'm just assuming, of course, but if she were on the throne long enough to fuse herself, if they didn't have another throne, he must have been going somewhere else to, um, drop the kids off at the pool. I mean, if mainly she just stayed in that room but moved about, as he said, there had to also be an extended period of time where he didn't have access. Just very, very odd.

He cans his stuff for research purposes.

lol! Now that is the real question now isn't it? lol!!
:D

The other question...Why was she just a live-in girlfriend still after 16 years with this guy? If people hadn't seen her in 6 years....Maybe she refused to leave the bathroom after being with him for 10 years until he proposed? Maybe we aren't getting the real story here. (I love my what really happened, pure conjecture stories)
:p

This is one reason why I like you, Shawnee. Always thinking of the other angles. No, their place was hardly palatial. In fact, it was...a trailer. This trailer, according to a local news station.

OK, dude has been charged with mistreatment of dependent adult. I wonder what the definition of "dependent" is. Obviously, I would consider a dependent adult to be one who cannot care for themselves (in whatever fashion) and depends on others. Before she wouldn't get off the throne, would she have been considered dependent?

What an odd case.

Yea...Dependency is usually determined before arrests are made....There are no real facts in that article on why he was charged at all. Aside from "the closest law that fits" that's why. Dependency has been brought up in this case a couple of times, but no one has said whether dependency was legally filed, and whether or not it was determined before or after this alleged crime.

I want to know where he went to the bathroom and why she was still just his girlfriend.

Is it even legal to have a dependent in your household that is not married to you, a family member, or filed under legal guardianship status? The charges are bololgne. I think proving a girlfriend is a dependent of yours might actually be the illegal part....which is being done by the cops.

If life were that way- I could say all those boyfriends were dependent and write it down on my taxes. hah. If this case turns out that way I still may. Awesome. Go get some crazy boyfriends...I mean.."dependents".

I was thinking they meant "dependent" in terms of needing care, not in terms of filing taxes.

Any ideas/thoughts?

Based on the little I've read about this case, if I were on the jury I'd have a hard time convicting the guy of anything. He didn't tie her up in there. She could come out at any time. She chose not to. He enabled her by bringing her food, but giving someone food isn't a crime.

Yea. Dependency is a legal issue, it is a term for needing care (disabilities), and taxes. Not something you slap on someone after the fact. I want to know how he proved his girlfriend was a dependent. That's what I want to know.

There is social dependency but you can't be hit with charges if it isn't documented and filed with the courts. You have to go to court, prove someone disabled, and then hash out legal dependency. They po'. I guarantee a boyfriend was not granted guardianship of a handicap.

It's impossible to claim a girlfriend as a dependent. Bullshit charge. Then every asshole I ever tried to date would have done it. You should see what they tried when they heard about common law marriage! ha!

I'm betting they (Sheriff and DA) decided she was a dependent after they found her in a bathroom. Because he admitted that she relied on him. Girlfriends are not your dependents and can't be proven to be. Unless you are involved with this case. Weird.

Those are my thoughts, pretty much. As weird as the whole thing might be, I can't see where criminal charges would stick.

I think the most he could be charged with is criminal neglect.
Kind of like a parent who lets their child die, knowing they are sick from whatever illness, without getting them medical attention.

This has me thinking: I can test the mettle of any future boyfriend by finding out how long it takes him to seek help if I won't get off the toilet. Well, he should seek help or run screaming, otherwise I don't want to date him. :lol:

No. See how long it takes for him to try and claim you as a dependent. If he says...Oh go ahead, sit there hon' you are improving my tax status this year, you know he's not the one for you. Heh. If she really was a dependent he got her food stamps too! Ha haaa!!! Maybe even her SSI or other checks for you know, bills.....I wonder if people still trade food stamps for crack.
:)
You just sit there. I'm going to get your gov't check and take care of it for you.

I've been agoraphobic (severely). I'm not quick to blame anyone that has to deal with someone in that condition.

You think that is a lesser charge than "mistreatment of a dependant adult?"

A brief Googling brings up this definition in a Washington state law code:

I know these people aren't in Washington, but I bet the definition in the state they're in is similar. They seem to be basing it on the fact that she couldn't feed herself, and by bringing her food, he was assuming care for her--in which case he had a responsibility to care better for her than he did. If he didn't want to care for her, he should have called the appropriate people even sooner.

what's a half bathroom?

Toilet and sink only, no bathtub/shower.

No shower or tub, just a toilet and sink.

Edit: Yeah, uh. What UT said.

That's what we call a 'toilet' here, or lavatory, or crapper, or shithouse or loo.

Clodder...yea..that would be the definition..but legally care is not assumed because it needs to be defined so as to manage that handicapped persons care and to control abuses to that care. You may never assume legal dependency. For the protection of the handicapped and all others.

He was not legally obligated to the care of that individual. Socially she was dependent not legally a dependent.

If it is on record that she is a dependent of his and he signed a document to be her home health care provider or guardian so be it! But I don't think he did.

This is not to say that if you see or hear about anyone in this condition that you shouldn't call within a reasonable amount of time.....

I thought that revelation explained a lot about the situation.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/e...re/7318610.stm

This 71-year-old Brit just got jailed for letting his wife starve to death.

It really wouldn't get that far. The moment you told me I had to leave the seat down, your ass would be out the door.:D

Did anyone read what the grandson had to say? It just kind of poked out as an odd thing to say:

~snip~After the hearing the couple's grandson, who gave his name only as Bradley-Lee, described Mrs Pottinger as a "lovely gran".

In a statement, he said: "She would give you the last pound in her pocket. Why take her away from us? ~snip~

Squalor syndrome. That sounds bad...I hope I don't get that.